Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:22 am 
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Hey guys,

I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible.

Something I've recently learned about inner work is better experienced than told. It's actually hard to quantify or measure. It's letting stuff go. For the longest time, I fumbled around in the dark with it. My attitude at first towards inner work was bellicose at worst and unproductive at best. I thought it was "hooey" as The Kidd!! would say.

I tried hypnosis before I found this forum. I even tried affirmations. IIRC, I may have even tried alpha or beta wave music, whatever puts you in a meditative state. None worked for long. Around the time I asked Meraki for the Pushups thread (use the search function if you don't know it), I also came across an article that essentially was a "pink" pill for letting go. Essentially, the article said, "Just tell yourself to 'let it be'."

Honestly, telling yourself to let it be is a good start. I did it for a while with mediocre results. You reap the seeds you plant. I planted mediocre seeds with no insight into myself. What I did notice was that by crossing the terrain in the immediate present moment no matter how little, which it is not much at all, it had a profound effect on my body. Most of the time, the energy from me would turn to heat. I would get warming sensations. I'm a hot head at heart. :lol: 8-)

Nah, in all seriousness I could feel the energy leaving. Sometimes your body needs to release the energy in different ways.

I actually gave up for a while when it stopped working, and I must say that the one thing you can't do is give up. I gave up because I thought inner work was too hard, but I acclimated to inner work when I realized that it doesn't come prepackaged in a certain form.

You won't find out how versatile inner work is and how in-fucking-your-face-in-the-moment it can be unless you put in the effort. Inner work is directly tied to the effort you put in and not the time spent on it. Although, having a regimented schedule is helpful for developing discipline because it's a muscle. Depending on the intensity of the emotions for the issue at heart and the level of conditiong, which at times can be bottomless wells of work/power/energy, you'll find a variety of intensity and topography, highs, lows, and everything in between.

The one thing you can be certain of when you let go of something seriously is that there's no charge or the entire mental, emotional, and possibly physical associations change to more palatable associations.

Why am I writing this:

I recently went through an experience so devastating(ly)? :lol: releasing that I broke out into a full sweat. This has only happened on a few occasions for situations that I've had an immense fear, aversion, and hatred for, incredibly painful emotions. Describing the release in the right way is to call it devastating. It laid waste and ruin to every mental image and picture I had associated with issue before hand. My entire orientation changed. Reconciling is too nice of a word to describe how you restore a hijacked mind and body. It feels good no doubt. There are tons of great feelings during and afterward. However, you have to tear down the barriers between your mind, body, and conditioning. This can feel "devastating" like an earthquake.

One of the main reasons I'm writing this is because when you get to "core" experiences you may have questions about what is happening with your alignment and balance. You may wonder why xyz happens in your body when you let go of something.

One of the things I remember Peregrinus saying in a thread a long time ago was that letting go doesn't have to be a slow process. In fact, it can happen anywhere from 1 second to 1 year depending on how you approach the issue. In the same vein, changing doesn't have to be a slow process.

If you're reading this for the signs that you let it go. Don't look for them. They're usually different from each other and depend on intensity. Some signs that it occurred though are: happiness (good for you); anger (you realized something important); crying (depends); hotness (you're releasing energy stored in fat and muscles, which can be tied to specific memories in your body :ugeek:); sweating (same, but way more intense); coldness (man that's some dark shit, you need to give energy to something that clearly needed your attention :lol:); stillness (way to go, you reached a new level, can you make it happen at will? Check and see how your conditioning stacks up); laughter (good one man); nothing (this happens as a default a lot, accept it).

All you need to do is let it go and be well. Simple as said, but simple doesn't come until you experience it. Until you let it go.

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"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness." - Jean Vanier


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 7:16 am 
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Great post! I remember several years when I was fairly new to meditation I would often feel like nothing was happening, I was looking for results everywhere and not seeing anything tangible so I felt like it wasn't working a lot of the time...this just isn't the case though.

Here's a specific example that's actually really funny now looking back on it. I'm meditating and feeling like nothing is happening and I'm starting to get very very frustrated. All the sudden I spring out of my bed, rip my bedroom door open, slam it shut behind me and at the very same time I'm pulling it closed I put my fist through it. I felt an intense frustration and anger rise up in me in meditation and rather than sitting there and being with it which I now am conscious enough to do, the unconscious part of me that didn't want to deal with it projected it onto the meditation itself as being frustrating and "nothing is happening". Yet it took me back to a time when I was a teenager with raging hormones living in a home with my mom and sister just after my parents got divorced. I would find myself having episodes of uncontrollable rage where I punched more than 1 hole in a door/wall. Meditation brought this back up for me and many years later brought the same unconscious behavior back out of me. Immediately after punching the hole a wave of calm/tranquil energy washed over my whole body and it was like I wasn't even the same person that had just punched this hole in my door only a few seconds earlier.

Sometimes when you think nothing is happening, there's actually a lot happening, you just aren't conscious of it...especially early into you inner work. The important thing is to just stick with it. You will sometimes stir up energy in yourself that you aren't able to look at which will then manifest circumstances into your life which force you to look at the energy that came up in meditation that you weren't able to see at the time. This is a good thing, you're being triggered to deal with this emotion via reality reflecting it back to you. Embrace the highs and lows along the way, be consistent, and accept yourself and what you're feeling and thinking in all circumstances....it's in your experience so it's valid....Period


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 7:30 pm 
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Gem this thread please, I will post something later too


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 9:31 pm 
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Good points. Many get caught in the passive sounding nature of things like let it go, let it be, don't fight / resist, allow, as a type of sitting there and not doing anything. It is actually an invitation to stay with the most intense of emotions, because all of the labeling, describing, resistance, even many of the 'techniques' are actually strategies of moving away from the raw direct experience.

To sink fully into something does not have to take long as you said, that too can be just another way of tricking yourself into staying away from discomfort: "I'm working on it, I'm going layer by layer." Ultimately it is not up to you whether it takes a second or does in fact have more layers, but the willingness to stay with it will lead you to the most direct route.

It is a process of self discovery and not a series of rote actions you can repeat. All teaching around it (and I teach a lot around it) are, even at their best, pointers for you to experience it for yourself and learn your own way of how it is for you. The more you put into it the more you discover.

Also, once you start to get some first hand experience that:
1) Any experience, no matter how intense, has an eye of the hurricane quality to it at the core if you can move into it
2) All inner and emotional experiences happen inside if your own awareness, it is impossible for them to actually take you over, overwhelm you, harm you, those are only ideas your mind generates

then you develop the early stages of a type of imperturbability that recognizes that no matter what comes up, you are it's equal. In fact you are primary to it, it appears to you, not vice versa. This is true freedom and true power. The immature concept of power and freedom is one of being able to control circumstances and experiences so that they always match your preferences.

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http://www.innerreconciliation.com


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2017 2:11 am 
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Flow83 wrote:
then you develop the early stages of a type of imperturbability that recognizes that no matter what comes up, you are it's equal. In fact you are primary to it, it appears to you, not vice versa. This is true freedom and true power. The immature concept of power and freedom is one of being able to control circumstances and experiences so that they always match your preferences.


You know how to touch a heart. :lol:

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"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness." - Jean Vanier


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:04 pm 
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Great write-up Slim and great comments here. I'd just add one thing from my experience.

It's easy to fall into a trap of "letting go will be this great sudden explosion of energy that I'll feel and then it'll be gone" Things resurface, come back in different forms, and that's part of the learning process - truly letting go means not having a motive of pushing emotions and energy away, but letting them speak to you. Obviously, you have to develop the muscle of being able to see what's going on clearly, but this part is also key, I think.

I've had a rough month - waiting to hear back on an interview process that took 3 rounds and over a month of effort (great test of letting go of results and focusing on the present moment, cause that shit is hard in this type of circumstance), having my girlfriend living in another city because of a good job she found and waiting on me to come over to said city, finishing up my diploma thesis, teaching English almost full-time, balancing school with all of this..basically, it's been a hotbed for negative emotions, mainly frustration and anger at things not being as I want them to be, and stress doing a number on my head (migraines).

I've gone to my parent's for Easter to settle my mind instead of visiting my GF, been doing yoga and meditation quite a bit while finishing up the diploma thesis and doing a lot of letting go. Some of it was me being in a literal cramp with burning sensations in my throat, some of it was me breaking down in tears. But the most significant shift came from, I believe, a good 2 day session of being flat-out depressed. Laying in bed, watching Brookly Nine Nine and letting this energy hit me. It wasn't a sexy release, it was more like sitting out in the rain and watching storm clouds slowly tear apart and reveal the sunshine.

Basically, what I'm trying to say in this long-winded way is that the less preconceptions you have of what's going on in you, the more effective shit'll be.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:25 pm 
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It's insane how this forum gets distilled into information so valuable and pure it makes up for more than most self-help books out there.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:54 am 
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Aragorn wrote:
It wasn't a sexy release, it was more like sitting out in the rain and watching storm clouds slowly tear apart and reveal the sunshine.

Simply beautiful

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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