This is a long post about my upbringing and circumstances and how they shaped my views on sex.
I was raised by Korean parents. I don't know if you guys know this, but in Korea, sex is considered taboo. Premarital sex is frowned upon. The government even blocks access to porn sites. Since my parents grew up in Korea, they had this uptight perspective about sex, and I was raised to have the same views about it. Also, my parents are christians, so from an early age, I was required to attend church where I was further taught that sex is bad and that I have marry to have sex blah blah.
On top of that, I grew up in a suburban neighborhood in Los Angeles that is filled with conservative Asians. Most of my schoolmates were first or second generation Asians. I was surrounded by kids like me who were taught by their parents not to engage in premarital sex.
By the time I was in high school, I was totally brainwashed. I had no interest in pursuing girls to have sex, and a lot of the other Asian kids were in a similar position. Don't get me wrong. I was a horny teenager with raging hormones, so my libido was there. I just didn't consider premarital sex a possibility due to all that brainwashing. It didn't help that all my friends were Asian males who weren't getting laid. A lot of them ended up getting into relationships, but practically all of the ones that ended up with Asian girls (which was virtually all of them) remained virgins. There were some girls that had a crush on me, but unfortunately...they were all Asian! They would chase me, write me notes, and stuff like that, but none of them were down to fuck (or were they?)... No hints or mentions of wanting to fuck from any of these girls.
Besides thinking that premarital sex wasn't ok, I also came up with my own conclusions. I actually thought that people just didn't have much sex in general. I thought that people mainly had sex to make babies and rarely did it just to have fun (naive, I know
). I think I came to this conclusion because my Asians friends and I never caught our parents having sex, and very few of the kids I knew were doing it. I knew that men weren't the problem. Men are horny and want to have sex. My male friends and I were proof of that, always talking about jacking off, hot girls, porn, and all that other perverted stuff that teenaged guys like to talk about. I started thinking that women were the problem. I socialized with Asian girls at my school as well as older Korean women, and it always seemed like they were so sexually dry. It was as if they had no desire to have sex. I started thinking that women just didn't have much interest in sex and that they didn't enjoy it.
My perspective about this remained the same until sometime in my second year in college. I found a facebook page where people from my school anonymously posted about their sexual encounters. So many people were posting nonstop about one night stands, friends with benefits, fucking their boyfriends/girlfriends, wanting to fuck this one guy or that one girl... Fucking. Blew. My. Fucking. Mind. My reality was completely shattered. This was happening all along, and I had no idea... I actually thought it was awesome, but I thought it sucked how I was sheltered from it for so long.
I was amused at first, but then I started getting frustrated. It seemed like everyone was getting laid, yet I still hadn't had a single opportunity. Eventually, I ended up finding this forum and started reading and posting here.
At this point, I hear about things regarding sex and women, and my life just shows me the contrary. People tell me, "Getting laid is easy", and life shows me that getting laid is hard. People say that women are sex fiends and want sex more than men, and life shows me that women aren't that interested in sex. It's like there's some funky law of attraction thing going on. I keep attracting the sexless life that I've always lived. I'm not going to lie, even though I am aware that women desire sex, I've latched onto this notion that Asian women are asexual because my experiences have shown me this. What sucks is that the majority of women that jock me are Asian...
And that's my life story regarding sex y'all.