Yesterday at 3am was my birthday.
At 1pm, I started drinking and hanging out for my birthday. This was the most stressful birthday I have ever had.
Up until 8pm, my birthday was going great. My little brother couldn't join me because my mother said he couldn't. I was going to have one of my family members drop him off. It is a good thing she decided otherwise.
By 10pm, the arcade had closed. I was still drinking at the bar. Three women, older than me, decided to hit on me, HEAVILY. The first woman took a late bow out of the competition. She wanted me subconsciously. The other two women wanted me consciously. The first woman was hitting on me so hard asking if I was gaming her like it was some PUA shit that I thought she was trying to steal my identity, SERIOUSLY. The second woman was with her significant other and ready to leave him at the drop of hat for me, both older women. Truth be told, all the women were older than me. I was actually scared for my safety. The more that I showed that I wasn't trying to spit game the more they hit on me. The oldest woman offered me her daughter while simultaneously pressing her tits into my arms and hands. I graciously offered my number for the younger daughter for the simple fact that the man she was with is likely to be gone in the near future.
The other woman, whom I was afraid would steal my identity, decided that she should bogart my time and attention. It was so surreal to watch the guy that I bought a shot for walk the girl out and talk about how he was so indifferent. She even said we could make out, but she told me earlier that she had a boyfriend somewhere in the bar. I was to be totally honest, FREAKED THE FUCK OUT.
I didn't want confrontation. At some point, she came to conclusion that I was gaming her. I don't know how. I didn't deny a thing. I told her the honest truth. We even discussed at length how I might be autistic because I wasn't hitting on her.
Surreal is the word for today. Everything about the experience was surreal. I've been in the college bars training with the women who could give two fucks less than a fuck on a shit stick about me. I was not expecting anything. Truth be told, my whole goal was to have as much fun as possible for my birthday while going to bar. I don't know if I've made it clear how weirded out I was. I thought the younger woman, identity thief extraordinaire, was trying to offer me a job at first, which I was eager to jump at. She really needed to think that I was gaming her on some level. I guess.
At the end of the night, when I rap up all the fun, people I know are telling me my cab is about to leave. We head towards my house. Halfway there, the cab driver tells me that he needs to pick up some strippers. Seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree because they supposedly gave him a better tip than usual. He tells me to get in the front, which sets off alarm bells because I won't be able to see what they are doing without doing a 360. He has all the bells and whistles of a cab driver that usually picks me up from the bar except that he is the same skin color as me. He sets off another alarm bell when he claims that he needs to get gas except that he stops at the gas station and doesn't get gas. I'm totally weirded out at this point and realize it was a bad idea to prostrate myself so the cab driver could get more money. It was a mobile gas station to say the least. I suspect that he was planning to smoke with them, but their narcissistic personalities couldn't help but be drawn to my sense of ambition and achievement, which created a deafening hush in the car ride for the last five miles. I still have to wait to see if everything was above board with the cabby.I don't think I'm ready to date because of these crazy men and women.
I'm taking a vow of celibacy.
