Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:08 pm 
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Hey guys, currently been going out with a girl for a bit over a year. I'm 21, at university and she's my first proper girlfriend and I'm her first proper boyfriend. She even lost her virginity to me. Thing is I love her but not sure if I am in love with her (even though we've both said it we love each other many times). She's definitely my best friend, and we both have the same circle of friends at uni.

Anyway, I've been thinking about ending it with but just not sure of the repercussions. I have this desire to be single and meet other girls, not to get in a relationship but honestly just for some fun. I'm going into my last year at uni and I don't want to look back and think I was just with this one girl the whole time. Another thing is her religious background is different from mine. This may not matter to some of you but it does to me and my family. I'm from south asia where marriage is not just about 2 people coming together, it is about 2 families, for better or for worse. Disregarding my family, me personally I would like to marry a woman from the same religion (please do not try and convince me otherwise, just how I am). You may be thinking why am I thinking bout marriage now, but honestly how can I not when things start getting serious, obviously I'm going to think about the future. I don't enjoy getting into serious things just for the jokes n giggles.

I know its all purely selfish reasons and I hate to break a woman's heart, it really is a bad feeling. I also know that being single does not mean I'm going to become some casanova who can pull girls daily at clubs/wherever. Moreover I worry about what all my friends, the same friends she has as I mentioned earlier, will think of me? I get this feeling they'll think I just used her for a year, had my fun and then dumped which is entirely untrue. They might also think why I ended it as there are no issues between us 2, she's an amazing girl but I feel at this young age I just need to be single. Not to even mentioned the awkwardness and social tension there probably will be when all us friends and her meet up. I asked my friend for advice and she told me why not just stay with her till uni finishes and see then but to me this just seems like you're getting deeper into the relationship making it even harder to end then.

She really is my best friend so its going really hard losing that, obviously I will try and keep the friendship there but as we all know its much harder for women, especially if i'm the one ending it. This may all sound like some immature situation to you guys so need your advice please. Be as brutally honest as you want please.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:13 pm 
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What are you specifically asking advice for?
All advice I read is, what your friends would think of you if you dump her?... That's not asking advice on girlfriend, you're instead asking advice on managing your reputation.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:24 pm 
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First; tell the truth boldly to yourself.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 9:52 pm 
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Jared wrote:
First; tell the truth boldly to yourself.
This

This again

Read it again, just to make sure.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 1:53 am 
The above captured the vast majority of what needs to be done.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2014 1:05 pm 
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amr wrote:
I've been thinking about ending it
That says something does it not?.
amr wrote:
not sure of the repercussions.
Irrelevant.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 23, 2014 4:12 pm 
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What Alchemist said, besides you are not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own. If she wasn't happy she would leave you.

Marriage is an exceedingly bad idea today. I understand the tendancy to think long term. We all do it.
Kidd!! said he wasn't opposed to it given the right conditions. Unless you have a plan to keep your assets off the books (not prenup because they don't work). It really isn't worth it, unless you want to hand someone a metaphorical gun and hope they don't shoot you.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 8:37 am 
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amr wrote:
she's an amazing girl but I feel at this young age I just need to be single.
And why is that?


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