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 Post subject: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 6:56 am 
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Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
So my wife and I separated about a year and a half ago which got me started on this whole self improvement kick. We didn't have a bad relationship, just didn't agree on certain things and were too close minded to work it out together. Recently she texted me early in the morning to ask me how I felt about our relationship... Are we still on break or are we getting a divorce? I told her that I think we gave up too easily to not try again, but that I felt the feeling was gone because we have grown so distant. She called me and we talked for a good minute.

She said that she would be open to working on our relationship if I was. She also told me that she has a girlfriend who she lives with and who is also who asked her questions that she says got her thinking about how things were with me. I told her I was open to work things out but I am in no rush. So we start reminiscing together and it was started. She has been calling me on her lunch break everyday for the last 2 weeks.

So she calls me today to chat and I find out that not only is she with this girl, but she is also with her husband in a three way relationship!!! That shocked me because she resisted hard when I would even suggest things like that. I called her back later to talk more about it. I told her that I wanted to do things like that when we were together but she acted like it was outlandish. And just me trying to discuss it would cause arguments and eventually me deciding to leave before I got trapped in an unfulfilling marriage. Now we're apart and she's doing exactly what she was so against with someone else. I said that if we were gonna try to bee together for the rest of our lives, I would like to know you are open to exploring things like that with me. She said that she wouldnt do it the same way but would try something like it. She also said that the way I talked about it made her insecure as if thats all I thought about (and I admit it was,) and that sometimes you have to just let things happen. She said she is a different person now and that her mind is more open.

I must admit that after dealing with the women I have been recently, I wouldn't mind working things out with my wife. but as I told her, I don't want the cookie cutter image of a marriage that we tried to make the first time. I want to adventure and try unorthodox things with her. I feel as if I am really following my heart but i don't know if I'm moving back into it too fast. I haven't done much of the work that is talked about here so I don't know if i'm setting myself up for failure or not. I would like to continue on my path to pimptightness while keeping my family together. I would like to hear you guys' insight on my situation so i can consider everything I haven't yet.

I'm not that experienced having alot of women since I got married so young ( I'm 25 now) so sometimes I think about what I might miss out on especially after reading here but I would rather not go through divorce if I can make it work. This woman has my only child and is nothing like most of the entitled women of our own generation.

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Mind Your Wants 'Cause Someone Wants Your Mind! -Sugafree

If You Ain't The Shit To You Then Who Are You The Shit To??? -Sugafree


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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:14 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:54 am
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Location: Levelling up.
Live your life. Explore your options. Take in new experiences.

Can you do that whilst married, or are you going to have to be dragging someone along all the time.

Ask why you got married in the first place.


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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 5:19 pm 
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Ask why she would be so against a threesome with you but okay with her friends husband....there are some variables that have changed. :geek:

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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 5:23 pm 
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with all that you said has happened, you gave in too too easily :cry:

...and because of the idea of a 3 way, which she point blankly told you won't go down like it does with the other couple, note that if it does happen, you wont have much say in the activities.

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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:06 pm 
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Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Leo wrote:
Live your life. Explore your options. Take in new experiences.

Can you do that whilst married, or are you going to have to be dragging someone along all the time.

Ask why you got married in the first place.
I intend to live to the fullest. I feel as though Im pimp enough to live with the descision I made and at least putting my all into it before I close the book. If her and I can have different kinds of fun together, I will not feel like any time was wasted. Plus with Marquee value on my side and me being a tattoo artist Im sure if it doesnt work out I will be fine. I have spent plenty time alone before her and recently. I cant lie, when we were young she was really pushing the issue of marriage especially after I got her pregnant. Like a symp I made that move because I thought it was the right thing to do. However I had a great relationship with her and she aint never been a lazy bitch. She is a great mother and we make a good team.
Altair wrote:
Ask why she would be so against a threesome with you but okay with her friends husband....there are some variables that have changed. :geek:
It's not that she's against threesomes with me. She was when we were together before. I just got off the phone with her again and she said that its not the sex she's against, Its bringing a third party into our relationship that she doesnt want to do. She said that if im curious about that I should try it with someone else before we get together. I'm sure after we split, she opened up sexually with other people and learned that its okay to explore different options. I'm fine with that because before, she was stuck on the cookie cutter idea of a marriage that i was against.
Sai wrote:
with all that you said has happened, you gave in too too easily :cry:

...and because of the idea of a 3 way, which she point blankly told you won't go down like it does with the other couple, note that if it does happen, you wont have much say in the activities.
Her and I are not together yet. I only opened our line of communication. She is still in that situation and im just getting information from her before i give her the word. We both agreed that we need to work on our friendship and get comfortable first. We had grown far apart emotionally so Im just building that back up. I still have the option to back out if i want to stay single. If Im thinking correctly, she is trying to keep her hand on the branch shes got while reaching for the one im on. she wants to know that Im ready to be with her faithfully. In our conversation today, I told her that I may need more time to explore especially after learnig about her situation. She is fine with that and just wants to work on communication between the two of us. It may sound like she has the power but nothing is solid yet. as far as threesomes go, I think she is completly open to it after talking it all out, to the point where we dont need to talk about it anymore. She made it clear that shes down. I hope you're wrong Sai about me having any say. I have always been dominant with her. we have been homeless together locked up together and much more. I hope You guys got a clearer picture of whats going on now.

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Mind Your Wants 'Cause Someone Wants Your Mind! -Sugafree

If You Ain't The Shit To You Then Who Are You The Shit To??? -Sugafree


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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:18 pm 
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#1 there were reasons you two split up.. Has that changed?
Will those reasons still be there and resurface later?

#2 Is there a good reason to try again?

#3 What is your gut telling you?

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:32 pm 
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#1 ARE? you? happy?

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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:05 pm 
Phaero wrote:
So she calls me today to chat and I find out that not only is she with this girl, but she is also with her husband in a three way relationship!!! That shocked me because she resisted hard when I would even suggest things like that. I called her back later to talk more about it. I told her that I wanted to do things like that when we were together but she acted like it was outlandish. And just me trying to discuss it would cause arguments and eventually me deciding to leave before I got trapped in an unfulfilling marriage. Now we're apart and she's doing exactly what she was so against with someone else. I said that if we were gonna try to bee together for the rest of our lives, I would like to know you are open to exploring things like that with me. She said that she wouldnt do it the same way but would try something like it. She also said that the way I talked about it made her insecure as if thats all I thought about (and I admit it was,) and that sometimes you have to just let things happen. She said she is a different person now and that her mind is more open.
The underlined and bolded parts made me angry. I had a feeling she wasn't treating you the same way.

I don't know why that first line and the ensuing parts angered me, but I'm guessing it has something to do with unresolved issues about the red pill, not being able to see another woman with another man or woman. :?:

But something in there is a red flag man.
Altair wrote:
Ask why she would be so against a threesome with you but okay with her friends husband....there are some variables that have changed. :geek:
I feel (or sense) that she is doing something to get back at him, but it could be all in my head. It just feels like this is a well constructed ploy to gain his favor because she mentioned something about him making her feel insecurity towards three ways. Note: divorce was on her mind.
Sai wrote:
with all that you said has happened, you gave in too too easily :cry:

...and because of the idea of a 3 way, which she point blankly told you won't go down like it does with the other couple, note that if it does happen, you wont have much say in the activities.
Evidence that this is meant to hurt him psychologically?
peregrinus wrote:
#1 there were reasons you two split up.. Has that changed?
Will those reasons still be there and resurface later?

#2 Is there a good reason to try again?

#3 What is your gut telling you?
I would also add as food for thought that if she was so unconcerned about adding a third party into your relationship then why did she hop in the sack with TWO different people?

Last, from your response, Phaero, to what has been said in the thread, you sound like you are putting in A LOT OF WORK. Why? Either you or she decided on the break. I forget who, but that's important. If you decided on the break then you shouldn't be putting in near as much as you are right now IF ANY. 8-)

Sure she's calling you, but the psychological machinations in your second post tell me that you are leaking a lot of information about where you stand rather than listening to what she is telling you.

I just get the feeling that if you go back with her as things are right now things won't end peaceably.


P.S. What ever happened to girl that took you out to Olive Garden? She was DOING a lot for you.


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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:42 am 
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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:32 pm 
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Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
peregrinus wrote:
#1 there were reasons you two split up.. Has that changed?
Will those reasons still be there and resurface later?

#2 Is there a good reason to try again?

#3 What is your gut telling you?
#1 We split because I decided I wasn't ready to put my all into being with her. I felt like I was missing out on my young life trying to take care of her and my daughter. She did her part but I was too full of lust for women I saw daily. I was also torn because I didn't want to be a cheater. So I told her I need a break. Truthfully, I still feel the same way. I haven't been able to live the way I want to yet. While Her and I have been cordial for our daughter, We have lost the connection we use to share over time. I think I may have gotten over-excited that she wanted to connect again. If I was to jump back in it with her I would still wonder what I could be doing.

#2 It would be nice to give my daughter a healthy family setting to grow up in. It would also be nice to be with my wife with a more mature mindset.

#3 When I read this question the first thought I get is "I'm not ready yet."
Jared wrote:
#1 ARE? you? happy?
#1 I am a generally happy person but not as happy within as I know I can be.
Slim Titan wrote:
The underlined and bolded parts made me angry. I had a feeling she wasn't treating you the same way.

I don't know why that first line and the ensuing parts angered me, but I'm guessing it has something to do with unresolved issues about the red pill, not being able to see another woman with another man or woman. :?:

But something in there is a red flag man.
These things made me angry and real jealous at first but I realized soon after that I could be doing the same things. What bothered me was that she wanted me to treat her like a nun almost then she goes exploring on her own, and now it seems she wants to still be seen as a nun. I don't think I can be faithful to a girl who wont do things with me that she will do with others and even tell me about it. Thinking more clearly now. definitely a red flag.
Quote:
I feel (or sense) that she is doing something to get back at him, but it could be all in my head. It just feels like this is a well constructed ploy to gain his favor because she mentioned something about him making her feel insecurity towards three ways. Note: divorce was on her mind.
By him do you mean me? If so I think you may be partially right. She says her feelings for me never went away and she was heartbroken so she went out looking for something like what we had. I think she put herself in that situation to make me jealous enough to immediately want to do something about it. she also said that when she was being a bitch, it was because she thought it would make me try harder to get her back. It only pushed me farther away.

Quote:
I would also add as food for thought that if she was so unconcerned about adding a third party into your relationship then why did she hop in the sack with TWO different people?
That's why I always pushed the issue with her. When we first met, she told me she had been with girls. I figured she was already open to things like that but she insisted otherwise I guess so she could have her "happily ever after"
Quote:
Last, from your response, Phaero, to what has been said in the thread, you sound like you are putting in A LOT OF WORK. Why? Either you or she decided on the break. I forget who, but that's important. If you decided on the break then you shouldn't be putting in near as much as you are right now IF ANY. 8-)

Sure she's calling you, but the psychological machinations in your second post tell me that you are leaking a lot of information about where you stand rather than listening to what she is telling you.

I just get the feeling that if you go back with her as things are right now things won't end peaceably.


P.S. What ever happened to girl that took you out to Olive Garden? She was DOING a lot for you.
I know I leaked a whole lot. I wont go into detail but I got pretty emotional talking to her a few times. She did say we don't have to be together to have a good relationship and raise our daughter. Ima just give her some space and continue worrying about myself. The other girl stopped calling because I was too staunch. I thought she was playing games trying to get me to pay for shit. she just seemed like she was being sneaky kinda like my wife. Funny the graduated the same high school. lol

@The Kidd :o If that's how you feel, maybe I should pay more attention.

This situation almost reminds me of this thread:viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2250
Lucky Its not so extreme but Ill never put anything past this woman again.

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Mind Your Wants 'Cause Someone Wants Your Mind! -Sugafree

If You Ain't The Shit To You Then Who Are You The Shit To??? -Sugafree


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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:53 pm 
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Dude, she's a hypocrite, reminds me of the bullshit my ex used to say, not those exact words but the way she said things, manipulative and straight up garbage when you really think about it. She even tried to make rules for 'next time' after she fucked up our first (and only) 3some and I promptly put my foot down, I wasn't as quick on the trigger in other areas but now I know that any level of hypocrisy should never be taken lightly.

Fuck her, it's too late for a healthy family, that much is clear and you're headed for a world of shit if you stay with her. From the sounds of things you are definitely not dominant in this situation and you need a heavier dose of the red pill.

The bullshit she's feeding you isn't just a red flag, IT'S A RED FUCKING COUNTRY :evil:

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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:28 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:54 am
Posts: 411
Location: Levelling up.
Just cos she's in a three way with someone elses husband, doesn't mean she should want to be in one with her own.

But three ways are really the least of your concern here. I'd cut ties stat, before you find yourself 20 yrs down the line unfullfilled.


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 Post subject: Re: My Wife and I
PostPosted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:59 am 
Quote:
she just seemed like she was being sneaky kinda like my wife
Bingo! I thought something might surface if we talked about that other situation.

I have a hypothesis that we choose similar people (women that choose us) all of the time until we come to fully understand ourselves.

Red flag mang. You still have some blue pill thoughts clouding your mind about your wife. Think about it. If you got so heated about that other woman that actually took you out to eat and invested in you and she reminds you of your wife then what does that say about your wife.

You have some deep seeded unrequited feelings regarding your wife. In tandem, those unrequited feelings surfaced that you have about women in general when you were dealing with that Olive Garden woman.
Quote:
Truthfully, I still feel the same way. I haven't been able to live the way I want to yet.
Alternatively, you may not have unrequited feelings towards your wife, but I'm sure. If it's not the case then you have unrequited feelings about women in general.

Also, I guess I was still thinking and talking more to myself by using the word "him" rather than actually talking to you. However, what I said is conjecture. You have to confirm it for yourself. Also, it may have been that I was talking in response to another person in the thread as I quoted multiple people.


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