Hello, bretheren
Where to begin? Lol, the last four months have been a bit of a circus to say the least, been across three provinces and haven't had a place to live in that time just been staying in hotels like a true gyspy going where the work is, everything I own fits in two duffel bags... so that's pretty awesome.
There were a lot of factors and poor decisions on my part mostly to do with ignoring my gut and not giving enough of a fuck to pay attention to peoples motives. But I digress, backtracking.
So last winter I worked on a site, was getting ready to quit and they convinced me to stay said I would get good training and move up quickly...worked for me because the idea of having to go to school and not have a paycheck kinda sucked. The fundamental underlying principal was the most capable person got the job, fair enough suits my INTJ tendencies perfectly. The company promised the contractor (we were the contractor) it was only gonna be a 8 week seasonal layoff but it turned into 8 months...and I'm thinking well this sucks but at least a bunch of people will probably quit and I'll get the opportunity. We get back and the site foreman goes on a rampage playing the whole your not working hard enough every fucking day...and better still I am being told I cannot do my current job so how can I ever hope to learn the next one. Which is funny because on every single site I went to over the summer they pretty much begged me to stay. So I am looking for a way out obviously to plan a new angle.
The room mate situation is less than ideal, he decided to buy a Great Dane and we were living in a small apartment so that was a super "smrt" idea. Pretty much keeping the filter on what is going on in my brain for this situation too many variables at work need to be calculated.
I met someone on another one of the sites over the summer and he helped me repair my truck for free, so I bought beers. Initial reads, seems to be negative, flit from job to job seems nice to me though haven't seen him talking to any other people doesn't look like he has a lot of friends.
The dog trashes the house, I am told it's my fault....I tell him to go fuck his hat and start looking for a place to live talk to some friends they're waiting for someone to move out in a month and they'll have a place then so low and behold the guy who helped me with my truck we'll call him Fred is the only one who has a room. In my mind I'm thinking....fuck got a bad feeling...fuck it.
A week later he tells me he is looking for someone to fill a position, don't really wanna work for him but I know when I am at my limit and I was gonna start snapping at work so I take it...worst case I'll do it for the winter and then have enough experience to do something else.
I'm upfront with him, I want the job here's the things I don't know can I be trained on the job? Yep no prob....good enough then. The night before he tells me that he told them I had already worked the position before (What.A.Fucking.Tool) so that's super exciting. And I am definitely committed to it at this point I was so uncomfortable with it I quit after a couple weeks. My decision at this point to go back to school is solidified tired of all the crap. He decides to have a drink after work one day...and he was a recovering alcoholic...right on!
He has no friends basically and thinks I am his friend, so I bullshit him superbly tell him I am staying the winter when I was only planning on another month or so. He's angry drunk all the time, and I'm listen to him whine about the fact I like my time alone to recharge. I can leave but it's much more convenient to stay here because the rent is so cheap and I need the money for school.
The breaking point is when he comes back hammered with a random guy he decided to be friends with, he wants me to drive him somewhere and I politely inform him that I will not be leaving my stuff around a random. He starts talking about "smashing skulls" I don't even respond just go and start packing my stuff, really have no interest in beaking off when it's 3 on 1 if anything happens it's gonna be me acting first being excessive and explaining myself later.
Anywho, get a job the next day and start saving the rest of what I need for school. Lessons learned or reinforced?
When it comes to work trust no one.
Always rely on your gut.
Bad decisions have a way of snowballing and before you know it is a HUGE clusterfuck.
Avoid people with no friends, there's probably a reason.
Yes, after a while situations become very routine but still pay attention even if it's boring.
Some of these parts played themselves out, but a lot just comes down to not caring enough to pay attention and make good decisions.
But there is an upside, my applications are already in for university and I shall hopefully be returning to my hometown for school I'm heading there now to finish upgrading, one of the best geology programs is there.
I am still off the market as far as the whole women thing goes, I might go out from time to time to spar a bit. But the next six months are gonna be like the Super Gravity chamber for reals, I'm gonna push myself intellectually harder than I have before. With not working outside 12+ hours a day my mind will not be so dull and I will be able to focus more energy on my pursuits. Boxing will also be included in order to get exercise, and compliment the healthy body/healthy mind connection.
Almost 23 now, time slips away so quickly as Morpheus said "time is always against us Neo". Back in October of 2012 when I first began to truly began to solidify my mind underwent some massive changes almost overnight it seemed like a dam had been released and all this excess emotional energy had nowhere to go but out. The same thing is happening now, and I'm still trying to sort out everything that is happening, the future is uncertain and the victory is unassured which is perfect.
I live for those moments when I am pushed to my limits to find they're not where I thought they were, I am returning to ground zero in a few days to where I was when I discovered the forum almost three years ago and the changes that have taken place in that time have been crazy, and I am just getting started. Rising from the ashes of my mistakes and complacency
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