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 Post subject: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 10:17 pm 
We met at the bar when I talked to her mother.

All the girls have had children young.

All the girls like me, except one who fronts on me so hardcore it's a sure bet that if I was richer and older that she would've sucked my dick on site.

I won't go into all the details, but there was a slight mishap where I didn't say good bye to the one I'm interested in and her daughter.

The cook, her uncle, was mad. Afterwards, I tell them why. She had sent her daughter to do recon on me instead of speaking to me like she usually does. Of course, they don't believe me when I say that the mom and her daughter like me......want to fuck me. My recon with one of the bouncers later tells me that she is a Mormon and is messed up in the head. Of course, I don't believe him.

Fast forward to this past Saturday, it's been months since she's seen me.

Her, "Nice jacket."

Me, "Are those new tattoos?"

The bartender, who also wants her, is telling the Saturday female bartender that I fucked up and how.

It's getting louder in the bar. So, she moves her head closer.

I let her vent about getting laid off from the construction crew that is building a new library at my school. Then I tell her that it sounds like she's taking her anger out on me. She laughs and takes the time to stroke my arm for about 8 inches down, while touching my leg at the same time.

Keep in mind, I'm still facing the bar. She's directly facing me. She's been nursing her almost empty beer for the last 30 minutes.

A guy and girl keep pushing up against us. She's in a protective position that I really didn't notice until she got very catty with the both of them. Something to the effect of find someone else. Her feet were resting on the rungs of my stool. Keep in mind I'm facing the bar.

We almost kiss at least six times. I would have kissed her if I didn't have doubts in my mind from when I talked to her uncle. Talking the game is like talking astrophysics to a wino. The bartender and the cook are thoroughly in the matrix. It was bad for me to even take what they said as worth a grain of salt.

Then she gets up and says that she's going to say good bye to the bouncers and come around and say, "hi" to me. You catch that because I didn't at first.

About 15 minutes pass, and I'm starting to think she ditched me like a college girl would. So, I have to confirm my suspicions that I'm right that she's being true to me.

It's snowing outside. There aren't any fresh tracks in the snow which means no one has moved from the back to the front. You would see the heavy boot print of someone walking, but instead you see the sliding marks of old footprints.

I finish my beer and head to the back because I'm sure that we're leaving together. Man, I tell you I didn't even feel butterflies for the last girl that I posted about on here. Here I am feeling like a 15 year old kid about to go on a date with a girl for the first time.

I open the door to the back after having a cigarette where she could see me. Once inside, the bouncer in the back, along with her, and I have a conversation about bikes. I can't really keep up. He says some matrix shit that I don't know how to respond to and it feels like I don't belong in the conversation. Without looking at anyone in particular, I raise my shoulders and start to back out to the back again with the intention of walking around into the front to get another beer. It's so packed that you don't want to walk through the middle of the crowd.

She immediately makes a b-line for me opening the door for both of us.

Her, "Let me warm up my car."

Me, "You mind if I get a ride back to my dorm?"

Her, "Sure."

We get in the car, and I'm racking my brain about a play that I have to get her to come inside with me. I've already asked her back to my place twice now and got turned down. I already showed her one of the cards in my hand already. She said, "I always see you when I come to the bar. Do you come here a lot?" I tell her, "Maybe you're just lucky. I stop in a few days of the week to grab a beer, but I'm rarely here tonight this late on a Saturday." She kicked some mess to me about me being lucky. Then she changed her statement to me being lucky when I get to Canada. My cloaking wasn't that great on that one.

She stops at the top of the street because some pedestrians are throwing snowballs.

She hasn't looked at me once.

Then we park in front of my dorm the floodgates open. She says you're leaving soon right? I say, "Yes, I'm leaving..."

Her: "After graduation"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "We can meet and see each other at the bar."

(Earlier she told me she comes in on Sunday. The bar is closed then. So she said Monday. That's the day she comes in......or really wants me to come in.)

Her: You're graduating. Do a lot of people come to graduation?

Me: Yes. For some of the black students a lot of extended family comes.

Her: Well, I'll come to your graduation! :)

(I forgot what else she said that told me she was ready for something to move us forward.)

She looks down at my lips twice. I immediately stick my finger under her chin and move forward to kiss her. We kiss and then she thanks me.

I should have known that was the time to stop, but I moved back in for a second kiss. She kisses me again.

I ask her if she wants to come inside and she tells me everything she has to do tomorrow. She doesn't tell me when I can see her again.

Three strikes. She's giving me a lot of resistance.

However, she's 39 and looks 28. She's by far the best looking woman I've ever kissed or talked to without barring age.

She did ask me if I had her number. I said yes because I thought I did. However there was so much space between us that I deleted her number. She specifically said, "your number hasn't changed has it?" After we kiss.

The next day when I sober up. I had to text her first because I had to find her number to identify her because I don't respond to text's or calls from numbers that I don't know unless I'm looking for a job. Plus, my phone is due to be shut off soon, and I have to let her know if that happens.

All in all this turning out to be the most difficult woman to convert, but I'm not putting in a lot of work either.

Never once has she mentioned the age thing.

My gut tells me that she's just not sure about me. There's something she's insecure about, but it deals with her.

I think she's afraid that I'll leave her after our last conversation, after we kissed, after one night of sex.

It doesn't make sense because she has a lot of guys barking up her tree. She's very fit. She does construction and has a body better than most 20 something year old women.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:19 pm 
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Slim Titan wrote:
All in all this turning out to be the most difficult woman to convert, but I'm not putting in a lot of work either.
In my mind, reading this, you are.

Now tell me how and tell me the clues you missed in what you posted above.

Also the points at which what you said/did - did your cause harm rather than help.

--

Why do I get the feeling that this:
Slim Titan wrote:
My gut tells me that she's just not sure about me. There's something she's insecure about, but it deals with her.
Is pure projection.

--
Edit: Ok, a clue:
Slim Titan wrote:
She immediately makes a b-line for me opening the door for both of us.

Her, "Let me warm up my car."

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:31 pm 
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You want something from her and she can smell it.
Looks like you've been filling space, instead of giving it.
You don't NEED her. Give her the chance to WANT you. And Slim, she WANTS you, but you got to ease off that throttle. Start being a TITAN! ;)

You mentioned asking her to come back to your place TWICE, why?
She said no once, now leave it up to her to make it happen after that. It seems like she will if you ALLOW her too.

I'm wondering if you want to fuck this chick more cause of ego & validation, or cause of a natural desire. Probably a mixture of both.

Some food for thought.
The Kidd!! wrote:
2) The one that cares the least is the leader of the relationship. Write that one down!
peregrinus wrote:
The person with the most investment has the weaker position.
The person with the least investment has the stronger position.
(said this before on here)


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:45 am 
peregrinus wrote:
Slim Titan wrote:
All in all this turning out to be the most difficult woman to convert, but I'm not putting in a lot of work either.
In my mind, reading this, you are.

Now tell me how and tell me the clues you missed in what you posted above.

Also the points at which what you said/did - did your cause harm rather than help.

--
1. Telling the cook and bartender about my business

2. Not facing her when she was facing me

3. Not kissing her even when I could tell she wanted to be kissed earlier

4. Asking twice about her coming back to see me

5. Maybe getting in the car with her? I should have let it be.

6. Definitely moving in a second time to kiss her.

7. Definitely asking her a third time to come inside after she already said no twice.

Did I get them all?


Why do I get the feeling that this:
Slim Titan wrote:
My gut tells me that she's just not sure about me. There's something she's insecure about, but it deals with her.
Is pure projection.

It probably deals with me then. :oops:

--
Edit: Ok, a clue:
Slim Titan wrote:
She immediately makes a b-line for me opening the door for both of us.

Her, "Let me warm up my car."
This was bad?
Could you give me some more hints to help me if I haven't figured it out yet?


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:50 am 
TheDude wrote:
You want something from her and she can smell it.
Looks like you've been filling space, instead of giving it.

DAMN RIGHT I WANT THAT PUSSY! :lol:
I'M NOT ASHAMED OF IT EITHER!

Also, she texted me asking me why I wanted her to call.

I left her hanging until THIS PAST SATURDAY!


I'm wondering if you want to fuck this chick more cause of ego & validation, or cause of a natural desire. Probably a mixture of both.

No, ego validation here. That's something you're placing on me. I just want to fuck her because she looks good, has a sweet voice, and is nice as fuck to me! :P



Some food for thought.
The Kidd!! wrote:
2) The one that cares the least is the leader of the relationship. Write that one down!
peregrinus wrote:
The person with the most investment has the weaker position.
The person with the least investment has the stronger position.
(said this before on here)
In my opinion, it's been a seesaw situation for the power. I didn't include the two text conversations that we had. One that I initiated, and then one that she initiated.

Either way, I left her hanging for months because it didn't seem like things were going to work out.



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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:57 am 
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Spend more time focusing on her rather than yourself, your thinking how can I fuck her when what should be going through your head is just paying attention without expectation.

You still lack patience, if not tonight oh well there will be other nights...you shouldn't be asking her more than once I would just be like want to come inside for a minute? and if she says no I would never bring it up again...she wouldn't forget just give it time....it's weird how the gears work in their brain and we don't really need to understand it just accept it and do your own thing until the time comes...if it comes.

Spend some time on the clue, the answer should jump right out at you. :geek:

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 4:08 am 
Altair wrote:
Spend more time focusing on her rather than yourself, your thinking how can I fuck her when what should be going through your head is just paying attention without expectation.

You still lack patience, if not tonight oh well there will be other nights...you shouldn't be asking her more than once I would just be like want to come inside for a minute? and if she says no I would never bring it up again...she wouldn't forget just give it time....it's weird how the gears work in their brain and we don't really need to understand it just accept it and do your own thing until the time comes...if it comes.

Spend some time on the clue, the answer should jump right out at you. :geek:
I re-read the clue and read where I posted and said out loud to myself, laughing, that she wants to come inside.

Maybe, I should have just relaxed in the car. Kissed her once and chilled out.

If that's not the answer then I definitely shouldn't have gotten in the car with her.

However, I need to change into some boots and that's why I justified asking for a ride back. I was in running shoes and it was snowing.

Edit: truth be told. Fucking her in the car crossed my mind more than once. I also didn't see her in the bar today, Monday. I looked in around 7pm. I'll go have a look see now if that's the case.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:22 am 
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You shouldn't be ashamed either.
I would give her some space, be it days or months, it doesn't matter because I'll be doing my own-thing anyways. And if she does decide to come around, then I'll know it's a done deal.
Altair wrote:
Spend more time focusing on her rather than yourself, your thinking how can I fuck her when what should be going through your head is just paying attention without expectation.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:07 am 
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Location: The side of a mountain somewhere...
Altair wrote:
you shouldn't be asking her more than once I would just be like want to come inside for a minute? and if she says no I would never bring it up again...she wouldn't forget just give it time....it's weird how the gears work in their brain and we don't really need to understand it just accept it and do your own thing until the time comes...if it comes.
This. ^^ Plant seeds, let them grow for a bit. Don't worry if the don't sprout immediately. And clearly she is into you, this one is probably going to sprout soon. Its not like you need to wait months and months.

Other than that Slim - I just want to say congrats. Thinking back to your posts from late spring/early summer, you clearly have made a lot of progress. You're not totally satisfied with where you're at yet, which is fine - there probably are smaller calibrations you could make to improve - but definitely pause for a moment to appreciate where you've come from. 8-)

_________________
"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:49 am 
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I spoke too soon and too fast. My bad slim. I'm still learning and experimenting. Excuse me, I'm off to-do some push ups.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:28 pm 
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Slim Titan wrote:
We get in the car, and I'm racking my brain about a play that I have to get her to come inside with me.
If she's clearly jock'n you then telling her to come here to kiss you is fine, no need to go spec-ops and think of some elaborate indirect excuse to retain your power, you already have it if she's showing interest. If she refuses then she's a tease and you should be done with her. You over-analyze shit and are too attached.
Slim Titan wrote:
I've already asked her back to my place twice now and got turned down.
Drop her, there's many many lovely ladies out there that will make it easy for you, no need to waste time on some headcase just for your ego's sake.

_________________
The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 4:36 pm 
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Slim Titan wrote:
I'm racking my brain about a play that I have to get her to come inside with me.

All in all this turning out to be the most difficult woman to convert,
Quote:
but I'm not putting in a lot of work either.
Oh really.
Quote:
It doesn't make sense because she has a lot of guys barking up her tree. She's very fit. She does construction and has a body better than most 20 something year old women.
I have never once seen, let alone encountered a female construction worker. Is that common in America?


P.S - Next time try refrain from drinking, so that you can actually have some control over your senses.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 5:27 pm 
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Slim Titan wrote:
In my opinion, it's been a seesaw situation for the power.
Any power 'battle' is purely in your head. With yourself.
Slim Titan wrote:
However, I need to change into some boots and that's why I justified asking for a ride back. I was in running shoes and it was snowing.
Why? Were you going to walk somewhere?

She was going to drive you somewhere.
Slim Titan wrote:
I've already asked her back to my place twice now and got turned down.
There is a lesson in this quote and it is not the one you think it is.

See above, and the clue I gave:
Slim Titan wrote:
She immediately makes a b-line for me opening the door for both of us.

Her, "Let me warm up my car."

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:01 pm 
Grinus, old buddy, it seems like she was like NOT NOW. If that's the case, then she just wanted me to be cool and spend some time with her outside of her car.

Edit: Yes, I was planning on walking somewhere later, back to the bar to pay my bill after our interaction ended :)

@ Leo:
Leo wrote:
P.S - Next time try refrain from drinking, so that you can actually have some control over your senses.
I'll drink as I please. :P
Star_Above wrote:
Slim Titan wrote:
We get in the car, and I'm racking my brain about a play that I have to get her to come inside with me.
If she's clearly jock'n you then telling her to come here to kiss you is fine, no need to go spec-ops and think of some elaborate indirect excuse to retain your power, you already have it if she's showing interest. If she refuses then she's a tease and you should be done with her. You over-analyze shit and are too attached.
Slim Titan wrote:
I've already asked her back to my place twice now and got turned down.
Drop her, there's many many lovely ladies out there that will make it easy for you, no need to waste time on some headcase just for your ego's sake.
Good points. I don't think she's a headcase though, and it's definitely not about my ego. That last statement you made seems really staunch though too.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:05 am 
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Posts: 104
In this interaction, objectively, who seems to be calling the shots?

Who's needs are being met?

Why is this?

As always, analyze for you, not for us.

Finally, grinus's clue has much weight to it. Don't overlook, just ponder

Last note:

Historically, what do we know about older women?

They've been around the block, they know how to operate to get what they want (need possibly too?) better than the younger ones. She must have good reason to block your advances.

Don't focus on her actions though, focus on why she made those actions.

What stimulated her to do so?


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:39 am 
JDogg wrote:
In this interaction, objectively, who seems to be calling the shots?

Who's needs are being met?

Why is this?

As always, analyze for you, not for us.

Finally, grinus's clue has much weight to it. Don't overlook, just ponder

Last note:

Historically, what do we know about older women?

They've been around the block, they know how to operate to get what they want (need possibly too?) better than the younger ones. She must have good reason to block your advances.

Don't focus on her actions though, focus on why she made those actions.

What stimulated her to do so?
dude if her needs were being met then I would have fucked her and she's definitely not meeting my needs.

focusing on why is over thinking.

Do you need to know why a tree fell to know that a tree fell?

Do you need to know why the tree fell to know how to respond to that tree if it's falling near you?

It's about what she actually did.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:11 am 
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Slim Titan wrote:
That last statement you made seems really staunch though too.
It's not about being staunch, it's about having a little fuck'n self-respect.

_________________
The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:24 am 
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Posts: 104
Quote:

focusing on why is over thinking.
I thought asking why meant thinking critically

Do you need to know why a tree fell to know that a tree fell?
You should probably know why a tree feel if you would like to be proactive about preventing future trees from falling

Do you need to know why the tree fell to know how to respond to that tree if it's falling near you?
I think your chances of survival would increase if you knew a little bit more about the tree. Perhaps you knew you should run away, but you didn't realize that running in the same linear direction as the falling tree would still get you killed.

It's about what she actually did.
So did you actually consider why she did what she did and then why things turned out how they did? Why she made two decisions that seem to conflict with one another?
When I say ask why, I don't mean you should consider her thought process in making those decisions.

I mean you should consider her behavior as a direct response to your actions.

When you don't ask why, you write too many things off as coincidence.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:42 am 
Star_Above wrote:
Slim Titan wrote:
That last statement you made seems really staunch though too.
It's not about being staunch, it's about having a little fuck'n self-respect.
Oh really?
JDogg wrote:
Quote:

focusing on why is over thinking.
I thought asking why meant thinking critically

Do you need to know why a tree fell to know that a tree fell?
You should probably know why a tree feel if you would like to be proactive about preventing future trees from falling

Do you need to know why the tree fell to know how to respond to that tree if it's falling near you?
I think your chances of survival would increase if you knew a little bit more about the tree. Perhaps you knew you should run away, but you didn't realize that running in the same linear direction as the falling tree would still get you killed.

It's about what she actually did.
So did you actually consider why she did what she did and then why things turned out how they did? Why she made two decisions that seem to conflict with one another?
When I say ask why, I don't mean you should consider her thought process in making those decisions.

I mean you should consider her behavior as a direct response to your actions.

When you don't ask why, you write too many things off as coincidence.
I would be more than pleased to hear what you think she was doing. Include the why response too.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:18 am 
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Quote:
Her, "Let me warm up my car."

Me, "You mind if I get a ride back to my dorm?"

Her, "Sure."

We get in the car, and I'm racking my brain about a play that I have to get her to come inside with me. I've already asked her back to my place twice now and got turned down. I already showed her one of the cards in my hand already. She said, "I always see you when I come to the bar. Do you come here a lot?" I tell her, "Maybe you're just lucky. I stop in a few days of the week to grab a beer, but I'm rarely here tonight this late on a Saturday." She kicked some mess to me about me being lucky. Then she changed her statement to me being lucky when I get to Canada. My cloaking wasn't that great on that one.
Looks like she was ready to submit to you.

Then you guys got in the car. Something tells me she was gauging your actions very closely. You claim to have been racking your brain about some elaborate scheme to have her come inside, which tells me you weren't very present or indifferent at this point. This was displayed in your actions and may have turned her off a bit = not finishing where you started.

She seems to have admitted she was choosing you "I always see you when I come to the bar"

Then seems like she was testing you when she starts talking about you being the lucky one to be hanging out with her. This could be a pretty defining moment in your encounters with this woman as you didn't check her. I don't know where she would get that idea, it's supposed to be the other way around. You are the prize, aren't you?

In sum, she had chosen you under certain conditions. Your actions in the car didn't reflect your ability to fulfil those conditions, so she ultimately decided no.


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