Natural Freedom

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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:40 pm 
JDogg wrote:
Quote:
We get in the car, and I'm racking my brain about a play that I have to get her to come inside with me. I've already asked her back to my place twice now and got turned down. I already showed her one of the cards in my hand already. She said, "I always see you when I come to the bar. Do you come here a lot?" I tell her, "Maybe you're just lucky. I stop in a few days of the week to grab a beer, but I'm rarely here tonight this late on a Saturday." She kicked some mess to me about me being lucky. Then she changed her statement to me being lucky when I get to Canada. My cloaking wasn't that great on that one.
That bolded part happened earlier in the night man. :lol:

There was also no need to check her on that. She knew she was trying to spit a line to me.

My cloaking wasn't good because I openly said she was lucky. She already knows this and words she says can't change that.

It would have been stupid to check her on that. Power is like nitroglycerin.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 9:37 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:02 am
Posts: 104
Fair enough Slim.

My best advice is what star already said.

Too many beautiful women in this world to stress too much over any one of them. I don't mean to just drop her all staunch and such.

Just reassess the situation as you see fit.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:28 pm 
JDogg wrote:
Fair enough Slim.

My best advice is what star already said.

Too many beautiful women in this world to stress too much over any one of them. I don't mean to just drop her all staunch and such.

Just reassess the situation as you see fit.
And just like that you checked yourself while you were telling me to check that girl. :lol:

Do you realize what happened? Instead of telling you that you were just repping your ego with that response to what I said about why questions I let you set yourself up by listening.

You showed me your hand and that hand (the statement you quoted) has very little to do with the effects of what transpired that night.

The same thing happened with the girl. I listened to her and she created a line that had very little to do with what I said. Read what I wrote if you don't believe me. I gave her the space to reflect on that by being silent and looking away. She checked herself in the same way that you checked yourself. However, what's different about this case is that I actually have to give you more information because you didn't read closely enough the first time. I said, "already," that literally means what has happened in the past.

As for your response about focusing on the why you are still wrong, and I hope you have the humility to listen. When you focus on why you don't get to the mechanics of things. You get the theory of things. You can often times deduce cause and effect from logical why questions, but that takes you out of the present moment for one. Second, often times the logic of why is laden with emotion. Hence, it will be nearly impossible to find the why out without understanding the how and what of actions that preceded it. Further, the how and what often answers the why question. So, the why question becomes redundant.

Take a situation of a person that doesn't like ice cream but likes milk. Asking why will lead you down a series of stupid questions. If you ask that person how ice cream tastes versus how milk tastes you get to the root of their beliefs.

The question of why is often ego driven and asking why all the time is definitely egoistic. You're only caring about yourself or limiting to your needs because the why question only fulfills what you're thinking about. If someone is thinking trains rule and you ask why they might not be thinking about the train at all. They might be thinking about the tracks, the scenery, the buildings, the seats etc.

Further, it might be good to reflect on what Star's advice entails. How is it possible for me to demonstrate the level of self-respect that Star is advising without dropping them? How many women have you dropped that have turned you down after an incidental meeting? If so, how many missed opportunities do you think have occurred? If you haven't missed any opportunities but you have dropped a lot of women because they didn't agree to your incidental meeting but want to talk more, how many women do you currently have? It's not about how many you have been with but how many you currently have because that mindset breeds bad habits. It is obvious that she likes me, but I saw her on a SATURDAY night. Is it possible that she has other plans? Is it possible that her 20 something year old daughter is home and she doesn't want to show me off to her daughter for a 1am affair? Is it possible that something hasn't happened yet that she believes is necessary to a fulfilling sex based relationship?

There are a lot of questions to ask. Now focusing on myself and my self-respect is extremely egoistic. What's damaging to my self-respect about getting turned down from a RANDOM meeting that only happened because I happened to stop in at the bar at the RIGHT time? Remember, she was nursing an almost empty beer for 30 minutes or more talking to me. There's a time and place for everything. Have we even found out that I cannot dictate the time and place for sex? I've never asked her out, tried to setup a meeting a public place, nor have I asked her to come to my place or vice versa.

If you read the later posts then you know that we haven't talked in 3 months because of my doing. I told her to call me and she gave me resistance. So, I didn't text her and deleted her number. She's probably even tried to reach me in between then with her attitude. Who knows, I have a DO NOT ANSWER list that she may have been on before I deleted her number.

Now who's self-respect might be challenged by our 1am affair? She's worked at the construction site for the library for 3 months and we haven't talked once. She even mentioned how close my dorm was to the site. She may have tried to contact me and I blew her off because I was so staunch that I took her not trying to call me at 12am as a sign of disrespect. Now, after 3 months I casually ask her to come back to my place.

Last, are you really sure that I'm stressing about this woman? Or, might I just have been curious to find out some more things about myself?

Also, thank you Grinus for helping me see what really happened. It took three clues but that's three clues enough.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:47 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:54 am
Posts: 411
Location: Levelling up.
Slim Titan wrote:
As for your response about focusing on the why you are still wrong, and I hope you have the humility to listen. When you focus on why you don't get to the mechanics of things. You get the theory of things. You can often times deduce cause and effect from logical why questions, but that takes you out of the present moment for one. Second, often times the logic of why is laden with emotion. Hence, it will be nearly impossible to find the why out without understanding the how and what of actions that preceded it. Further, the how and what often answers the why question. So, the why question becomes redundant.

Take a situation of a person that doesn't like ice cream but likes milk. Asking why will lead you down a series of stupid questions. If you ask that person how ice cream tastes versus how milk tastes you get to the root of their beliefs.

The question of why is often ego driven and asking why all the time is definitely egoistic. You're only caring about yourself or limiting to your needs because the why question only fulfills what you're thinking about. If someone is thinking trains rule and you ask why they might not be thinking about the train at all. They might be thinking about the tracks, the scenery, the buildings, the seats etc.
[ img ]


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:58 am 
Edit: I'm not going to troll you like you're trolling me.

Please feel free to express your viewpoint as you see fit.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:36 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:02 am
Posts: 104
Honestly I think your ego is the one that needs checking my friend.

The reason I "checked" myself is because it really doesn't concern me and I don't care enough to go back and forth with you over this.

Again, it's your life, not mine. There's really not much I can discern from text on a computer screen. Not much I can analyze objectively, that is.

That opening line really just turned me off from reading the rest of the shit there.

I really hope you're only this confrontational with people on the internet, because if you're like this with everyone, then you're right, you need to work on your cloaking skills.

Maybe I'm not at the level where I can tell you exactly what your problem is, but I feel it in my gut you're struggling with something. Why else would you be resisting so much.

So go ahead, tell me I'm completely stupid and incompetent and throw whatever other backhanded remark you'd like. Just know that there is a source for all that frustration and it is not me.

EDIT: I read a couple paragraphs of what you wrote and I get the vibe you're trying to convince yourself of something rather than convincing me or anyone else.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 6:21 am 
JDogg wrote:
Honestly I think your ego is the one that needs checking my friend.

The reason I "checked" myself is because it really doesn't concern me and I don't care enough to go back and forth with you over this.

Again, it's your life, not mine. There's really not much I can discern from text on a computer screen. Not much I can analyze objectively, that is.

That opening line really just turned me off from reading the rest of the shit there.

I really hope you're only this confrontational with people on the internet, because if you're like this with everyone, then you're right, you need to work on your cloaking skills.

Maybe I'm not at the level where I can tell you exactly what your problem is, but I feel it in my gut you're struggling with something. Why else would you be resisting so much.

So go ahead, tell me I'm completely stupid and incompetent and throw whatever other backhanded remark you'd like. Just know that there is a source for all that frustration and it is not me.

EDIT: I read a couple paragraphs of what you wrote and I get the vibe you're trying to convince yourself of something rather than convincing me or anyone else.
You can think what you please about me.

There's a reason why I responded the way that I did to you. Yet, I have not responded to anyone else in such a manner in this thread, yet.

Now why? Think about how you treated my first response. Who flexed their ego first? Who is resisting what? I've invited you, Leo, and Star to openly tell me exactly what my problem is and why.

Have you ever thought that I don't take kindly to people placing their own problems onto me?

Food for thought.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 7:41 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:51 pm
Posts: 2046
Location: Laniakea Supercluster
It is unnecessary to defend against accusations
never made. Awareness Gap.

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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:44 am 
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User avatar

Joined: Fri May 27, 2011 8:04 am
Posts: 1114
Location: USA
Jared...where have you been? ;)


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:32 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:02 am
Posts: 104
Slim Titan wrote:

There's a reason why I responded the way that I did to you.

Now why?

Slim Titan wrote:

As for your response about focusing on the why you are still wrong, and I hope you have the humility to listen. When you focus on why you don't get to the mechanics of things. You get the theory of things. You can often times deduce cause and effect from logical why questions, but that takes you out of the present moment for one. Second, often times the logic of why is laden with emotion. Hence, it will be nearly impossible to find the why out without understanding the how and what of actions that preceded it. Further, the how and what often answers the why question. So, the why question becomes redundant.

Take a situation of a person that doesn't like ice cream but likes milk. Asking why will lead you down a series of stupid questions. If you ask that person how ice cream tastes versus how milk tastes you get to the root of their beliefs.

The question of why is often ego driven and asking why all the time is definitely egoistic. You're only caring about yourself or limiting to your needs because the why question only fulfills what you're thinking about. If someone is thinking trains rule and you ask why they might not be thinking about the train at all. They might be thinking about the tracks, the scenery, the buildings, the seats etc.

That what was got me a bit worked up to be honest. I knew that you didn't truly believe in what you were saying about how "asking why is pointless".

Honestly, I believe making this statement
Quote:
Have you ever thought that I don't take kindly to people placing their own problems onto me?
Is completely irrational, especially when we are having an argument/discussion. I've seen you say this a lot to people on this forum when they disagree with your opinion.

It sounds like how a woman would argue. Instead of addressing what has actually been said, they focus their part of the argument on painting the opposition as a bad person with some irrational statement.

It's called playing the victim.

I'll stop this now because it is petty and pointless.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 11:28 am 
JDogg wrote:
Slim Titan wrote:

As for your response about focusing on the why you are still wrong, and I hope you have the humility to listen. When you focus on why you don't get to the mechanics of things. You get the theory of things. You can often times deduce cause and effect from logical why questions, but that takes you out of the present moment for one. Second, often times the logic of why is laden with emotion. Hence, it will be nearly impossible to find the why out without understanding the how and what of actions that preceded it. Further, the how and what often answers the why question. So, the why question becomes redundant.

Take a situation of a person that doesn't like ice cream but likes milk. Asking why will lead you down a series of stupid questions. If you ask that person how ice cream tastes versus how milk tastes you get to the root of their beliefs.

The question of why is often ego driven and asking why all the time is definitely egoistic. You're only caring about yourself or limiting to your needs because the why question only fulfills what you're thinking about. If someone is thinking trains rule and you ask why they might not be thinking about the train at all. They might be thinking about the tracks, the scenery, the buildings, the seats etc.

That what was got me a bit worked up to be honest. I knew that you didn't truly believe in what you were saying about how "asking why is pointless".



It is often pointless, and I haven't moved from that position. You are distorting my position to mean "NEVER" instead of "INFREQUENTLY". How do you do that? :lol:

did you understand what I wrote? I'm extremely serious.


Further, you have once again said I did something that I didn't do. How are you able to do that?

Honestly, I believe making this statement
Quote:
Have you ever thought that I don't take kindly to people placing their own problems onto me?
Is completely irrational, especially when we are having an argument/discussion. I've seen you say this a lot to people on this forum when they disagree with your opinion.

No it is not irrational it is EXTREMELY LOGICAL. If you fabricate some belief about what I'm thinking or doing then it is FAKE. THAT IS CALLED A STRAWMAN ARGUMENT. :lol:

It sounds like how a woman would argue. Instead of addressing what has actually been said, they focus their part of the argument on painting the opposition as a bad person with some irrational statement.

It's called playing the victim.

Please refer back to your earlier statement about irrationality. Then please refer to the statement about how a woman would argue. Then please refer to the underlined statement. Then please explain how you are not doing exactly what you accuse me of doing. :ugeek:

I'll stop this now because it is petty and pointless.

This was far from pointless. It is far from petty. If you choose a different direction with your mind.
When you have calmed down enough to start thinking rationally then please do re-read ^^^^this.

*Puts his sledgehammer up*

I didn't even troll you like I felt like doing, that would have been petty and pointless, like what Leo did. Too bad that's the old me. I didn't blow up at either like I feel like you're blowing up at me, just calmly explained everything to you. It's my fault for not using your words to explain my position to you earlier either.


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 3:47 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:54 am
Posts: 411
Location: Levelling up.
What is 'trolling' anyway?

I was, like the baby in the picture, genuinely perplexed by what you wrote. I don't intend to be dismissive if it came across like that, but it's like the Joker said,'Why so serious?'.

Over & out :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 4:19 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 6:49 am
Posts: 5112
[ img ]

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:34 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:02 am
Posts: 104
You are right Slim. It was not petty or pointless. That was probably a projection by me, or rather a coping mechanism hiding myself from a stimulating argument.

You are also right, I did look at your argument too narrowly. I don't think we were talking about the same thing. I now realize I was just thinking generally about critical thinking. I was framing my argument wrong.

Maybe I was projecting something. Maybe I felt wrongly insulted. I think here, we can both agree that asking why I felt insulted is important.



This is me checking myself.

Thank you for allowing me to do so. I know I don't really know any of you, but I am glad there are people like you, Slim, and the Kidd, and 'Grinus, and Star, Dali, Meraki, Altair (or Morpheus, maybe it was Neo), GB, all you guys. I am glad because you guys allow and help me to find direction.

I know it's a very indirect and disguised (cloaked) form of help, but I believe that is how it has to be.

Finally, thanks to Sniper. Without this website I obviously would not be who I am now. I think my life would be lacking this direction I am speaking about.

A journey just needs a direction to be complete, not necessarily a destination.

This was the best argument I've ever had


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 Post subject: Re: 39 vs. 23
PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 12:31 am 
The Kidd!! wrote:
[ img ]
Pretty much.

I'm sick now, so I'm out of commission.

I'm looking through my phone to see who might be willing to bring me some soup.


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