Natural Freedom :: Sense attacks from good friends

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Author:	Aragorn [ Mon Nov 18, 2013 11:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Sense attacks from good friends
Ssup, So I've been having an interesting couple of weeks/months (don't really know when the last time I posted was). I haven't been getting crazy pussy, or been happy all the time, or found the meaning to my life - quite the opposite, I'm actually quite confused and at times shit seems to be getting crazy in my head. The overall awareness of things that were running on autopilot can be a bit much at times. I've also been meditating, more specifically doing GP Walsh's "Just Allow It" course, which has been incredible (even though it's only the 4th day now). The whole meaning of this journey was to fix myself, and to see why that was incorrect and opposite to what should be done, has been nuts. Allowing and seeing some real pain, and accepting it, is very very good on an overall being of self-insight and calm. But whenever I feel that I'm reaching a higher state of self-acceptance, that I'm finally starting to figure things out, I feel attacks from people I consider to be my good friends. Even my family. I try to act good and make them feel respected and finally enjoy interacting with people instead of it being a real struggle to avoid some massive pain. But all I sense I'm getting is people withdrawing. People uncomfortable with me. It could be that I'm projecting, that I feel discomfort within from acceptance and project it onto others. But there's situations where I flat out get disrespected or made fun of maliciously, and it's happening more and more. And to be honest, it does bother me. It's also a stimulus for inner introspection and looking at why that's bothering me, so in the long-term it's a good thing, but it's just strange and I don't really understand it. Does anybody have similar experiences? Any insight as to what's happening? I mean, this really is not the case of me being an asshole with my "new powers" or anything - I feel I'm acting nicer and more accepting towards people, and that they're weird about it. It's just so strange.

Author:

roark [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:39 am ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

This is no surprise to me.

Sure, these increased attacks could be in response to subtle "vibes" that you're giving off and aren't even aware of (Mirror).

moose35 wrote:

I feel I'm acting nicer and more accepting towards people

You may be acting rather than genuine, and the mirror flings back shit at you. Maybe. Perhaps. Only you can really know if deep down you're acting as opposed to genuinely wanting to be this way. BUT: I don't think that's the main point.........

I talked briefly about my experiences with this kinda shit here: http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... =20#p34972

roark wrote:

I only started to understand what I consider "The Mirror That Life Really Is" when I started letting go on specific issues that bothered or upset me (plenty of threads on that topic too). For example, every time I truly released (another term that means more than at first glance

) being pissed off by a particular personality type, I found that subsequently people with that personality type started to avoid me, or would interact with me without bringing that personality out, and in some cases would even start to cooperate with me, help me out, etc.

Another interesting thing that seems to happen is that sometimes this personality type would confront me even more obnoxiously, totally in my fucking face. Once I started seeing these events as practice thrown at me by life to help me sharpen my sword - so to speak - my progress towards being able to see the mirror and experience the above really accelerated.

I also said elsewhere that an Eckhart Tolle ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_Tolle ) quote is now at the forefront of my mind ALL THE TIME with regards to this:
"How do you know that this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you're having at this moment." Clarification: 'experience you need' means 'experience you need in order to evolve'.

I'm assuming you have some experience with letting go/releasing if you're on GP's site, even if you've only been doing Just Allow It for 4 days. That's a prerequisite for what i'm about to say.

My recommendation would be to sit down and do some releasing on these real-world events. My experience has been that initially I was too 'clumsy' with this practice to be able to remember to "allow and release the feelings/sensations" IN THE SITUATION - not to mention not being able to do it while actually talking to someone - so i'd do it when I got home. As time went on, my reaction time improved; I would remember to do it immediately after the person left my vicinity; now i'm at the stage where SOMETIMES I can do it while the person is in front of me, fucking with me (although I can only do it "lightly" or "shallowly" when they're in front of me - not as deep as I can when in the privacy of my own home). I will undoubtedly improve, as i'm confident you will as well, with practice.

As for 'why is this shit happening?':

1 - To reiterate:

Quote:

"How do you know that this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you're having at this moment."

2 - Look at it this way: if you have a 'button' - ie a sore spot in your psyche that, once touched by another, provokes a 'negative' reaction in you - eg fear, freezing, sadness, a feeling of 'being small', or a strong desire to punch the motherfucker's lights out - and no one ever provoked it, how would you ever know it was there, and needs healing? Therefore, these fuckers who are messing with you are actually HELPING YOU. (No need to thank them, though - their help is unintentional

)

My theory is that now you've started on this path, life recognises your desire & craving to become the best, MOST AUTHENTIC 'you' that you could ever be, and is throwing this shit at you to start you on your path. Or alternatively, replace 'life' with 'your subconscious'. Whatever. Doesn't matter. Just accept the gift and open it.

Of course, all of the above is only my opinion........

Author:	Jared [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:58 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Sense attacks from good friends
What other people are, that is exactly what you get.

Author:

roark [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:06 am ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

moose35 wrote:

It's also a stimulus for inner introspection and looking at why that's bothering me, so in the long-term it's a good thing,

Highlighting this for 2 reasons:

1 - You recognise the benefits of these events. Exceptionally well done!

2 - You have a tendency to focus on the story, the "why" of it (at least you did in the past). I also have done so. But since really getting into releasing, i've come to see the stories that on rare occasions come up (when releasing shows me a childhood event that led to the formation of this 'button') as inconsequential. Don't get me wrong, they're interesting, sure, but not useful for any practical purposes, and I therefore don't focus on them. These days i'm just dealing with the physical sensations moving through my body & changing shape while doing so, and trying to remember to keep my hands offa them so that they can do what they know how to do. If this is wrong, the more experienced 'releasers' are welcome to correct me

Author:	Flow83 [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:15 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Sense attacks from good friends
Music to my ears Roark. Even though the whole point is to engage in your direct experience vs. the stories, don't let the terms "allowing" fool you into meaning you are supposed to be passive and "allow" certain behavior towards you either, or stay in situations that are not beneficial to you. If what is required for your growth is to be able to put your foot down, to walk away powerfully, to stand up for yourself, to make it clear that you won't tolerate something, or some version of any of this, you will continue to be presented with opportunities until you step into it. That IS an "if" though - I'm not saying this situation means that, only that you must be fully open and explore what is going on directly, not operate from pre-conceived ideas about it. I seem to recall observational skills being mentioned once or twice on this forum And yes, the ante will be upped, just like every other thing in life. The challenges increase and so do the rewards until you actually become a new person. You'll face more and more, in a more direct way, because you genuinely want to grow.

Author:

roark [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:53 am ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

Flow83 wrote:

don't let the terms "allowing" fool you into meaning you are supposed to be passive and "allow" certain behavior towards you either, or stay in situations that are not beneficial to you.

Of course. Mind you, this seems to be happening organically for me. For example, had a conflict with someone where their wants would have trampled over mine. I stood there calmly listening to them arguing for their wants, and acknowledging their points, then calmly told them that while I see where they're coming from, it's still unacceptable for me and I will not agree to it. Note: no arguing or shouting, not 'feeding' them. Their reaction was priceless. They stood there extending the conversation, trying their best to change my mind, and I got a vibe from them like "i've bitten off more than I expected to chew, and this is taking longer than expected." Eventually they gave up and walked away in frustration, expressing their frustration at the floor (very uneven surface) and the stuff they were carrying, but strangely enough, not at me. The result of shadowboxing, I guess

.

The thing is, I HATE conflicts like these, and used to look for the quickest escape route, and if one couldn't be found, compromise to end it as soon as possible. But on this day, I felt the tension in my chest, throat and stomach, while planting my feet firmly on the ground. I think this illustrates the distinction you're making:

- I 'allowed' the tension in my body and everything that was triggered by the confrontation.
- I 'DID NOT ALLOW' my boundaries to be compromised.

[Edit: And this happened without conscious intention on my part. I felt a strong compulsion to deal with it like this, and all I had to do was go with it. Mind you, that's not to say it was easy. It was really fucking uncomfortable, as I described.]

My thanks to you, 'Grinus, and GP for introducing me to allowing. This 'letting go' shit is DA FUCKIN' BOMB.

Author:	Flow83 [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 8:36 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Sense attacks from good friends
That was directed at Moose - but, nice

Author:

Jared [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 9:17 am ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

moose35 wrote:

Does anybody have similar experiences? Any insight as to what's happening? I mean, this really is not the case of me being an asshole with my "new powers" or anything - I feel I'm acting nicer and more accepting towards people, and that they're weird about it. It's just so strange.

Moose35 remember that;

“Everyone falls the first time.”

Not everyone in your reality ready to be
unplugged. Reads replies to this post here:

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2872

Author:

Ray [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:55 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

moose35 wrote:

But whenever I feel that I'm reaching a higher state of self-acceptance, that I'm finally starting to figure things out, I feel attacks from people I consider to be my good friends. Even my family. I try to act good and make them feel respected and finally enjoy interacting with people instead of it being a real struggle to avoid some massive pain. But all I sense I'm getting is people withdrawing. People uncomfortable with me.

moose35 wrote:

In regards to acting good/nice... When people are acting nice and I see through them, I feel far more repulsed by them than if they were not nice (there is a difference between not nice and rude). Maybe you're not concealing your emotion good enough. If you have free time, maybe you should try the exercise in this post naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=2326&hilit=poker+face .

Coincidentally, I've also been attacked a lot by friends and family. However, I've also realized that it probably hasn't just started recently, but rather I finally perceive those attacks as attacks. When it happens now, most of the time, I just smile, maybe give a curt comment, and let them continue with their own opinion. Keep in mind that some of those attacks are actually valid, in that they indicate a potential weakness.

Author:

roark [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:19 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

Jared wrote:

Moose35 remember that;

“Everyone falls the first time.”

Good point to bear in mind. First you crawl, then totter, then walk confidently, then run.

Jared wrote:

Not everyone in your reality ready to be
unplugged.

True. I think it will happen even if you don't try to unplug anyone, and don't consciously advertise your own unplugging. In my case, I kept what I was going through to myself, but the small changes in my character still attracted 'subconscious' attention from others (not everyone though) in my regular social circles (family, friends, colleagues). I figure (and something similar has been said on this forum before) that often the people who know you best will resist the changes in character that you naturally develop when doing work like this.

They knew how to handle 'you', and now that a different 'you' - even if more authentic - is beginning to emerge, it threatens the ease with which they were able to interact with (and maybe even control) you. The degree of course will vary from person to person, but I figure it compromises their feeling of 'security' ie you are on the way to becoming one less thing that they "know how to deal with". And their reaction is forgivable - we're all dealing with the desire for safety and the dysfunctions it produces.

Having said all of that, Moose, as interesting as all of the above is, my feeling would be that your inner reaction to all of this (and letting it have it's say) is the main deal. That includes how you feel about what I just said (IF it applies in your case, that is). But you can also be as mindful as you can at this point (baby steps, as Jared said) about what's happening on the outside. And you've started to be - you noticed it.

Author:	Aragorn [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 9:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sense attacks from good friends
Thanks for the replies everybody. Lots of food for thought. Yes, it probably bothers them because of a sense of security they had when dealing with me. Especially the people that were given more from me (effort, less space given) than they gave. However, the fact that this is bothering me probably shows the same thing about me. Although I have made it about the story in the past, I feel confident saying that I've gotten past that. It's more about realizing when I'm resisting emotions/feelings, acknowledging that and moving forward. That as well as focusing on what I can do more, effort wise, to actually produce results that bring me the type of life I want (I'm talking about working out, working hard, eating healthy, meditating, etc.). Less theoretical struggles with thoughts, and it's great. It's making me uncomfortable that I can see through behaviors caused by the ego. Manipulation, shit-talking when jealous. It's not like I'm perfect and have eliminated these behaviors. And my gut tells me I'm angry because I feel betrayed that these people that were supposed to bring me validation and were a measuring stick for my value aren't as perfect. In fact, they're flawed. And have a lot of the characteristics I don't want to give the space to in myself. That does nothing with the emotions of anger and a feeling of being misunderstood. But those emotions are not there to be destroyed, warped or eliminated. For the first time, I'm listening to them (not always, I see myself trying to get rid of them often). So I guess all that's left is to buckle in and let the ride lead wherever it may.

Author:

Voyager [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 10:41 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

Great thread Moose and co contributors.

I am experiencing something similar in the sense that I no longer want to be around many of my old friends.
I have gradually being dropping them from my life as the time we spend together serves no purpose anymore.
If I am honest with them, they invariably pour on the salt. I could keep my mouth shut and play out the
friendship but I'd be cheating myself instead of treating myself.

It seems to me that most people will go to considerable effort to prevent having their reality tunnel threatened,
what pisses me off the most is that I am honest about what I want and how I am whereas these poor fucks
caught up in the matrix are not. I've observed subtle signs that indicate that they want to throw out some
props and get their coat pulled when I share some of my exploits but they stop themselves from doing so because
they have to defend the symp program they are running.

But I am learning too to let it go... Let it go, find your flow and make it grow.

Shout out to Roark for this diamond:

Quote:

I had a conflict with someone where their wants would have trampled over mine. I stood there calmly listening to them arguing for their wants, and acknowledging their points, then calmly told them that while I see where they're coming from, it's still unacceptable for me and I will not agree to it. Note: no arguing or shouting, not 'feeding' them. Their reaction was priceless.

That's some iceberg slim shit there, cold!

Now for some pimp tight lyrics relevant to the topic:

"Jealous niggers only wishing me bad luck, but I'm the type of nigger who really don't give a fuck!"
~ Penthouse Players Clique, "They Don't Know"

"He who does not feel me is not real to me, therefore he does not exist so poof, vamoose son of a bitch"
~ Jay-Z, "H To The Izzo"

Author:	Flow83 [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sense attacks from good friends
Everyone will have their own path with this area, but a common theme is the stage where this stuff is happening - be it people seemingly trying to bring you down, or you just not wanting to be around the same people, and you get wrapped up in it as of course it is a big shift and can have seeming, or even real consequences. Could be a sense of anger and lashing out at it for happening. Could be a fascination with it and all sorts of conceptual stories about 'oh they must have xyz insecurities and are threatened by me now because of abc' -- or your own insecurity about it. Could be extreme vacillation between the two, even at a moments notice. It's natural. Just realize that after a certain point "everyone is trying to bring me down but I'm above them!" -- "I've evolved beyond so and so" -- "Everyone's judging or threatened by me or something but whatever, I don't give a #@%#@$!" is all just ego and a big hero story. You may be on the healthier ego side of it, but you are still defining yourself in relationship to others. Anyone who makes it a point to say out loud "I don't care what anyone thinks!" cares that you know they think that. There are exceptions but you know what I'm talking about. It's different when it's an environment where you are trying to inspire or communicate a mindset to ppl like you would be doing at a forum like this. On the other end of the spectrum could be guilt and internal drama around not wanting to hang with old friends or thinking of it like a big breakup and so on. This too is part of a resistance to just stepping into the unknown and just doing whatever the energy tells you to do, no matter who it might offend or what they'll think of you. Also totally natural. There's a continuing to move beyond all of it. You'll just hang with the people you want, put your energy on what you want, and those who don't contribute to you positively won't even receive an ounce of your most valuable mental energy. You won't even reference it. Even if it might offend them or even if they actually judge you as in they tell you, maybe you won't like it for a second but then you'll move away. No identity around it. You actually won't care because it's not in your consciousness, the way you actually don't care what they discussed on The View this morning (if that show still exists ). It's not this solid defined thing, you can get triggered and find stuff come up at any time, and it can bounce around, but the point is that you can get stuck in this stage, especially because it feels so much more powerful than the old victim stage. But perhaps most important -- this can all feel like a bad stage or unpleasant in the moment, and noone is going to put on a sales page "become the man you've always wanted, soon your family will start attacking you and you might lose a lot of your current friends! Only $49.99" -- but it is a GOOD sign in most cases. Trust yourself above all, even if everyone around you is trying to impose the opposite of your intuition.

Author:

Voyager [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:09 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

Quote:

...all just ego and a big hero story. You may be on the healthier ego side of it, but you are still defining yourself in relationship to others.

Anyone who makes it a point to say out loud "I don't care what anyone thinks!" cares that you know they think that. There are exceptions but you know what I'm talking about.

There's a continuing to move beyond all of it. You'll just hang with the people you want, put your energy on what you want, and those who don't contribute to you positively won't even receive an ounce of your most valuable mental energy. You won't even reference it. You *actually* won't care, the way you actually don't care what they discussed on The View this morning (if that show still exists

Thanks Flow83, I think that was just what I needed.

Seriously, I hadn't even considered any of that and for me it is ringing LOUD.

Author:

Flow83 [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:32 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

Voyager wrote:

Thanks Flow83, I think that was just what I needed.

Seriously, I hadn't even considered any of that and for me it is ringing LOUD.

Nice man.

As far as I'm concerned we all will have to deal with situations like this, it's annoying, people really are trying to manipulate and there could be a professional or other situation where it's not OK to make the big stand. You're just not stuck there, you don't define yourself by it, and the higher percentage of your time is ideally too focused on the things, people, projects etc, or even just your own company and your own inner world, that engage you to the point of being engrossed in them. When something comes up you know you can deal, and you can see it for what it is. It's a minor nuisance at most, and there is less and less need to call it out, change it, show yourself to be above it - you are most above it when you can truly just allow them to be whatever they are without being affected.

There's a direct correlation to how upset we are about 'the matrix' and how much power (appeal) it still has over us.

Author:

Aragorn [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:48 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Sense attacks from good friends

Flow83 wrote:

Everyone will have their own path with this area, but a common theme is the stage where this stuff is happening - be it people seemingly trying to bring you down, or you just not wanting to be around the same people, and you get wrapped up in it as of course it is a big shift and can have seeming, or even real consequences.

Could be a sense of anger and lashing out at it for happening.

Could be a fascination with it and all sorts of conceptual stories about 'oh they must have xyz insecurities and are threatened by me now because of abc' -- or your own insecurity about it. Could be extreme vacillation between the two, even at a moments notice.

It's natural. Just realize that after a certain point "everyone is trying to bring me down but I'm above them!" -- "I've evolved beyond so and so" -- "Everyone's judging or threatened by me or something but whatever, I don't give a #@%#@$!"

is all just ego and a big hero story. You may be on the healthier ego side of it, but you are still defining yourself in relationship to others.

Anyone who makes it a point to say out loud "I don't care what anyone thinks!" cares that you know they think that. There are exceptions but you know what I'm talking about. It's different when it's an environment where you are trying to inspire or communicate a mindset to ppl like you would be doing at a forum like this.

On the other end of the spectrum could be guilt and internal drama around not wanting to hang with old friends or thinking of it like a big breakup and so on. This too is part of a resistance to just stepping into the unknown and just doing whatever the energy tells you to do, no matter who it might offend or what they'll think of you. Also totally natural.

There's a continuing to move beyond all of it. You'll just hang with the people you want, put your energy on what you want, and those who don't contribute to you positively won't even receive an ounce of your most valuable mental energy. You won't even reference it. Even if it might offend them or even if they *actually* judge you as in they tell you, maybe you won't like it for a second but then you'll move away. No identity around it. You *actually* won't care because it's not in your consciousness, the way you actually don't care what they discussed on The View this morning (if that show still exists

).

It's not this solid defined thing, you can get triggered and find stuff come up at any time, and it can bounce around, but the point is that you can get stuck in this stage, especially because it feels so much more powerful than the old victim stage.

But perhaps most important -- this can all feel like a bad stage or unpleasant in the moment, and noone is going to put on a sales page "become the man you've always wanted, soon your family will start attacking you and you might lose a lot of your current friends! Only $49.99" -- but it is a GOOD sign in most cases. Trust yourself above all, even if everyone around you is trying to impose the opposite of your intuition.

Shit man, just when I think I've stopped making up stories and identifying with them

Totally understand. It is what it is at this point.

My foundation is being shaked. I can feel it day to day, and there's a lot of things shifting, especially in my relationships with other people, which I then identify with. I was already having bad relations with my family when I started this and stopped falling in line there, but know it's happening with a number of friends and peers in school, and it feels uncomfortable.

That's one of the things that I'm liking about doing Just Allow It. Whenever I feel confused as hell, I have a feeling of trusting the energy within once I actually listen to it.

Thanks Flow. Much appreciated.

Author:	Flow83 [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sense attacks from good friends
Things often have to break down, with stages of discomfort, so that they can be rebuilt more powerfully. Kinda like working out. Or anything else Eventually the labels and resistance around "discomfort" break down and it's no longer a problem, just life functioning the way it does.

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