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 Post subject: Why she kept apologizing
PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:15 pm 
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This all stemmed from StephenP's thread All part of the game I guess…

I had a question for peregrinus about one of his responses's there and below are snip-its of that conversation.

Maybe some of this will be helpful to others.
peregrinus wrote:
Mikey swag wrote:
Later that night she texted me and said she was an idiot. To be honest, even though it was a messed up situation, I didn't feel like she did anything wrong. But she kept apologizing too me over it and I kept telling her it was fine and not to worry about it. We ended up hanging out again and she made it up to me. This was only possible though cause I didn't care.
Ask yourself why she kept apologising....

There is a damn good reason why and it has little to do with you…

My initial question and response:
Quote:
I've been digesting this and am curious to why she kept apologizing.
I have a one or two thoughts.

1) She wanted to get a reaction from him, but I don't see how apologizing would do that.

2) She apologized and wanted his acceptance to clear her consciousness for her wrong doing (if one was even present for her)

3) She was trying to force her frame onto him and make him CARE for her. (THIS one sounds right).

Any thoughts?

After some trial and error I came up with:
Quote:
she kept apologizing, because she realized (he) was the best option.
Peregrinus responded with:
peregrinus wrote:
Getting warmer
Some more trial in error and I thought of things like:
Quote:
Was she trying to "ball steal"?
Quote:
She apologized, because she liked the emotions/feelings she was getting from apologizing and chasing StephenP.
Then a breakthrough:
peregrinus wrote:
TheDude wrote:
Quote:
I go to the front part of the bar (a separate room) and order a beer and chat with the bartender that I am acquaintances with, when the girl and this guy walk past me and leave the bar together. Chatting with the bartender I only happened to notice once they were past me with their back to me walking out the door.
Did she possibly do what she did at the bar to groom and "break" StephenP (a crazy manipulation game she thought would make StephenP want her and chase her, losing his power)
A hell of a lot warmer

Now, why did she apologise so much afterwards?
Then some more:
peregrinus wrote:
TheDude wrote:
She apologized so much, because she was trying to fix her mistake
Now what was her mistake?
TheDude wrote:
She apologized so much, because she was trying to fix her mistake without any repercussion?
After further deliberation and knowledge dropping peregrinus wrote:
peregrinus wrote:
She realised she messed up.

It was her..

She lost him..

She also realised what he was, too late..
.

She lost her self in the presence of a MAN.
Showed her spoiled little girl attitude.
Pushed the envelope too far and got burned.


Peregrinus quoted an earlier comment from another thread to bring it all into perspective.
Here's the link to that thread: http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 581#p19581
peregrinus wrote:
They had to see I would walk away and not put up with it. Until I showed them that, they did not fully believe I would. Until they saw that, it was merely a thought, a question, rather than hard facts and reality. The ironic thing was, by the time I had, it was too late for them (in their mind), then they backpedal as they realise that I am what they thought I was and go 'oh shit!'.

At some point they have to touch the stove and feel that heat, otherwise they will never believe it is hot. They may think they do, they do not. Only once they have felt that heat do they truly know it is hot and will burn them.

Only then will they treat the stove with the respect and caution that it deserves, for the effect they now know it can have if handled incorrectly.

Until they have seen you walk and the way you walk, they never truly believe you will. Once you have and they have seen that, they know it. The way you walk is as important in my mind as walking.

The ironic thing is, once they have pushed you that far and you have walked, although they are now sure of who you are and that you will do it and have healthy boundaries, they have also put themselves out of the game - why would you want to walk back when they have shown a lack of respect for your boundaries and a lack of awareness of them.
This I especially liked.
Quote:
why would you want to walk back when they have shown a lack of respect for your boundaries and a lack of awareness of them.
I had one further question:
peregrinus wrote:
TheDude wrote:
This all brought up a question for me.

Why would a women test a man, when he shows solid congruent actions? (Especially a test as intense as what happened to StephenP)
In the case with StephenP, she only ruined her chances...greatly!
StephenP did mention she was intoxicated, yet alcohol does bring out deeper things at times.
I think it was a sign of a female used to getting her way all the time with guys and then uneasy with a non-manipulative MAN in her presence...aka she was being a spoiled girl.
Right... You seem to see it now..

It would have worked with a proportion of the male population.

However, with someone being true to himself it would not.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:57 pm 
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Excellent thread in the link(s).

Peerless metaphor from the guys.

:lol:

Celebrate...

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 5:18 am 
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'Intense testing', 'got really drunk'.

Seems incongruent to me.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:44 am 
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Thank you for posting. :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:47 pm 
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To add:
peregrinus wrote:
TheDude wrote:
I'm not sure where she fucked up in the test. Possibly testing him to begin with, since they where already dating.
What makes you think they were dating?
peregrinus wrote:
TheDude wrote:
They slept with each other more than once. I figured it was some sort of "dating".
So it was an assumption?

I did not read it as they were dating, though I could be wrong..

Of course, the matrix does attempt to convince men that that is so, even though women do not tend to agree. (They slept with each other more than once. I figured it was some sort of "dating")
peregrinus wrote:
TheDude wrote:
How would you label, two people having sex with each other, if it's not dating?
Two people having sex
TheDude wrote:
so simple.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 4:28 pm 
The effect that a real man has over a woman is real and intoxicating.

Have you ever and this goes for Grinus' too considered that the woman was apologizing because there was no return clause in their contract.

There is some contract even if you're just having sex.

I think the lack of a return clause, this is without reading the original thread, is a devastating force. However, it is only as devastating as the man is true to his convictions and principles.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 6:59 pm 
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Interesting question, Titan.

On a different note, this may go beyond sexual/romantic relationships. I experienced this behaviour in a totally platonic (presumably ;) ) situation a number of years ago. I may have told this story before, but can't find the thread right now, so apologies if repeating.

I dropped by someone's house to find him & his wife rearranging their furniture. They were both quite older than I (their '50's). She's the 'fiery latina' type; cheated on him once (at least); always nagged him; regularily had him working on some 'home improvement' project or the other; used to scream at him on a regular basis....

Since I was there I decided to help them move their bed. At one point she told me to carry my end a little more to the right, so I did. She said "No, not that way. To the RIGHT." So I did. She said "NO! To the RIGHT!" I pointed out that I was indeed moving it to the right. This escalated until she was shouting at me "What are you, an idiot?"

At this point I had enough. But because I wasn't invested, I did it calmly. I can vividly remember muttering to myself "I deserve better than this", and GENTLY put my side of the bed down, so that I wouldn't damage anything or hurt anyone, and CALMLY walked out of the house, without saying another word. It wasn't an act; I just couldn't be fucking bothered to argue, or point out how unreasonable she was behaving.

She ran out the house, ran in front of me, begging me not to leave, apologising excessively. She was shaking like a fucking leaf. Until that day, I always thought that was a metaphor, but apparently it isn't :lol: . She wouldn't let me leave until she was sure that I had forgiven her (which in itself was irritating).

My behaviour brings to mind this:
peregrinus wrote:
The way you walk is as important in my mind as walking.
HER behaviour (as well as her husband's, and most guys I know) brings to mind this:
peregrinus wrote:
It would have worked with a proportion of the male population.
It shouldn't surprise anyone on this forum that her attitude and behaviour towards me after that day changed considerably for the better. It probably also wouldn't surprise anyone to know that a few years later, she divorced her husband.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 7:54 pm 
roark wrote:
Interesting question, Titan.

On a different note, this may go beyond sexual/romantic relationships. I experienced this behaviour in a totally platonic (presumably ;) ) situation a number of years ago. I may have told this story before, but can't find the thread right now, so apologies if repeating.

I dropped by someone's house to find him & his wife rearranging their furniture. They were both quite older than I (their '50's). She's the 'fiery latina' type; cheated on him once (at least); always nagged him; regularily had him working on some 'home improvement' project or the other; used to scream at him on a regular basis....

Since I was there I decided to help them move their bed. At one point she told me to carry my end a little more to the right, so I did. She said "No, not that way. To the RIGHT." So I did. She said "NO! To the RIGHT!" I pointed out that I was indeed moving it to the right. This escalated until she was shouting at me "What are you, an idiot?"

At this point I had enough. But because I wasn't invested, I did it calmly. I can vividly remember muttering to myself "I deserve better than this", and GENTLY put my side of the bed down, so that I wouldn't damage anything or hurt anyone, and CALMLY walked out of the house, without saying another word. It wasn't an act; I just couldn't be fucking bothered to argue, or point out how unreasonable she was behaving.

She ran out the house, ran in front of me, begging me not to leave, apologising excessively. She was shaking like a fucking leaf. Until that day, I always thought that was a metaphor, but apparently it isn't :lol: . She wouldn't let me leave until she was sure that I had forgiven her (which in itself was irritating).


My behaviour brings to mind this:
peregrinus wrote:
The way you walk is as important in my mind as walking.
HER behaviour (as well as her husband's, and most guys I know) brings to mind this:
peregrinus wrote:
It would have worked with a proportion of the male population.
It shouldn't surprise anyone on this forum that her attitude and behaviour towards me after that day changed considerably for the better. It probably also wouldn't surprise anyone to know that a few years later, she divorced her husband.
You never know when she's wearing choosing shoes. A choosy is Suzy is the best actor in a movie until the script is flipped. That's why she tripped.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 10:13 pm 
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roark wrote:
At this point I had enough. But because I wasn't invested, I did it calmly. I can vividly remember muttering to myself "I deserve better than this", and GENTLY put my side of the bed down, so that I wouldn't damage anything or hurt anyone, and CALMLY walked out of the house, without saying another word. It wasn't an act; I just couldn't be fucking bothered to argue, or point out how unreasonable she was behaving.
A good explanation of what I mean, why and how you walked..

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 10:14 pm 
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Slim Titan wrote:
Have you ever and this goes for Grinus' too considered that the woman was apologizing because there was no return clause in their contract.
What contract?

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 30, 2013 12:03 am 
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I'm assuming he's referring to any type of agreement between consenting sex partners.

I'll share in an overdue update.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 12:19 am 
peregrinus wrote:
Slim Titan wrote:
Have you ever and this goes for Grinus' too considered that the woman was apologizing because there was no return clause in their contract.
What contract?
What do you mean? There's always a contract on acceptable behavior. Following the contract is exactly how the woman makes her way into your bed.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 4:08 pm 
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Slim Titan wrote:
peregrinus wrote:
Slim Titan wrote:
Have you ever and this goes for Grinus' too considered that the woman was apologizing because there was no return clause in their contract.
What contract?
What do you mean? There's always a contract on acceptable behavior. Following the contract is exactly how the woman makes her way into your bed.
Hmmm...I didn't pick up on any contracts being entered into...maybe you mean 'unwritten rule'? :|

Either way, you're still not being water, my friend. :geek:

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 7:00 pm 
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Try the water thing Slim, I'm about 6 months into my put absolutely no effort in/be off the market.

The results are interesting to say the least, and that's just the tip of the iceberg that I can see. :geek:

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2013 4:06 pm 
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Altair wrote:
Try the water thing Slim, I'm about 6 months into my put absolutely no effort in/be off the market.

The results are interesting to say the least, and that's just the tip of the iceberg that I can see. :geek:
I'd be interested to read of these results if you may, for the benefit of the class :ugeek:


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2013 5:41 pm 
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It's kinda a double edged sword, at least in the way that I am conducting the experiment.

The rules for it are no effort on my part to continue a conversation, and no touching me (lol) and what I mean by that is I won't escalate anything. I'll talk back and forth but I have no interest in trying to keep them around.

One of those things you really have to experience to believe, two really interesting times happened when I was home last a couple months ago. The one time this one girl dragged over all her friends to introduce me to them and that kind of stuff, and then just ridiculous amounts of jocking from most of the girls in the bar fully cloaked of course. Then I am just leaned back into the couch having a beer and talking with my friend who I haven't seen in a while and no joke lol like three different girls in the span of 10-15 minutes (this is near last call, thusly I am reversing the time factor) came up and were lap dancing on me and the last one was actually gorgeous and starting asking me if I had a girlfriend. It was fun but I didn't try to hold onto it while it was there.

The second story I ran into a ton of people I went to high school with, some of them openly disrespected me in high school. I was open and friendly with everyone, and let them get close enough to see what I am becoming. 8-) There is no better feeling than seeing girls that used to turn their nose up at you wish they could have you. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for the conversations that happen after. :lol:

The downside is that my calibration isn't a razor sharp as when I was out all the time, I notice myself slipping sometimes but at this point my time is better spent on furthering myself then in the bars...at least for now.

I'm moving home in the spring and getting a house, then I predict things will become very interesting :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:50 am 
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'No touching', 'lap dancing'. Riiight.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:58 am 
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ahk wrote:
'No touching', 'lap dancing'. Riiight.
[ img ]

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 4:14 am 
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Projection :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 7:02 am 
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You'll have to try harder or go somewhere else to get that rush your ego is looking for.... ;)

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