Natural Freedom
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90 days and after
http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=3318		 Page 2 of 2
Author:  TheDude [ Fri Jul 05, 2013 8:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 90 days and after
UPDATE:

Went over for dinner a few days back after work. Tension was 'off' in the air, as if she didn't know how to handle our situation. She was waiting for me to make the move. I didn't and we just conversed and ate.

I was a little disappointed that in our entire time hanging out that time she didn't bring up her work (journey/introspection) at all. Made me realize that I need to let go of wanting to help her. If she wants it she will go for it. "You can take a horse to the river, but you can't force it to drink".

We did have an interesting conversation on chivalry and paying for dates...

We chatted about how women get a bunch of free things and taken care of, but the guys always get emptied out. Chatted about modern day etiquette for dates, and how it is so skewed in the favor of the women. Then delved into whats the reason for guys having to pay, and how come women paying for men is seen as a "douchebag" move on the guys part. I conversation went a little like this...

Her: Guys should have to pay for the dates.
Dude: How come?
Her: It's the correct thing to do.
Dude: Why? I would pay for my gf, but not for a person I don't know.
Her: Ya, I would pay for my bf sometimes too, but you should court a girl.
Dude: Women are at a place in society where they don't need men's financial help, so paying for a women is almost like your actually paying for something else.
Her: Not really, your just showing a friendly gesture that you like her.
Dude: Why would a guy have to pay to be nice. There's other ways to be nice. Why should guys pay?
Her: For good head.
Dude: :roll: Uhh
Her: No, but its the right thing.

Then I go off into saying that it sounds like its not too far from prostitution and men are practically paying for sex.
In the end, the conversation moved onto a different subject, but I was happy this came out.
To hear the words actually come from a female, made it that much more potent. :geek:

Reality doesn't lie.
Author:  TheDude [ Sat Sep 13, 2014 11:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 90 days and after
Seems like so long ago that I wrote this!

I've decided to embark on this journey again, but this time there is no 'time restriction'; it will go on until I feel it needs to.

The first time around my mindset was not where it is now. After rereading this thread, I saw and remembered that my mindset back then still had women as the #1 priority and myself as #2.

This tool, abstinence, helps things that I avoid come to the surface. Sexual release for me at the moment is a means as a 'distraction'. I have a chance to really make some changes for myself, and I'm not going to waste this opportunity.

My focus this time around is on: facing my 'core issue'; ingraining that sex and approval from women is not the "be-all end-all"; practicing my sexual patience; being open to what else comes up.

To end, that experience of 'trying to help others' is something I will not do anymore. I recently had another similar, but less sexual experience that taught me: it is none of my business to help others with their inner conflicts, I only need to focus on myself. My desire to help others with deep seated issues at times is a distraction from myself.

Another person's deep seated conflicts is none of my business. If they decide to share that information with me on their own free-will, so be it, I will only give them a ear to listen. A lot of growing up is happening. :geek:
Author:  The GK2 [ Sat Sep 13, 2014 6:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 90 days and after
Yes, I've learned the hard way that trying to help people who have not asked for it, is a road best not taken.
Brian Tracy wrote:
Leading by example
You can't convince people about what you think is right, which often is the first urge whenever we learn something new. The best thing you can do is to lead by example, because people will not learn it no other way.
When they see how good you are doing, they'll come themselves for help and that's when you can help them.
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