expand foofatron

Come on, a tiny weeny bit more info

No I don't text her. I've only made contact with her via phone when I had to. She has taken me to the college I'm going to to check it out. Her brother goes there and she offered. She's taken me to a get together with people from work. I offered her money and she said essentially for you never. She made me hug her goodbye before I got out of the car last time. This is the girl who told me I was far more attractive than her winter all date. She has definitely lost interest over time because I did not make a move. She was choosing me for a small time, but I was to nervous to do anything with it.

My theory is I sound nervous over the phone. I hate talking over the phone period. My emotions are now surging out. I think the whole play it cool, don't ask girls out thing has become a crutch. See when I ask girls out I can be rejected so when I play it cool I'm in far more control because it's not like I'm in a position to be rejected. Now the more attractive I perceive the girl the less cool I am. I find myself become more attracted ATTACHED! to girls just because they like me and become nervous when I wasn't before. Running into her at work was definitely the hardest time to be around her in person ever. My vibe has changed.

Her behavior, I think is a reaction to my behavior now. MIRROR"! No matter how much I read and try to internalize when it comes to girls I actually like I get nervous. If they like me then I become really nervous. Maybe I'm afraid of messing up something that's not there yet.

Btw I don't think I have ever said hello to her first once we did so at the same time. I never went out of my way.

have you ever asked yourself "why do I like girls, that I encounter for the first time?"

you should be honored that someone "used" you to feel good.
treat people in kind! if you do like her, but sees that she's trying to game you, reverse game and satisfy thyself


(ok, I'm going back into my black ball now)

My best friend has been hounding me to go and friend took at shot at me. Really I didn't want him to 'win' so that was a big motivator.

I was thinking every day what if this girl leaves and I can't get another girl, then I'd be a loser!

Oh, no! I haven't had my cootie shots yet!

Thats problem #1 right there... Fuck what your friends think, don't pay any attention to hounding or goading.
Ok, so what if this happened? Would you die from being a loser? Is there anything at all that you can think of in the world that you would enjoy and have fun at even if you were a "loser"?

Would you spend the rest of your life moping in a depressed stupor, or would you find things to do that you would love and at least some of the time you would feel happy and good?

Think long and hard about these questions. Let your gut answer, not your head.

Being a loser would not prevent me from enjoying life. It means nothing, it is simply a social put down and judgement. I would still enjoy walking on a nice day, lifting, etc. Does it even force me to change how I relate to others? No. The only thing I struggle with is if I'm a loser then I'm less than others. I have yet to realize it doesn't matter. I appreciate your post and I'll see where it goes.

If you buy into being a loser, it would affect your enjoyment of life.

If you buy into being less than others, that becomes your story.
It isn´t about worthiness or unworthiness, it´s more like because you accept
the story, and live yourself into it, you feel this way.

Change the story. It´s faster to live from a totally different context than trying
to change your worthiness/unworthiness.

In order to be UNHAPPY, you´ll have to accept a negative program.

Yes! Very nice Jared. When I first came to this forum, your posts seemed cryptic and obtuse. Now they are some of my favorites.

One nuance I see is that "changing your story" is not necessarily about adopting a new story that you think will be better. You also (consciously or unconsciously) chose the story that is now causing suffering, what makes you think that choosing a new story will lead to a better place?

No, the way I see it is its about letting go of the story you hold onto now, and instead of replacing it with a new story, be open to finding out what the truth really is.

Sit and look, and see what is really there. Don't buy into any story that comes from your mind. Instead, inquire and find out what is really there. Sit and ask yourself why being less/more than others is so important to you. You have a mental understanding that it doesn't matter, but you don't feel that it doesn't matter yet. Keep asking why, why, why. Keep asking, ask your gut, dig until you have dug up the whole root. Then see what naturally fills the space on its own.

Women give me a feeling that I don't feel on my own.