Natural Freedom

What is the feeling anyway?

I can only describe it as romantic, warm, etc. I also like the feeling of desiring them and the feeling that something's happening. It's exciting in a different way than say a roller coaster. I understand I create these feelings. However I have never seen them outside of with a girl. Maybe with more experience I'll see. The more I experience with women the more I understand what you guys are saying. I overcame a few touching barriers with women last night and gained some confidence. I read a lot, but for me the biggest revelations come from experience.

Something that's been bugging me is how I let my friend act. Acting like I was I'm the wrong for not doing something to ask her to prom. I was afraid to say something like why should I? It obviously didn't make a difference for me. Do you guys ever talk about the stuff here in front of women? I feel like the girls would say something like "it's nice, sweet, whatever." I often don't stand up for beliefs in my eyes because I know we'll just argue and get nowhere. Why should other people get the floor and not me? I often forget to communicate a lot when in an argument anyway like justification etc. My mind freezes up a bit. I think this is because arguing is emotional for me and my ego doesn't want to lose or be wrong.

If you continue to work to the place where what others say / think bothers you less and less, that is the real power -- you will then naturally communicate this in whatever way the moment requires (could be ignoring or saying the right comment.. the moment dictates it, and it arises naturally).

Looking for the right thing to say, to show them up, to try to actively demonstrate that you don't care when you do is not going to have a powerful effect anyway, so who gives a shit what other things you could have said/done, ie 'why you let him do that.' What you can *actually* do right now that will have some value is to explore within yourself what bothers you about it and why.

I am projecting here, but noone goes through life without hearing comments and little talks like that. Even only knowing him from a forum, what do you picture The Kidd doing - some big speech "noone tells me how to live my life, I do what I want, I am the man" or being there calmly, perhaps even laughing his ass off on the inside?
It doesn't mean much to 'understand' it on that level. I wouldn't even believe it until you see it and do the work to test it for yourself.

There are things you can only get with a woman on a pure level, like you can only taste an apple by biting into an apple -- her skin, touching, sex, perhaps a particular connection with that person- it's nice, but it is what it is. All the emotional stuff, the 'warmth' or validation or feeling like a man, accomplishment, the hero's journey out of whether you get them or play it right or not, that's all assigned by you onto it.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

Yeah, I think its important to realize that there are nice things about women and having them around. There are guys that get into an angry and bitter place over women and say "fuck it, who needs them anyway - they're bitches and everything they can give me I don't want."

The important thing about the nice things women can bring to the table are:

1) recognizing them for what they are and not assigning meaning or additional value to them inside your head like Flow said.
2) realizing that the things they can give you are things you do not need. It doesn't mean they aren't nice to get, but you don't need them. Its like ice cream - you never need it, and there are times where it will make you feel worse if you do eat it, but it certainly can be nice to have a cone or a bowl of it to eat.

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"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho

There is nothing worse than a guy talking for 20 minutes / 200 posts about how much he doesn't care about something.

You don't care about the world chess championships. You don't have any emotional reaction in any way to that topic.

I stand by the principle that you will get infinitely more mileage out of using a topic that has charge for and triggers for you, and has elements of it you desire - ie women, to explore, confront and know yourself -- rather than *solely* focus on what do i say, do, etc to get her/what I want (which has its place too).

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

Very well said, my friend!

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

You've addressed something, building off of Flow, that I've been thinking about. I love being touched by women. I love the soft skin of women. Not doing/recieving it much however lends to a needy mindset for me. "Its like ice cream - you never need it," that's perfect.

Lately my philosophy is to just try things. Like prom whatever just for the experience. I gained confidence at prom and had some realizations about my peers/life. Also I had fun.