This is so awful that I just can't

Get your feelings in check my guy.

Ha, bite me. I would have preferred Kidd to give advice instead of acting like I made his eyes bleed and gave him a heart attack
It's bad, no shit. However my outburst was unnecessery.

Maybe I really did make his eyes bleed...whatever.

I didn't want to post about this because I knew I would get my ass kicked, but I need this reviewed.

Basically I just started working last summer and there was an older chick about mid-tewenties (shes older than me) that I had a crush on, basically longing for.

long story short, She rejected me about like 4 times, and I got in trouble persisting. Before she even gave me her number, she stated she didn't have time for guys right now (which was a lie) and She would always reject my offers to meet up over text.I still persisted and made a couple of hard moves which got me in trouble with the bf, Both of them were cool about it though, LOL shit was funny.

Basically my unresloved issues and desperation is what caused this to happen.

Alright the actual issue-
So she put me in the "friendzone" and still talks to me, I'm like whatever because I still have feelings for her and I kind of have to talk to her at work. She asked me if If I had a girlfriend, but this happend lately and bugged me

"Do you wanna get married and have kids?"

I replied that I was open to it. I wondered if I should have said no, but that's not the point. I had conflicting feelings come up after the question. I wanted to know why she asked this question, what did it mean.

Why?
I still wanted her to like me and go out with me/consider me a possible mate.
Why?
she made me feel good, warm on the inside-Meaning-Being with her would make me feel good about myself.
Is this true?
Hell no.

Alright so what can I do?
Feel your feelings in your gut but realize that I don't have to act on them at all.
Don't really communcate with her unless she starts or you need to (put it what she does)
Remember women that like you make it easy for you, all that work was unecessary.
Let go, focus on yourself and other shit you wanna do, when your are in contact with her.

She has a motherish vibe, I know that's important too, i'll look into it later.

I didn't want to post about this because I knew I would get my ass kicked, but I need this reviewed.

Basically I just started working last summer and there was an older chick about mid-tewenties (shes older than me) that I had a crush on, basically longing for.

I started talking to her at work and we hit it off well (Had a lot of simillarities). Before she even gave me her number, she stated she didn't have time for guys right now (which was a lie), I persisted and eventually got her number.

Anyway long story short, She rejected me about like 4 times, and I got in trouble persisting.

She would always reject my offers to meet up over text.

I still persisted and made a couple of hard moves which got me in trouble with the bf

Basically my unresloved issues and desperation is what caused this to happen.

So she put me in the "friendzone" and still talks to me, I'm like whatever because I still have feelings for her and I kind of have to talk to her at work.

She asked me if If I had a girlfriend, but this happend lately and bugged me
"Do you wanna get married and have kids?"
I replied that I was open to it. I wondered if I should have said no, but that's not the point.

I had conflicting feelings come up after the question. I wanted to know why she asked this question, what did it mean.

she made me feel good, warm on the inside-Meaning-Being with her would make me feel good about myself.
Is this true?
Hell no.

She has a motherish vibe, I know that's important too, i'll look into it later.

Straight up tho you said everything...what would you have liked me to say?

All I can say is that you knew better and let emotion override logic. You had all of the answers and STILL went out like a sucka. Shit is painfully ridiculous.

The ironic thing is ( if my impression of you is correct) that a woman at this point would only make things worse for you.

Women are not the answer. At this stage, you need to keep personal relationships with women minimal and focus on yourself. Forget about dating and fucking for now. Focus on yourself. The time for introspection is now.

-Forget about women. Focus on yourself. Women cannot fulfill your emotional needs. The good news is that you can. However, you need to do some real introspective work and face the truth about yourself. This doesn't mean reading books by "gurus" or engaging in new age hooey, I means sitting down with you demons and coming to terms with them. Change what you can and accept that which you cannot.

She asked me if If I had a girlfriend,

"Do you wanna get married and have kids?"

Surprised that you wanted advice after you knew where you lost your way.

Even more surprised that you were surprised at the reaction you got.

I would say:

This should have been you biggest warning sign. No worthy man ever gets asked this question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI3evQYJ6b4

If you spent less time fucking about and spent more actually putting in the work, you'd see the response you so desire. No one is spoon fed around here.

Get use to a little constructive criticism, your little ego is all kinds of whacked out.

Straight up tho you said everything...what would you have liked me to say?

All I can say is that you knew better and let emotion override logic. You had all of the answers and STILL went out like a sucka. Shit is painfully ridiculous.

No, having a "crush" is Matrix poison horse shit. Stop it. Never have a "crush" or a "longing" for a woman or anyone else. The sooner you put a lid on these feelings, the happier you will be. Also, to pine for another person devalues you immensely. You must find the reason why you would ever have such feelings for a person and confront it immediately.

Yeah, I'll stop it.
Never fucking devalue yourself like that. "Persisting", as you have acknowledged, reeks of desperation. The hungry never get fed. At your stage, you won't be able to help how you feel but please don't act on your emotions in this manner. Iceberg Slim had a "steel lid" on his emotions, and you would do well to follow suit.

Ok, looks like it's just a willpower issue.


You should have said no. Why? Because I would wager that was you true sentiment on the issue.

Always be true to yourself. You won't recognize the value of that unless you practice it.

Even if somehow being dishonest about your opinion on having kids and getting married swayed her opinion of your in your favor, you would have betrayed the truth eventually anyway.

Again, be true to yourself. It's just better that way. When it comes to lying, the only thing more detrimental than lying to another person is lying to yourself.

Ok, I think I was afraid of what she might think, which is dumb when you look at it, first why the fuck do I care what she thinks? Second she doesn't like me like that so It doesn't matter anyway.
You know the answers to these questions.

If you're looking for the analysis of this bit by an armchair psychologist, I would say that you have very low self-worth and you have some kind of void (maybe abandonment issues?) that you think you can fill with a woman or something else.

Correct, but I don't think its abandoment. My parents have always been with me. However they were always very critical of me when I was younger. I probably took that stuff to heart and didn't feel loved or more accuratly, accepted for who I was. This translates into me trying to have the same relationship with this girl (Trying to get the parental/mother acceptacce I never felt I got)

Protip: You can't.

I guess you just leave it be then.

Look into it now. Don't avoid introspection. Putting it off is basically aversion. If on your journey you find a path that you want to avoid, that path is the one you need to take the most.


Have the reason up above, She reminds me of my mother in some aspects, seemingly caring about my issues and such, most of it is probably projection of an image I wanted her to be. I have to look at all the aspects and see someone as they are not what I hope them to be.


Overall...

-Forget about this female. If you ever had any chance at all with her, it is gone. The stink of your desperation and neediness scared her ass away.

-Forget about women. Focus on yourself. Women cannot fulfill your emotional needs. The good news is that you can. However, you need to do some real introspective work and face the truth about yourself. This doesn't mean reading books by "gurus" or engaging in new age hooey, I means sitting down with you demons and coming to terms with them. Change what you can and accept that which you cannot.

The rest is in your hands. We have many resources here, as well as evidence that The Way of Pimp Tightness is the grandest way for a man to live. However, we don't expect you to take it on faith. Instead, we ask that you put some real effort it prove it to yourself. If you are honest with yourself and you don't cower from your demons, you will be ready to take the red pill. You have already shown in your post you are capable of at least seeing some of your faults and that you can examine yourself to an extent. This is promising to me.

The Pokemon Trainer has spoken.

Yeah, I'm done with focusing on women, I just wanted that shit cleared up and to know if I was on the right path. Thanks PKMT

Why did you have a longing for her?

Unrelsoved mother issues-Feel that I need acceptance or love and that it will bring me peace?
Why?
I felt that I needed this pain in my gut to go away and that get this will make it go away.
Why?
Because I belived in what society/peer presure said about relationships and think that it actually mattered (everything will be fixed if your in love)
Why?
When I was younger I was more impressionable.

Will having a relationship bring you peace, love,pleasure, and acceptance?
No,Not fully at least, Neediness would still be there.
Will a relationship close the hole cause by ^This what you think you need?
No, I would still feel like my needs arn't getting met for whatever reason
Do you need the hole closed?
No, leave it be
Do you need peace, love and accpetance?
Nah, if anything I need to relax............and just chill.


Convince me there was a good reason?
Not really.

What was it about her that triggered this feeling inside of you?
I found her attractive, and I think I admired her extroverted qualities.(qualities I didn't feel I had) Her habits.
What is it in you that responded to her in this way? What did you trigger?


My need for acceptance, I viewed her as better than me, because of her qualities, habits and attractiveness. I felt the need to prove myself to her-no prove to myself that I could get her so I could feel good about myself
This should have been your first warning sign.

She told you she would waste your time and that she did not really want you to have her number. Yet you persisted and got it anyway.

Which leads onto:
Of course she rejected you, she had told you she was going to, back when you went to all that effort to get her number.

She was just doing what she said she would do.

The question is, why did you persist?
Wanting to prove to myself, wanting acceptance,Not realizing the value of my time.
So, she resisted giving her number, she then resisted meeting up and then you still persisted and made some 'hard moves'.

What part of 'not interested' do you not understand?
I understood it, I didn't want to believe it.

You put yourself in the friendzone, lets get that very clear.

I see
You are right, that is not the point.

The point is, you did not give an honest answer that you were congruent with.

As I am sure you were not in your previous dealings with her.

Mhmm
So, her rejecting you and not being interested in you, made you feel warm on the inside and good about yourself.

That there is something to do some introspection on.

Um..The only thing I can attribute to that is the relationship with my mother, I must have felt she was not interested in me, and this was similar.
Unresolved parent issues?

Yes I believe I adressed it above

Surprised that you wanted advice after you knew where you lost your way.

Even more surprised that you were surprised at the reaction you got.

Just needed to make sure

This should have been you biggest warning sign. No worthy man ever gets asked this question

LOL, that I didn't know, shit through me off.

funny Golden Boi!
PMT, nice break down!

I think he wants to prove to himself that he can "wear" her down...

you need to let the work relationship be the work relationship, besides that, "ice up" Flux.

Alright, I think I'm just gonna do majority of this work offline. lol I need to trust myself more.I guess I'll post every now an then about my situation for you guys to jugde any growth. Need to start on this meditation, and Yeah I'm done with women. However that was bugging me since I started working there I figured I needed to get it out.

===================

Yeah...but I'm done with her. Don't worry I'm putting it behind me.

I deleted about 200ppl off Facebook after I graduated. An action I still regret , keep em' all. Someday it will make sense

Funny thing is although I don't hear about them, they hear about me from others

So I guess it doesn't matter either way.