Natural Freedom

I didn't want to post about this because I knew I would get my ass kicked, but I need this reviewed.

Basically I just started working last summer and there was an older chick about mid-tewenties (shes older than me) that I had a crush on, basically longing for. I started talking to her at work and we hit it off well (Had a lot of simillarities) and eventually got her number.

Anyway long story short, She rejected me about like 4 times, and I got in trouble persisting. Before she even gave me her number, she stated she didn't have time for guys right now (which was a lie) and She would always reject my offers to meet up over text.I still persisted and made a couple of hard moves which got me in trouble with the bf, Both of them were cool about it though, LOL shit was funny.
Basically my unresloved issues and desperation is what caused this to happen.

Alright the actual issue-
So she put me in the "friendzone" and still talks to me, I'm like whatever because I still have feelings for her and I kind of have to talk to her at work. She asked me if If I had a girlfriend, but this happend lately and bugged me

"Do you wanna get married and have kids?"

I replied that I was open to it. I wondered if I should have said no, but that's not the point. I had conflicting feelings come up after the question. I wanted to know why she asked this question, what did it mean.

Why?
I still wanted her to like me and go out with me/consider me a possible mate.
Why?
she made me feel good, warm on the inside-Meaning-Being with her would make me feel good about myself.
Is this true?
Hell no.

Alright so what can I do?
Feel your feelings in your gut but realize that I don't have to act on them at all.
Don't really communcate with her unless she starts or you need to (put it what she does)
Remember women that like you make it easy for you, all that work was unecessary.
Let go, focus on yourself and other shit you wanna do, when your are in contact with her.

She has a motherish vibe, I know that's important too, i'll look into it later.

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"...There is only one thing you can do. Master that one thing!...What you must be doing is visualizing yourself at your most powerful. You don't need any external enemies. The only opponent you must fight, is none other than your own image."

This is so awful that I just can't

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Fine. This reaction was expected. So i should just drop this instead of finding out what is triggering/internal issue?
Fuck it then

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"...There is only one thing you can do. Master that one thing!...What you must be doing is visualizing yourself at your most powerful. You don't need any external enemies. The only opponent you must fight, is none other than your own image."

Get your feelings in check my guy.

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And what is fear of need but need itself?

Ha, bite me. I would have preferred Kidd to give advice instead of acting like I made his eyes bleed and gave him a heart attack
It's bad, no shit. However my outburst was unnecessery.

Maybe I really did make his eyes bleed...whatever.

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"...There is only one thing you can do. Master that one thing!...What you must be doing is visualizing yourself at your most powerful. You don't need any external enemies. The only opponent you must fight, is none other than your own image."

If you spent less time fucking about and spent more actually putting in the work, you'd see the response you so desire. No one is spoon fed around here.

Get use to a little constructive criticism, your little ego is all kinds of whacked out.

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And what is fear of need but need itself?

Straight up tho you said everything...what would you have liked me to say?

All I can say is that you knew better and let emotion override logic. You had all of the answers and STILL went out like a sucka. Shit is painfully ridiculous.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

The reason is because when it comes to newbies, Kidd has to do the heavy lifting most of the time, with Good Sir 'Grinus as backup. Don't take it personally. He only has so much mental stamina.

The modus operandi around here is that we don't don't give out free hand jobs. There are enough puppies, rainbows and steak sandwiches (nods to The Kidd!!) in The Matrix as it is, and we keep them in very limited supply around here. You knew what you were in for when you posted this, so don't cop a bloody attitude. Tough love is what the doctor ordered.

I will address your post.
Good, you're beginning to face the truth. Most people run away from it.
No, having a "crush" is Matrix poison horse shit. Stop it. Never have a "crush" or a "longing" for a woman or anyone else. The sooner you put a lid on these feelings, the happier you will be. Also, to pine for another person devalues you immensely. You must find the reason why you would ever have such feelings for a person and confront it immediately.
Never fucking devalue yourself like that. "Persisting", as you have acknowledged, reeks of desperation. The hungry never get fed. At your stage, you won't be able to help how you feel but please don't act on your emotions in this manner. Iceberg Slim had a "steel lid" on his emotions, and you would do well to follow suit.

However the last bit is good in that you at least are beginning to learn about the causes of your deprecating actions.


You should have said no. Why? Because I would wager that was you true sentiment on the issue.

Always be true to yourself. You won't recognize the value of that unless you practice it.

Even if somehow being dishonest about your opinion on having kids and getting married swayed her opinion of your in your favor, you would have betrayed the truth eventually anyway.

Again, be true to yourself. It's just better that way. When it comes to lying, the only thing more detrimental than lying to another person is lying to yourself.
You know the answers to these questions.

If you're looking for the analysis of this bit by an armchair psychologist, I would say that you have very low self-worth and you have some kind of void (maybe abandonment issues?) that you think you can fill with a woman or something else.

Protip: You can't.

The ironic thing is ( if my impression of you is correct) that a woman at this point would only make things worse for you.

Women are not the answer. At this stage, you need to keep personal relationships with women minimal and focus on yourself. Forget about dating and fucking for now. Focus on yourself. The time for introspection is now.
Look into it now. Don't avoid introspection. Putting it off is basically aversion. If on your journey you find a path that you want to avoid, that path is the one you need to take the most.

Overall...

-Forget about this female. If you ever had any chance at all with her, it is gone. The stink of your desperation and neediness scared her ass away.

-Forget about women. Focus on yourself. Women cannot fulfill your emotional needs. The good news is that you can. However, you need to do some real introspective work and face the truth about yourself. This doesn't mean reading books by "gurus" or engaging in new age hooey, I means sitting down with you demons and coming to terms with them. Change what you can and accept that which you cannot.

The rest is in your hands. We have many resources here, as well as evidence that The Way of Pimp Tightness is the grandest way for a man to live. However, we don't expect you to take it on faith. Instead, we ask that you put some real effort it prove it to yourself. If you are honest with yourself and you don't cower from your demons, you will be ready to take the red pill. You have already shown in your post you are capable of at least seeing some of your faults and that you can examine yourself to an extent. This is promising to me.

The Pokemon Trainer has spoken.

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

Nice post PMT

--
So, after the entree, how about the soup course: Wow, talk about a double standard.

So you want this reviewed without your ass being kicked, ok.
Why did you have a longing for her?

Convince me there was a good reason?

What was it about her that triggered this feeling inside of you?

What is it in you that responded to her in this way? What did you trigger?
This should have been your first warning sign.

She told you she would waste your time and that she did not really want you to have her number. Yet you persisted and got it anyway.

Which leads onto:
Of course she rejected you, she had told you she was going to, back when you went to all that effort to get her number.

She was just doing what she said she would do.
Of course she did.

The question is, why did you persist?
So, she resisted giving her number, she then resisted meeting up and then you still persisted and made some 'hard moves'.

What part of 'not interested' do you not understand?

Yup.
You put yourself in the friendzone, lets get that very clear.
You are right, that is not the point.

The point is, you did not give an honest answer that you were congruent with.

As I am sure you were not in your previous dealings with her.
It is irrelevant.

So, her rejecting you and not being interested in you, made you feel warm on the inside and good about yourself.

That there is something to do some introspection on.
Unresolved parent issues?

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI3evQYJ6b4

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

Great post PMT and Grinus. Nice work on the heavy lifting.
I just wanted to reiterate these points. Maybe you should set down a certain amount of time, like 4 or 6 months, and say that for that period you're going to straight up ignore women, even if you they are jocking you. Observe yes, but take zero action whatsoever.

I did this and it was very helpful. Many other guys here have done this - I believe Grinus even went a couple years. It will force you to sack up and work on yourself.

Also GB - classic.

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"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho

Surprised that you wanted advice after you knew where you lost your way.

Even more surprised that you were surprised at the reaction you got.

I would say:

This should have been you biggest warning sign. No worthy man ever gets asked this question.

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Sparkling All Over

Yeah, that's like something a mother asks her son...

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

funny Golden Boi!
PMT, nice break down!

I think he wants to prove to himself that he can "wear" her down...

you need to let the work relationship be the work relationship, besides that, "ice up" Flux.

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

My fault, I thought this was part of the work the only reason I posted this was to make sure my analyzing skills were good enough to do it on my own. Yeah you're right about my outbursts I knew better.
Again I needed to make sure my analyzing skills were up to par, probably meaning I don't trust myself enough which is something to look into.

Alright, I think I'm just gonna do majority of this work offline. lol I need to trust myself more.I guess I'll post every now an then about my situation for you guys to jugde any growth. Need to start on this meditation, and Yeah I'm done with women. However that was bugging me since I started working there I figured I needed to get it out.

Yeah...but I'm done with her. Don't worry I'm putting it behind me.

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"...There is only one thing you can do. Master that one thing!...What you must be doing is visualizing yourself at your most powerful. You don't need any external enemies. The only opponent you must fight, is none other than your own image."

You have shown great maturity and promise in this post.

Well done.

As my main mane Prodigy put it, you do need to "ice up". This means not acting on your emotions. It's okay to feel emotions. Indeed, as human beings who are not far removed from our primitive ancestors, we cannot help but feel emotions. However, the important thing is to stay cool and collected at all times, even in the hottest rage and deepest sadness. Stay. In. Check.

Eventually, you will find that there is less of a contrast between your emotions and your actions, and you will be as collected on the inside as on the outside. That's how it worked for me, anyway. It also saved my ass here and there from making some foolish choices. Remaining collected and logical in a world where emotions and irrational thinking reign supreme is infinitely valuable. Believe me when I say that being ice cold will yield positive results quite quickly indeed.

Another bit of advice is to commit social suicide. Get rid of Faceyspace, Twatter, Instawank and anything else. Don't go out of your way to communicate with anyone. Drop off the face of the planet. There are so many benefits to this that I would surpass the character limit by listing them all. However, here are the most important ones:

-By disappearing, you evoke an air of mystery. Familiarity breeds contempt, and being less accessible gives you a value boost.

-Those who really value you will seek you out. You may find that some people who you thought cared about you and were your friends don't really give hoot about you. On the flip side, you will also find your true allies this way. Many of my friends sought me out when they couldn't find me on Facebook or Skype. Some of them went to great lengths to find me. I actually gave one of my pals a good scare when they did a search for me online and found the obituary of another person with the same name and logistics as me!

-Faceyspace needs to go because you can't get cold and centered if you are constantly being heated and shaken up by stupid debates, drama and pictures of your ex tonging down other guys. Your give-a-fuck meter will fall to very low levels eventually and you will be able to return if you so desire, but don't do so for a long time if you do at all and even then be very selective about who you add. I have 10 friends on my Facebook. I used to have 400+. Give yourself value. Don't waste even a second of your time looking at the pictures and status updates of someone who scarcely remembers even meeting you.

==================================

Remember, to see The Matrix for what it is, you must remove yourself from it and look at it from the outside. You can't do that if you are constantly distracted by matrix-contaminated people, narcissistic social networking and irradiated media. Shut the iron door of your fallout shelter and keep it locked. In the mean time, focus on yourself, read the contents of this site and apply what you are learning in real field tests. This may take you some time, so crack open a soda, open a bag of chips, get a copy of The Manipulated Man and find a cozy chair. Once I actually stopped jerking off and put in the work, it took me about 4-6 months to swallow the red pill.

That's all the advice I can think of right now. Besides, it's best not to overload you with information.

The ball is in your court now. Go for the slam dunk.

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLwpBLzepEM#t=11m38s for 40 seconds, straight from legend Don Rickles

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

I deleted about 200ppl off Facebook after I graduated. An action I still regret , keep em' all. Someday it will make sense

Funny thing is although I don't hear about them, they hear about me from others

So I guess it doesn't matter either way.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Swallow some of that pride and re-friend a few.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

oh, facebook has it's moments and serves it's purpose.

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim