Natural Freedom

Monday was a pretty slow night at the shop up until about 8. The bar next door was having a few live performances so that brought a little crowd. I was outside skating just practicing tricks. I noticed 3 fly girls congregated by the bar kinda looking over at the shop every few seconds. A few minutes later they started walking towards the shop. I held the door open for them and said "Hi ladies."
Two of them were a little older in their thirties. The third was younger about 21. They all started throwing their ideas at me. I tried to take care of the two older ladies first but they werent sure of their idea yet so the third girl stepped up and said she wanted love on her ring finger. I told her 30 bucks. So she started filling out the waiver. I went back to try and help the other ladies but they still couldnt get it together so me and (we'll call her chelsea) went back to get started.
I started drawing the letters on paper while she was looking at all the artwork i had laying around. She told me she was a clothing designer and that she needed someone to put her ideas on paper. While i was preparing for her tattoo we were small talking. I asked her if she knew that a tattoo hurts more when you smoke weed. She said "that makes sense because sex feels more intense when youre high." I took note and started working. Our chat countinued through the tattoo but didnt get too deep. I found out that shes raised in las vegas, hungarian, black and two other ethnicities that slipped my mind. She told me that her dad was a black panther and that her clothing line was inspired by him. her friends were also getting tattoos. they had one more join them who was performing next door. I kept catching her eyes and i could tell she was trying to get some of my attention. I was friendly but not flirty like with chelsea. At one point I got up to reach my trash bin. Chelsea pointed at a few dollars sticking out and said "Baller!!" I said "one day."
When I finished her tattoo, she showed me some pictures of her clothes. Her stuff was pretty legit. She also told me she was having a contest for a t shirt design on her instagram and that i should enter it. She also had take a few pics while I was working and tagged my instagram. While i was wrapping her tattoo i said she should take my number down. She said she was just about to ask for it. I got back to cleaning my station while she went to watch her friends get tattoed. She actually didn't leave my station she just leaned over the wall and poked her ass waaay out. After they finished, Chelsea lingered for awhile then made her way to the bar.
The next day while i was on the way to pick up my daughter, i got a text from her.
Her:are you up i need to aske you something
me:yea wassup?
her:i have some ideas i need you to draw up...
me:yea i got you. shirt designs or what?
her:yes!!

By that time i already had my daughter with me. We were waiting at a bus stop. Chelsea called me. She basically wanted me to draw a panther head. We talked about it and then I told her I was with my daughter. She apologized and said we can talk later. I said it's cool, we can talk if you want. so we ended up talking for a minute til she started ranting about her friends. I told her the bus was there and id talk to her later. I found out alot of how she feels like her friends walk over her. She also kept insisting that i hurry up and enter her contest "cause I draw dope." She ended up calling me the next day and we had another chat. Twice in the day actually. The next day, i felt like i should call her so i did. she sid she was just thinking about calling me but she already did two days in a row and she didnt want to bug. I told her dont be afraid to call me when she wants to. she said " I like that!" I said "Calm down. my minutes aint free!" She laughed.
When i finishes the drawing i called her. She asked me send it so she can see it. My phone doesnt send pictures so we had alittle static over how i could send it. she said " youre a baller, Why dont you get a camera phone?" I said "I wish i was a baller but im not. Maybe you could help me with that " She was quiet. I told her I would find a way to send it to her. I did Last night but Haven't heard from her yet.
I forgot to mention that in one of the early phone convos she got excited and said "You have wonderful amazing day." I said "You do it too." (meaning to say you do the same.) She said " OOOH yeah ima do it yeah!" all sexually. Another conversation she said something like "Were you thinking about me? when you did such and such?" and I said no but I thought about you while i was working on your picture. She said " oooh I really like that!!" last night while on the phone She askes me if i would do free touch ups on tattoos if needed. I said " yea Ill touch you up for free!" she said "wow" but i played it off and changed the subject anyway. I slapped myself for that one immediately. Im trying not to worry about it but i cant help but think that messed up the flow of things, even though she was saying shit like that first.
I was wondering what you guys think about how this whole thing played out. im still working on observing more than just the obvious. I feel I should fall back now and see what she does at this point.

_________________
Mind Your Wants 'Cause Someone Wants Your Mind! -Sugafree

If You Ain't The Shit To You Then Who Are You The Shit To??? -Sugafree

I think you gave a bit away with this line. Kind of screams insecurity and passive-aggression. Not saying you're an insecure person but she may have sensed some doubt or emotional baggage on your part about your job or financial state.

That being said, I think there is much more to the fact that she was calling you a baller. I think she digged your state namely your contentedness and control over the environment in which she met you.

In essence, I think she was commenting on a lot more than just your financial state when she was calling you a baller. When you exposed in your response that you were only looking at the 'baller' comment as a comment on your finances, she may have seen this has a sign of weakness; she noticed your self-consciousness.

Furthermore, "Maybe you could help me with that" is a rather weak statement don't you think. If you're going to acknowledge an aspect of your life as a problem or as something that needs improvement, why not be proactive about it? Why should she 'maybe' help you with it.

Finally, don't worry about it too much bro. Girls live for testing us men and seeing what kind of reaction they can get out of us. Power is gained and lost all the time, but she still seems more invested than you so just give it some time and see how it develops. You may have to ball steal when the time is right, but don't jump the gun just yet.

Oh and on the sexual innuendo...for any sexual escalation, if met with resistant willingness, just take a step back and regroup. Bitches love it when you turn up the heat, and then just leave it alone like you never said or did anything. Don't confuse those last words as advice to play games or dance around the whole sex topic. Basically, girls can never partake in any actions that will cause society to view them as promiscuous or slutty...they are conditioned so much so that they are extremely cautious with this until you get past a certain point. You just have to let her work herself up enough to the point where her emotions rationalize (only women...i swear to god ) being sexual with you

You are slowly giving away your power and the mystery aura and making yourself too available when you did this.
She chose you so now she' comfortable
If that is the case tell that bitch to eddy up , Shit ain't free know your worth home boy see how far she is willing to go for you to enter this contest. She is obviously going to use you so why not do the same and I'm not talking about getting some tail that is a reward more for her than it is for you. I'm talking something along the lines of her cooking, coughing some monies for your time and talent, clothes, leverage that shit.

If your truly indifferent you don't give a fuck where the interaction goes because you aren't invested she is.
No, no, no you're filling space and now this puts you in chase a ho mode you basically gave up ball control.
You basically handed over balls to her at this point women don't like men that are too available makes them look needy and that she can manipulate you you went from indifferent to invested. Don't worry I did this a lot as well I picked up on it and learned to just let things happen and let go of control.
I liked this you managed to take back some control
i

Ehh You totally lost it at this point charge this one to the game she was the one chasing you and doing the work all you had to do (in Star Aboves words) is be awesome, do you, and leverage her wants to what you want, if she is going to use you might as well use her ya digg. I agree with Jdogg you must remain strong and confident you sounded weak and helpless when you said this and that porbably was the attraction killer right there. All I can say now is give her lots of space whether she comes back around or not you shouldn't care and if you do you should push ups to figure out why, then let it go.
She was down son! most likely she wanted you to take charge on how to set the situation and circumstances up to where both parties would be happy.
Definitely charge it you basically just devalued your self worth and time and like a typical female she was seeing how far you would go for her. (ie. manipulate you into how much she can suck from you like a true parasite does and how much of a hold her pussy power has on you.)
I already told you my thoughts above. I agree you do need to observe more but more on yourself than on others, I totally agree on this last one like Grinus says Space!!

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

= I wish I was something I'm not. I'm not fine just the way I am.
= Since I think that I'm not perfect already just the way I am, I'm trying to put on a "mask" of behaviors that will get me the outcome I want (ie. the one I'm attached to).
= I'm worried that the actions I took were not the "correct" ones, and the mask I'm wearing isn't the correct mask to get this girl.

It takes time to really learn to accept yourself 100% down to your deepest core. Once you've done that, incorporating the more specific tactics of the mindset becomes much easier. I'm still working on this whole process myself, as are almost everyone here, even many guys that have been here for years. It takes time and work to accept yourself fully and be ready to meet the world without any mask on at all.

You don't second guess whether you peeled an orange "correctly" or not, you just peel it - there's nothing difficult or foreign about it, even if the orange is a different color/shape/size/texture than any other orange you've ever seen before. You don't need to posture about how you are an "expert orange-peeler", or that you have "20 years of experience peeling all different types of oranges," and that you know "just the right orange-peeling strategy for this specific orange." You just walk up and fucking peel the orange, and thats it. Even if you "fuck it up" and don't peel the orange as perfectly as somebody else, you don't give a fuck - its just an orange.

I agree with what the other guys have said in terms of specifics. But mostly, give her space, let her do what she's going to do, and take your focus and energy and turn it back on yourself. You're doing well and making progress, but keep the focus on yourself. Become your own best friend and learn to accept yourself. This might be helpful: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3213

And re-read everything in here: viewforum.php?f=20

_________________
"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho

Saw this mess coming

The gift applies to more than just actual physical things.

It's a mentality.

Didn't bother to read OP.

Calm down. Do everything twice as slow and see if that helps.

Edit: Maybe that will help you think through the concepts better. Or, do more reading on the forum. Seriously, the slower you are the more power you have. Women get uncomfortable in good way from that shit.

/thread

Fix'd

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Damn, I got fixed.

Thanks I lacked the right words to describe the process.

I tried to respond to everyone and accidentally deleted the essay i wrote, so Ill do it in pieces.
Yea man I felt it as soon as I said it. Truth is I am struggling financially and I like to believe okay with that because I'm paying dues. However when she pointed it out, I felt insecure like "she a gold digger." or she want a brotha to spoil her.
I agree it is weak. She kept saying I should get a unlimited phone and get off the minute phone cause it costs too much. At the time, I thought it was an opportunity to plant a seed.
Yea I wont worry about her. Too many hoes in Vegas!

_________________
Mind Your Wants 'Cause Someone Wants Your Mind! -Sugafree

If You Ain't The Shit To You Then Who Are You The Shit To??? -Sugafree

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!