Natural Freedom

I didn't get laid, or even see even one girl from 02Jan up until a couple weeks ago.

This wasn't by design.

In fact, I don't even recall much jocking during this time, maybe some eye contact here and there. Nothing memorable.

Kind of concerning I'm sure a lot of you would agree. Sometime in February I recall spending a couple days seriously fretting over this drastic change in circumstance. What am I doing differently, is it my hair?? I've been lifting pretty hard, do I need to read more natural freedom??

Then i let it be. Stopped trying to "figure it all out". Made the most of it all.

In retrospect...Best god-damned 4 months I have had in a long time.

woah, Kind of threw me for a loop there Steve

why is it that when some things evade us we start focusing on things we are a bit insecure about? hmmmmm

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

Almost the same.

I havn't been laid or anything for a year and half or more, but I don't regret in the in retrospection.
Not much jocking, but I havn't felt interest in many girls either
I don't think about it much now, I sometimes want to tell somebody something about girls and forget it.
Maybe it's apathy and not indiferrence, but I don't really care now.

I had one encounter last weekend, direct eye contact for longer than few seconds, we somehow connected but I didn't act, so I think I won't see her again.

In retrospect.. The time I was alone, it was really cool. I figured out a kind of bussiness I'm interested in in the long run, or at least part of it. The side effect is that I think only about money most of the time and find it hard to relax

And I thougt you where to share us, how sore is your D. with so many bombshell GFs you had riding it.

IMPORTANT!:
That's irrelevant, and even stupid to judge you about for. (Raises few important questions that still bugs you: You can check your self worth about how you judged yourself when no woman was around, either jocking/choosing?, why? what does that make/made you?) I think that was the introspection moment you mention or have to do. If you still were a pua I'm shure you would share us how you got out to clubbing 7/7 and get the same result, but rationalize different to not feel it bad. Because you think you lost your 'mojo' and you want to gain it back. But you are awake and that's the different thing.

How you feel it's more important than anything. And how you confronted your time alone the rationalizations that came by, and the demons that came back to surface renewed the inner time you made, and make pace with it and I'm pretty shure you gained a lot from that, more than if you were chasing/foocking.

In this case 'let it go' is the first thing to do, and the second is the introspection. Actually there interchangable depending on the situation.

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GMST

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Hmm went through this phase some time ago, for the time being concentrate on push ups, both mental and physical ones.

During that time I found plenty of things in me that built on over years, that needed to be removed (look at Grinus footnote). When jocking started, and conversations I found even more insecurities to get rid of (even things that on the outside don't look like insecurities, but derive from them, like smooth talking too much etc.) nowadays i treat most of my everyday experiences as mirrors of my internal state. Just observe yourself, and ask 'why?' you'll notice giving your power away, seeking for approval etc. When they pop up i notice them and don't react on them. They are just there without influencing my behaviour. The best part is that tremendous inner calm that comes with it.
Every situation can tell you something about yourself.
Last night one girl called me Hannibal Lecter lol because she said I could tell stuff about her that she didn't said to anyone. And all I did was just observing her and listening to her closely. I opened my mouth maybe 6-7 times just to check if my assumptions about her were correct. When I cut out my former pointless inner and outer blubber gut and awerness came up.

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Laying on the floor in a pool of blood and cum
My demons lay beside as I kiss them one by one
Then on that day I met a force that nothing will compare
I was born the son of evil when I fuck the devil there!