Natural Freedom

Hey guys,

The amount of inner work I'm doing is reaching critical mass. I figure I might as well get my shit sorted and go as deep as I can before college starts (2 1/2 more weeks). Reading Pimposophy/Covert Tactics, one thing really stuck out at me that I haven't done in the past - treat people (not just women) accordingly. I held them in the same regard I wish they held me (for whatever reason - popularity/hotness in a women. This resulted in awkwardness/complete lack of self-awareness and self-love.

It was hammered into my head at a very early age that if I didn't keep others happy, bad things would happen (being alone). Everybody came before me, and trying to do what I wanted, even if it had no effect on other people, was deemed selfish and a shitty overall characteristic.

So here's what it boils down to:

Fear of abandonment/aloneness ----> Constant monitoring of people's opinions of me ----> Trying to fit their mold of what I should be/absolutely no backbone whatsoever

The truth is that the only thing we can control is our own actions. Admitting that is scary, and I feared the truth. People's opinions (outside of work - bosses and such):

1) Have absolutely no bearing on what happens to me. The fact that a negative remark left me sad/angry is my own shit.
2) Is chaos. I have no control over it.

The only constant is me treating people like they treat me. I am a nice person, so unless I am not given reason not to be, that's how I'll treat others. Them taking my kindness for weakness, as Kidd said, is their problem. But I'm done with deluding myself.

I am starting to hold my own opinion of me in higher regard than other's, especially after seeing how jaded and misinformed it usually is. My own fear of what I just posted is stopping me from adopting a "pimp-tight" mentality though. So into the fire I go.

As a last note, re-reading the things in Kidd's Corner should be mandatory. So many things went over my head that I didn't notice the first couple of times. And I'm sure I haven't understood everything the last reading either.

You guys are the shit though, love this community. Peace.

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Take it easy, man. But take it.

THIS

I still wrestle with this to this day, but more in the sense of placing the expectations of MYSELF as what I should expect from others...knowing everything that I know and I STILL get burned by this (usually nothing game breaking, mind you...but just singed good enough to cut it out). This is my main Achilles heel and I can't say that I'll ever be able to completely close the book on it.

But that's ok...at least I recognize and accept it...which means that I can use my other many strengths to help cover this weakness.

...and sometimes, it turns out to be a strength in disguise!

In some instances, it usually ends up placing women I deal with in precarious situations that, once I regain my wits (and this doesn't take very long ), usually end up playing hugely in my favor.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2we_B6hDrY

sound silly but...

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“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor E. Frankl

@Kidd:

You're right, wrestling with it isn't going to change anything. Seeing it for what it is on a conscious level should mean that it has little bearing over me. So awareness is where it's at.
I'm guessing this is is as much of a mindfuck to them as it is a great example of ball stealing (in a way).

@panoramix:

Not silly at all. Accepting that I have the force, that it's in me, is my roadblock. Gotta go see my inner Yoda.

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I forgot to mention that I have episodes (like 60% of the time) where I have no desire for social contact (other than my ego tripping me up - fear of not being accepted by others, which is basically the only reason I go out with friends and don't withdraw into a shell) and feel depressed, angry, shameful, with no self-worth. I trust that this is part of the process though, so other than feeling the emotions, I'm feeling "meh" about it.

_________________
Take it easy, man. But take it.

Hmm... this is very interesting to me. Can you guys help clarify so I can make sure I understand what you're talking about:
So, basically what you're saying is that you treat a hot girl nicer than you treat one that is not hot because you are hoping that she turns around and treats you special as well?

And then you realize you're doing it, and stop yourself?

I could see how that would end up being effective ball stealing. She feels the vibe that you're treating her special which gets her attention, and if you can knock it off quick enough then she doesn't get used to it and expect it, but feels the lack of special treatment, and starts doing things to try to get it back. Then she's trying harder than you are, chasing, etc.

Is my assessment of what you guys are talking about correct?

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"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho

This was a post that really stood out to me when I first read it. If I were to translate,

They are expecting others to live up to the standards that they, knowing what they do now know, hold for themselves. And ultimately, majority of people will fall far short of these standards. It is the ego falsely believing it has some sort of influence or control over others, removing the space that allows others to follow their own journey.

However this momentary lapse which most likely goes consciously unregistered to the other, followed by a quick mindset correction may plant a seed giving this individual a small glimpse of the matrix, as well as the space to do with it as they please. Sweep it under the rug or awaken ever so slightly.

Hmm... Interesting. That wasn't how I read it. Anyone else have any thoughts?

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"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho

Stephen P hit the nail on the head. To give an example, I literally could not talk to anybody in my dorm room for a good hour because I was so angry at how they were still in the matrix and how selfish and self-centered they were. How I felt that they were all using each other in this parasitic pseudo friendship and that they act however is in their best interest at all times. It was me taking it personally (the ego Stephen described), because I think deep down, I wanted to feel some unconditional, I don't know, respect I guess. Me wanting to control it. It felt trippy as hell, I saw them as these nasty leeches. And I saw it in everyone.

Isn't my best and proudest moment, but that's about as accurate description of it as I can give you, Meraki. At least through my interpretation.

_________________
Take it easy, man. But take it.

This is also something I really experience all the time. Th values and opinion, especially about relationships, of many people i know are so different from mine that I can no longer emphasize with them. Some of the things they say or do really just want to make me throw up. they back stab, bitch, and lie all the time and then gets hurt when someone does the same. I'm just really happy that I've found friends that would never do this stuff, even tho they're firmly within the matrix.

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"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance."
- Oscar Wilde

I enjoy reading your threads Moose. Usually I can find some experience that are similar to my own journey. Great work, and keep chipping away.
Ditto this^
Isn't this the same as:

"Treat people like how you would like to be treated"?

ie: Someone treats people nicely, because either they're sincerely a nice person w/o the need to gain anything from the interaction, OR, they need the reciprocated "niceness" of others to comfort and confirm their "nice" quality in themselves (makes them feel good, because they still have the process of external validation). (Seeing the reasoning behind the action is brilliant and sweet!)

+1.
I believe it's also helpful to reread your OWN threads/posts to see limiting patterns of yourself that you might have missed before.
+1 again. Thanks fellas.



@TheKidd
Is my translation correct:

You slip at times and treat people, lets say a female, a bit nicer than usual cause you'e just feeling so fresh and up that you can't help yourself. She takes it for weakness, and you sense it immediately in which you tighten up you're demeanor, and act accordingly. She's then thrown off by this impenetrable foundation you're exuding that she's left puzzled and baffled from what your initial "niceness" response was to who you are right then and there in her presence treating her accordingly?

That sums it up rather succinctly.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Oh boy! I'm finely learning!