Natural Freedom

Ok, so its 1am, friday of Halloween weekend, I got back a few minutes ago from the "Monster Ball", but since I normally go to sleep around this time (I own my own business, so I set my hours and don't have to get up early), I'm not tired, and I've got some stuff on my mind, so I figured I'd write a post up.

First off, halloween weekend is a big deal here in the States (I think in many other countries its not that big of a holiday). Its probably the biggest party weekend of the year, and a big excuse for girls to get dressed up in the skimpiest outfits humanly possible but not be considered slutty for doing it (not sure how that works, but its pretty generally accepted). I have 7 parties to go to this weekend - 2 that I went to tonight, 3 tomorrow night, and 2 more sunday night...

Tonight started off with my good buddy and 3 of our female friends (all platonic) going to a house party that ended up being pretty lame, but at least there was plenty of good food. Then we cruised over to this big party in an indoor sports center (an astro-turf warehouse) called the Monster Ball. Probably 500 people there, a DJ, and you're required to be in costume to be let in. My buddy and I went as these two guys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0DeIqJm4vM

So, my friends and I show up around 10:30 and manage to get in for free. We head over to the dance floor and start dancing. I haven't been out dancing in a couple months because I badly hurt my foot (couldn't really even walk for a couple weeks), so this is my first time out dancing since I discovered this forum and started adopting this mindset.

I'm dancing, having a good time with my buddy and our 3 friends. One of these platonic girls is jocking me pretty hard, but I'm not that interested. I probably wouldn't kick her out of my bed, but I'm certainly not going to put any effort into getting her into it. (I owe someone a hat tip for that phrase).

Furthermore, I decided that as part of incorporating this mindset, i wasn't going to sleep with any women until I felt really indifferent and that I was my own best friend. I've been thinking about it, and I realized that the scenario that was terrifying me was the idea that I would never sleep with another woman again, and so to truly be indifferent, I still need to come to terms with that possibility and actually be OK with it.

So, as I'm dancing, I'm practicing my new powers of observation and focusing on staying calm and not letting myself get riled up and start wanting any of the girls at this party, because wanting is needy and leads to a chasing mindset, and I've already determined that I'm not sleeping with anyone tonight or in the near future. Since its halloween and the girls there are dressed in basically nothing, it was definitely a test. I found myself looking at girls a couple times, and thinking to myself, "damn, I want that". Then I would catch myself, and focus on being indifferent. I was moderately successful, I would say.

So, here's where it gets interesting. First off, I noticed that there were pretty much at least 3 girls within my perimeter all the time, trying to get me to make eye contact, and sometimes as many as 5 or 6. When they couldn't get me to give them more than a brief dismissing glance, then they would move on, but it was usually less than a minute before another girl would take her place, and stand there, dancing in place by herself, or dancing with her friends, subtly (or not so subtly) trying to get my attention. I've had this experience many times (I'm very physically attractive), but I had never noticed it to this extent before. I think before I would probably only have noticed about half the girls that I did tonight. So I think my observation skills are getting sharper.

Second interesting thing about the monster ball was the disparity in costumes between the men and women. I kid you not, at least half the men were wearing some sort of mask that hid their face (usually a very ugly mask). And of the guys on the dance floor who actually were dancing, probably more like 75% were wearing masks. (Analysis: guys are self-conscious and uncomfortable with their appearances, and feel more able to express themselves and let loose a bit when they can hide behind a mask. They don't think their appearance gives them power).

The women there (even unattractive ones) were pretty much all wearing extremely revealing outfits. Some of the outfits there were the kind you would only see any other weekend of the year in a strip club. And furthermore, the girls in the skimpier outfits were dancing more, while the girls in the more modest outfits seemed to dance less. You could tell there were numerous men hovering around the dance floor, or uncomfortably dancing while mesmerized by these girls in sexy outfits. (Analysis: women are more comfortable with their appearances, and like using them as a power play against men, even when these women are not particularly attractive).

So, while this is all good food for thought and interesting, here's what I really want your guys feedback on. In this forum there is definitely a focus on flipping the script. I did make a point to look good, but honestly I was more focused on being accurate to the skit and funny than sexy. So, would I have had the same effect on the girls there if I had dressed more like this?: http://www.showtimevegas.com/Images/Sho ... dales2.jpg

What do you guys thing - do women get as excited and riled up by attractive men dressed in revealing outfits as men do of women? Is it possible for me to wield the same level of power over women just using my appearance and outfit that attractive women do over men? Or does it communicate something entirely different when a man tries to do it?

I've heard over and over again that "men are more visual" than women, but is that really true from a really basic human nature level? What evidence is there that men are actually more visual and therefore more susceptible to scantily clad attractive women than the other way around?

Ok, that is for now - I written myself sleepy. I have more thoughts to post about in another thread, but that will have to wait till tomorrow...

_________________
"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho

It is not about the outfit.

Just as it is not about the words you say.

How you carry that outfit is what matters, just as with how you say the words.

I did not look at the outfit picture you posted because it is irrelevant.

If you turned up in an outfit and owned it and were utterly comfortable in it and your own skin, that is what would get their attention. The outfit is a red herring to a large degree. It can help, however that is not the reason, that is not the message.

There is a school of thought that says a guy without that mindset would never wear some outfits, just as you noticed with the women. Therefore some outfits will only be worn by a person at least someway along the path. The outfit is a symptom, like a sniffling nose. It still does not mean you have a cold, something could have just irritated your nose.

The outfit may catch their attention, then they will be looking for other symptoms of you having a cold, to confirm the initial diagnosis.

--

Nice writeup of an interesting evening.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Oh yes

Good times ahead for you

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

I found these gifs relevant :

You :






Women noticing you :



Me reading you :





Regarding your questions :

You can easily prove (first hand experience) whether outfit is important or not : Wear something you know is NOT fashionable, or not a shiny thing and see if it's REALLY your outfit or your 'mindset' that attracts ...

_________________
"You can tell a lot about a person by how they react when someone dies." - Charlie Kirk

Lol, Goldenboy.

You can also observe the male stripper dynamic. Women aren't attracted to them because they are in a subserviant position

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Where are you in the States?

I didn't look at the costume either.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Interesting thoughts guys. Thanks.

@ GoldenBoy -

@ Grinus - very insightful, as usual... This in particular:
So, in essence yes - outfit does matter, but its only a modulating factor, not causative. Insecure overweight guy with no self confidence is more likely to wear a gorilla suit so he can hide behind the mask, but a PTI in a gorilla suit could own it and make it work pretty darn well.

But the same PTI guy might be able to do even slightly better with an epic outfit that draws attention and is enticing. I mean, Iceberg Slim (and pimps in general) definitely used clothing as part of their play against hoes - hence the prototypical full length mink coat and lots of bling...

@ Kidd - I'll PM you the actual city, but suffice it to say I live in a less than 100,000 person city thats pretty isolated, somewhat close to the west coast...

_________________
"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho