Natural Freedom

I just got out of a relationship with a woman i was with for three years.It was my first girlfriend i ever had and the first woman i ever slept with. In the beginning things were great, but like many relationships she started becoming demanding and controlling.Looking back, i realize that this was because i allowed it to happen.I tried being even more nice and loving to her but got nothing in return.Anyways, it has been 2 months since she broke up with me and while i am still devasted and not completely over her, i think it was a good learning experience. I also promise myself,that i will never become controlled like that again.Woman will always test you and just because they love you for the time being it is just conditional,which brings me here. I am going to learn how to shatter the bullshit defenses that they have been trained to put up.

Good thing you realized it now instead of realizing it when married and with kids like most. Now pat yourself off and move into the land of freedom.

All the best brother..

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And what is fear of need but need itself?

That's a deal breaker and it always creates the opposite effect, even with the nicest girls.

She was over you before she ended it, so do yourself a service and move on.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

It's not that you are nice to her, it's the reason behind it.

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Sparkling All Over

Something that i have been curious about for sometime

During the end of the relationship there was a time where she told me that one of her coworkers will be taking her out to dinner.Anyways,the following day she told me that he came over to her place and didn't like what she offered to cook him so she went to the store and bought him some food.Now, in this situation i was really hurt(i was her bf and she wouldnt even do that for me) however i acted like it didnt effect and let her do it.Should i have been more alpha and tell her that i will not accept this behavior and will breakup with her or did i do the right thing?.The reason i ask is because in the Kidds example with his girl, he gave her the space to go through what she was going through but in the meantime aren't you being walked all over when you allow your gf to do this?

She wasn't my girlfriend during that period...and telling them to do something doesn't really matter...they are gonna do whatever they want to do anyway.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

once a woman decides she wants space or a break, certain privileges WILL END! she only told you all that bullshit to get a lasting reaction out of you. "acting ALPHA" wouldn't have changed the situation because guess what? it wouldn't be real. build yourself and next time let your actions speak and don't worry to verbalize anything.

Like Alchemist said, if you treat them "nicer" during those situations you are just laying down so they can walk on you some more.

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

So I did the right thing by not stopping her?What is one thing that i could have done that wouldn't be sympish?Tell her to go ahead and see the guy that and then stop calling her after that?One thing i heard is if you don't have a backbone and tell a woman that what she is doing is not right to you she would lose respect for you and then cheat on you because you failed stand up for yourself. I'm having a difficulty differentiating on how passiveness in this situation from a symp would differ from pimp-tight passiveness because the end result is the same..ie failing to communicate that what she did is not tolerable.

Oh i get it now..Once she decided that she is going on a date with the guy she is not my GF anymore even though she never mentioned that we are broken up..At that point you stop treating them like they are your girlfriend since they are doing the same..This is what you mean when you say treat other's accordingly

me doesn't understand what privileges.

Lol, one thing you could have done that wouldn't be simpish would be to encourage her.

When she's like I'm going over to buddy's place to cook him dinner just be like.

Oh, your going to make him dinner at his place? Sounds fun I won't wait up then. I'm out though all this talk of food is making me hungry. Gonna make myself a sandwich

Throw her for a loop by not giving her the reaction she wants. She wants you to puff your chest, act alpha, and give a shit. So DON'T! Ffs lol.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

I don't treat a Personal Girlfriend the same as I would treat a fuck buddy.
you can't decide at that moment...there must be some action before this that should tip you off that circumstances have changed. I don't wait for a woman to tell me it is over, once she start acting a certain way, my actions start telling her that SHE is no longer a "Main". what she wants to do after that is of no Major concern to me. anything she does after that is to get some ego validating response from you.

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

Morpheus, if she and I are still living at this stage and she does this it's clearly for a reaction. if her ass was really moving on, and her new courtier was Soooooo into her, he would be trying to get her out of your vicinity. dudes bang chicks like these because they are sitting ducks. chicks do this shit because it quenches that void which was created by you in the first place. you never over feed the beast and you never underfeed it. chicks just don't have the capacity to understand how much they need to be fed. so if she ( like my ex was trying to do) was stepping out, why is it sooo important for her to tell you? why is it so important for me to know. knowing or not knowing I doesn't really matter if you are separated. in essence, their move signifies that they want you to move on, but when you do and when they see with who

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

I agree, that's an appetite that cannot be filled though.

Too much work imo, next her.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Funny thing is that one sunday i didnt show up to her place and she went cold ignoring my phone calls.And i was acting like a symp sending her texts apologizing for things i didn't do.

1)I went to her house on two different occasions.I rang the door she didn't answer
2)Continued trying to get a hold of her
3)3 weeks after she ignored me i couldn't take it anymore and sent her a text saying "Are we still together?..I understand if you don't want to be together but please don't leave me hanging).She replies the following day telling me to meet her at her place
4)She breaks up with me we should be friends and she will call me when she needs my help.I actually started getting teary eyed.At the end she says do you hope i find a Boyfriend?I said you had one.
5)3 weeks later i take her out for dinner(Now that i think of this sympish behavior..im glad she dumped me)She tells me that there is something she wanted to tell me after the breakup.She says that "Women are like a fruit with different flavors and should be eating i want you to date other woman ".I felt like someone was fucking with my brain.This is typically advice that a man gives to another man aka david x but it was coming from her.Kidd was right when he says that women are the biggest pimps.

Everytime i play this movie in my head i wonder why i was such a fucking symp. If only i had discovered this forum earlier i could have realized that space and doing nothing would have solved everything.

That does feel very masculine.

An interesting blend of emotions on her part though. Definitely cutting you loose, sweet deals. Making room for something better

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

This role reversal was painful to read, it's a sure bet she was fuckin someone on the side for awhile before she went cold, meaning the relationship was over way before you realised it, not that it matters now though.

@Morpheus, emotions on HER part?.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Yeah, encouraging him to leave.

I'm trying to decode what emotions would have her do that while as Prodigy said she didn't need to say anything.

Occam's Razor I suppose.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

You know, the part where you asked her "are we still together" reminds me of something. A girl I used to date was extremely insecure, every time we would have a fight she would ask "are you breaking up with me because of something stupid?" She would ask this because I'd ignore her and naturally that made her more anxious and nervous, I can only assume that's how you felt. At any rate, I knew the power that I had over her and lost respect for her because she always asked me the same thing over and over. I knew that I had the most power in the relationship and eventually I thought in my head.. "You know what, she keeps thinking I'm going to break up with her, that's a good idea! I'm going to break up with her!" Anyways my point is that if you ask women questions like that it'll give them an idea, it sort of sounds like begging.

Also, the part where she said she was cooking for a co-worker is highly disrespectful for you. I would have called her out on that bullshit and fired her right there. Try saying this out loud and think of how this sounds "My girlfriend is cooking food for a male co-worker of hers." I know she's your ex, but I'm just saying that it's not a good look. It shows a clear sign of disrespect when someone isn't willing to do something that they do for someone else.

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"Any good pimp is his own best company. His inner-life is so rich with cunning and scheming to out-think his whores." -Iceberg Slim

It is disrespectful, by her doing that though she has effectively fired herself. It's over. Done.

By you telling her what she already feels you take away any possibility of having fun, if you say nothing she thinks your still on the previous thought loop where you guys are a thing.

And if you tell her it's a great idea, it really throws their head for a spin haha.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."