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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 1:36 am 
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To add to this since now we're talking about "good relationships and marriage" :?

Having a woman is like having a wolf-dog. You see, a regular dog submits to a pack leader, whereas a wolf and wolf-dogs pretend too, but they're always testing the pack leader for weakness in it's armor of dominance and always sub-plotting to take over in order to get ahead and fuck the pack leader over.

Leigh, you can't honestly tell me that this great girlfriend you have (I'm not putting you or her down, don't know you's and I'm not a complete cunt) never tests you, never gets annoying, never does dumb shit that makes you shake your head? If not then you're either with an angel or not seeing the forest for the trees. But they're far from perfect, it's in her nature to test and always be looking to get ahead and go for something better, they're never satisfied man.

ps: You don't know me, so don't say "If you live your life this way this is what you'll attract", I attract fucking greatness 8-)

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:29 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
To add to this since now we're talking about "good relationships and marriage" :?

Having a woman is like having a wolf-dog. You see, a regular dog submits to a pack leader, whereas a wolf and wolf-dogs pretend too, but they're always testing the pack leader for weakness in it's armor of dominance and always sub-plotting to take over in order to get ahead and fuck the pack leader over.

Leigh, you can't honestly tell me that this great girlfriend you have (I'm not putting you or her down, don't know you's and I'm not a complete cunt) never tests you, never gets annoying, never does dumb shit that makes you shake your head? If not then you're either with an angel or not seeing the forest for the trees. But they're far from perfect, it's in her nature to test and always be looking to get ahead and go for something better, they're never satisfied man.

ps: You don't know me, so don't say "If you live your life this way this is what you'll attract", I attract fucking greatness 8-)
Star I think what he meant was that you have to find a girl that is good\nice. It has nothing to do with the law of attraction, it like: if you go to a sea full of sharks, you won't visualize the sharks are vegetarian and go to swim with them, you just look for a different sea with no sharks to swim in.

it's hard to turn a bad woman into a good one- so you just have to search for a good one (I know they are rare...)

I'm dating a nice girl now, she ain't perfect but much better than the women I dated before her.
I'm aware that there is no such thing as a perfect woman, I'm aware she has good sides and bad sides.

so far she has not given me signs that she is going to eat me (the shark analogy) but if I see that she has a plan to do so- I'll drop her.

(shark analogy was told by GP so credit goes to him)

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:50 am 
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I meant the bitches I attract with my attitude, not the law of attraction.

K, Snipes, quiz for you...what makes a girl good/nice?

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:04 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
K, Snipes, quiz for you...what makes a girl good/nice?
she gives me space
she is not so much needy
she doesn't try to control me
she doesn't think I need to spend money for her time and attention
she appreciates when I do something for her
she treats me well

Of course in regards to the above-

she might be needy once in a while and maybe once in a while she will try to control -
but not often and not in the same level as the crazy\bad women...

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:05 am 
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Sniper wrote:
Star_Above wrote:
K, Snipes, quiz for you...what makes a girl good/nice?
she gives me space
she is not so much needy
she doesn't try to control me
she doesn't think I need to spend money for her time and attention
she appreciates when I do something for her
she treats me well
And why does she act that way?

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:21 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
And why does she act that way?
because:
it's her values and beliefs system + she sees me as a man of high value I guess (she might not act like this or date me if I was a symp...)

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:23 am 
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Sniper wrote:
(she might not act like this or date me if I was a symp...)
So is she really "nice" then?

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:44 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
So is she really "nice" then?
she is nice to other people as well, but would she date them or treat them the same in a relationship?
probably not...

but we are also like that (in a way), I try to be nice to all women but that doesn't mean I will date all women, you know?

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:56 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
Leigh, you can't honestly tell me that this great girlfriend you have (I'm not putting you or her down, don't know you's and I'm not a complete cunt) never tests you, never gets annoying, never does dumb shit that makes you shake your head? If not then you're either with an angel or not seeing the forest for the trees. But they're far from perfect, it's in her nature to test and always be looking to get ahead and go for something better, they're never satisfied man.
I'm definitely not saying that.

Tests - She tests me all the time. ALL the time. She's constantly testing me just in the way that I'm testing her. I have standards and I'm only willing to accept a very specific kind of person in my life and she's exactly the same. I wouldn't be with her if she wasn't the kind of person that didn't test me. I don't want some kind of hopeless, goalless, needy and dependent woman who doesn't feel like she can't do any better with her life than accepting the first thing to come along that makes her feel less lonely. I want a strong, confident woman who has standards and is willing to fight for them. That's why I would never be with a woman that didn't test me.

Annoying things - Of course she does annoying things. But when she does them, I tell her and she stops. Just in the same way that when I'm doing something that's annoying her, she tells me and I stop.

Dumb shit that makes me shake my head - Yes, she does this as well. But it doesn't matter because I don't need her to do things that make me 'nod my head'. The thing I love most about her is her unpredictability. She's excited, she's emotional, she's gets herself in stupid situations by doing stupid things but that's ok because I'm not looking for a business partner. I don't date with women because they're good at maths. I don't sleep with women because of their sound logic and ability to accurately produce legal documents. I date women because they're fun and exciting. I've got my shit under control. I've got my shit handled. If there's a problem, I know I can solve it and I know that I don't need her around to make all the difficult shit in life go away. I've dealt with my shit and now I really like being around exciting and unpredictable people.

Of course women are going to test and of course they're always looking to get ahead. I do exactly the same thing. I'm always looking for my perfect match. I'm not with my girlfriend because she's the unlucky one who happened to fall for my stupid tricks and games. I'm with her because I haven't found anyone better. Anyone. And she's the same.

I'm with her because she's the most attractive woman I've ever met. If she want the most attractive woman I'd ever met, I wouldn't be with her. It's that simple.

She's with me because I'm the most attractive Man she's ever met. If I wasn't, she wouldn't be with me. It's that simple.

Are you trying to tell me that you don't test women to find out if they're the kind of woman you want? Of course you do. That's why you get rid of them when they give you the shits.

Are you trying to tell me that you're not trying to get ahead? That you're just satisfied with the one girl and don't look around? Come on...
Star_Above wrote:
ps: You don't know me, so don't say "If you live your life this way this is what you'll attract", I attract fucking greatness 8-)
You already said that you attract needy, clingy, dependent women. That's a really weird definition of greatness.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:09 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
quiz for you...what makes a girl good/nice?
She is independent. She doesn't need me in her life. She doesn't need to to feel happy, fulfilled, safe, and secure. She doesn't need around to know that everything is ok. She can handle her own shit. She's strong, confident, can connect with people when she wants and can handle the problems in her life without needing me to fix them.

When you have an independent Man in a relationship with an independent woman, that's when it becomes amazing. Instead of the relationship being a place of dependence with two people trying to suck as much out of each other as they possibly can, it's two people coming together to share the happiness and fulfillment they have in their lives.

This guy said it much better than me:

---------

The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those persons who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person - without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.

Then why do they want to be together? It is no longer a need; it is a luxury. Try to understand it. Real persons love each other as a luxury; it is not a need. They enjoy sharing: they have so much joy; they would like to pour it into somebody. And they know how to play their life as a solo instrument. The solo flute player knows how to enjoy his flute alone. And if he comes and finds a tabla player, a solo tabla player, they will enjoy being together and creating a harmony between the flute and the tabla. Both will enjoy it: they will both pour their richness into each other."

From Being in Love
by Osho

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:48 am 
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How interesting to see the same Osho quote show up here. Two forums in about a month :)

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 7:14 am 
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I feel you on the fact that women always have an ulterior motive Star.

Something that might be confusing for newer guys is

People gravitate toward people who they feel can fill a need. It to a large degree is one sided, they project their image of what they want on you. So if you a boss, and all these gold digging hoes show up in the vicinity doesn't mean that's a reflection of you. Taking responsibity for all situations seems self help/community(ish)

You have to know when you had a hand in the matter and when variables came into play that were out of your hands.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 7:27 am 
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Morpheus wrote:
I feel you on the fact that women always have an ulterior motive Star.

Something that might be confusing for newer guys is

People gravitate toward people who they feel can fill a need. It to a large degree is one sided, they project their image of what they want on you. So if you a boss, and all these gold digging hoes show up in the vicinity doesn't mean that's a reflection of you. Taking responsibity for all situations seems self help/community(ish)

You have to know when you had a hand in the matter and when variables came into play that were out of your hands.
we don't always control what we attract (what women are coming our way) but we can choose not to get with bad women\gold diggers and etc...

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 7:33 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
Having a woman is like having a wolf-dog. You see, a regular dog submits to a pack leader, whereas a wolf and wolf-dogs pretend too, but they're always testing the pack leader for weakness in it's armor of dominance and always sub-plotting to take over in order to get ahead and fuck the pack leader over.
This was one of the biggest stumbling blocks in the solidification process. :x

This alone pretty much put my patience bank account into overdraft. How can I be the most dominant etc, always have to worry about some power game someone was playing. And then finally it clicked and my brain was like yeah or I could just not give a shit. Worrying about some hoe struggling for dominance, or some game of who's the alpha male? Fuck that shit, imma play cod 8-)

Interestly enough, when you really don't care. They don't care either. And with women fuck I think it's the funniest shit when they play games. They always lose when they play. :D .

Dominance is an illusion, it means nothing.

In short I'd rather rack up zombie head shots than worry about silliness. :lol:

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Last edited by Altair on Mon Jul 16, 2012 7:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 7:34 am 
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Sniper wrote:
Morpheus wrote:
I feel you on the fact that women always have an ulterior motive Star.

Something that might be confusing for newer guys is

People gravitate toward people who they feel can fill a need. It to a large degree is one sided, they project their image of what they want on you. So if you a boss, and all these gold digging hoes show up in the vicinity doesn't mean that's a reflection of you. Taking responsibity for all situations seems self help/community(ish)

You have to know when you had a hand in the matter and when variables came into play that were out of your hands.
we don't always control what we attract (what women are coming our way) but we can choose not to get with bad women\gold diggers and etc...
Precisely 8-)

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 1:34 pm 
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Quote:
we don't always control what we attract (what women are coming our way) but we can choose not to get with bad women\gold diggers and etc...
Nice.

I like that this is moving into the area of power/indifference (how you react) and choice.

Sometimes this topic turns into "if you're the right guy women will never test you" or if your vibrational energy is blah blah you will only ever interact with perfect women, who don't exist any more than perfect men :roll:

If you think of this as the nature of the deal it's more useful IMHO. Women will test you to see that you have your boundaries and are who you say you are to make sure it's not an act. It's what they DO and you can get angry about it, think it means something about them/you or just deal, and know what you accept or do not accept.

It's like as men we have sexual thoughts regularly. It's what we DO, it's our nature and wiring, like the analogy of sharks will eat you -- it does not make them assholes, malicious, it's their nature. Same way a woman can say men are pigs because they have sexual thoughts, or they "shouldn't do that" -- it's not even choice. But how we act on those thoughts we can control just like they can accept responsibility for how they act / how far they push, but not for their nature.

So IMHO it is in your best interest to accept 'reality' meaning at least the nature of things and know how to deal - how to set your boundaries, without getting pissed off or thinking it makes all women [negative word of choice] - just like in nature, you deal with snakes a certain way and you deal with bears another way etc without getting all pissed off about it, there' just a lot more subtlety here. But - it gets you out of thinking it's all 'power games' but also out of magical thinking like if I just do everything 'right' i'll never have to face stuff like this.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:51 pm 
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This reminds me of my economics class. We learned that humans are very economical. They make the decision they think is best. We talked about why most people don't exercise. The Benefit of comfort and the cost of doing 'work' is greater than long term benefits. We learned you could control people to a large degree with proper incentives. Our nature is to always make the best decision and in this case be with the person we see as our best option. Man or women. Although in cases of abusive partners I guess the cost of being alone outweighs the cost of physical pain in the situation :/. We make the decision we think is best not necessarily the best one.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:05 pm 
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Wow this thread got BUSY! :shock:

Any decent woman will test you fairly often...it is the nature of the beast. Even if you've passed every single test she's ever thrown at you, there will always be yet another when you least expect it. :geek:

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 6:40 pm 
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LeighLG wrote:
Tests - She tests me all the time. ALL the time.
My point proven
Quote:
You already said that you attract needy, clingy, dependent women. That's a really weird definition of greatness.
When you are the man she's dreamed about and she can't believe how lucky she is to be with you it will bring it out in her, all of them! And someone needs to work on their sarcasm meter.
The Kidd!! wrote:
it is the nature of the beast. Even if you've passed every single test she's ever thrown at you, there will always be yet another when you least expect it.
Ya, they're GREAT girls eh :lol:

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 6:58 pm 
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Gotta love it. 8-)

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Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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