Natural Freedom

Hey guys, I start here a new "diary" where I'd like to post some of my experiences and thoughts about my journey to indifference which I've gone since three weeks conciously.

Before that, I did Natural Grounding for 9 months and I think it was great. It has helped me a lot in different areas of my life and I had great pleasure doing Natural Grounding. Altough, as Djl mentioned somewhere, it didn't make me letting go of attachements and limiting beliefs/blockages. And after all, I did it to get women which aim isn't good for true development but unavoidable to certain degree IF you don't start to let go of your attachments, your want for approval.

Three weeks ago I had a long phone coaching with Jake from Stopgivingafuck.com and it seems as a second one follows in the next days. That coaching blew me away as Jake guided me to the awareness that I want women because I want their approval, the approval from my friends when I have women and from other people. This awareness is very important and only then I think, one can really development and let go of all things that limit him

So I've done stuff from Jake since then, most of the time I do praise myself. And it starts to make a difference. I've also done visualisations and letting go of my want for approval but I would like to do that more to make it easier. And it gets easier and more effective, the more you do it.

Yesterday I had a cool evening. It was an university party where we were on a ship on a lake the first few hours and then in a club. On the boat I had a great time with my friends from university which are mostly women. I really was relaxed and I also did praise myself in the silent moments. I felt good, more calm than usual, less looking for women looking at me. I had more eye contacts than usual and especially longer ones.

Then we went to the club, some more friends arrived and we had great party. And here I also felt cool, felt comfortable in the club. I still did check the women less than usual. I kept praising myself in the right moments which really feels good. Thats true approval, approval from myself, based on nothing. I'm a great guy, why?, no reason, I just am
I had some more eye contacts especially when I checked the room.

Then I got "approached". I don't know if it really was an approach. I danced somewhere and then some one gently pinched my upper arm, I turn around and there was a beautiful Indian woman standing with that sweet Nicole Theriault like smile in her face and a body language like Palmy. And a friend of her. Both standing there and looking at me. I kind of didn't know whats going on, haha. They stood there for two seconds or so and then I turned beside so that they could pass. The reasons why I can't say if it was an approach or just a gesture asking me to free the way? Normally if someone wants to pass by, he just touches your shoulder and then walks by, and doesn't look in your eyes. Here she just stood there, waiting for me to turn around to her and then deeply smiling at me. It was like someobody you know, comes from behind, touches you and you turn around and "hey....". Lovely.

I noticed that eye contacts or that experience didn't make me as excited as in the past.

I keep you updated guys

What makes you doubt that it was an approach? (think through your thoughts and internal comments)

Why would it not be an approach?

Sounds like some doubt internally, which is a good sign of another path to explore along the way

Nice post, look forward to your future posts.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

You're right, I'm analyzing too much here. I don't know if its a doubt but I know that wether it was an approach or not, it doesn't make a difference at all.

Have you tried EFT?
I've been using EFT the last few days to help me stop caring what other people think, and it worked. Still nervous around women but that's what NG is for.

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Don't be sexist, bitches hate that.

Every tool that helps you cleaning yourself is good, so is EFT altough I don't use it much.

When it comes to cleaning, the most important part in my opinion is adressing the REAL issue. I have made enough rounds of senseless Eft using "altough I still want something from women/people, I fully accept...". You're not adressing the issue here. One should ask himself why he wants success with women so badly that he gets bad feelings around women or people in general. Most of the time its because we want the approval from women, like it is for me too. And wanting for approval comes from beliefs that you're not good enough and a lack of self-acceptance.

Only then if you're aware of the reasons of your wanting, cleaning makes sense and is helpful because you're adressing the roots of the issue, the roots of your want for women example.

Another point is, only when one is aware of his wanting for approval from women/people, one is able to have the awareness that there's something muuuch bigger than success with women/people: Freedom, which means happiness and indifference.

If you don't know why you want/need something from women/people, its more than likely that you will want to stop wanting TO GET success with women, which, is paradox and doesn't work.

Once more, awareness is the first step to take.

You know what, I think that confusion as far as if a woman approached or not is due to what we think about what her advances meant. We try to decipher. Let me ask, if you knew for a fact that her advances were not in the hopes of getting sex from you, would you still be confused about her advances or if her behavior was an advance at all? The funny thing is that I hardly ever put that pressure on myself anymore. I know what it feels to have that and it sux, but I know now that hey i'm just having fun regardless!! There was this girl at work that noticed I cut my hair, and she said from several feet away from me that "hey I noticed you cut your hair." And i'm thinking "I never talk to you so why do you even mention this to me?" Hahaha, but it was the truth. So I took that as a small advancement because there is nothing that a woman has to do to put herself out there unless she absolutely wants to. Now I had a feeling that she was attracted to me because she kept going about how she loves my hair yada yada yada, but at the end of the day I look nothing into it because if she didn't even advance toward me would I even have a reason to look into her behavior? Nah, so regardless of her behavior I still behave the same way no matter how big or small the interest.

The journey to indifference is one of absolute power. Good job Vegano. I'm glad you enjoy what Jake has to offer. He has some absolutely fantastic insights. It all boils down to reaching the level where you base your self worth on absolutely nothing. When you absolutely love and approve of yourself for no reason, people will want to be around you. Everyone will want to be around you because everyone wants to have that. No exceptions.

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Thanks for all the responses.

I just wanted to say that I had my second phone coaching with Jake yesterday. It was very insightful, not as groundbreaking as the first one but still very great.

What else to say? Jake approved my opinion that the most important thing one should do is practicing basing his self worth on absolutely nothing, as Libertine said it in the last post. This means praising yourself as much as possible. This is the most important thing to do and the other things the gives are only tools to adress certain attachements which would go away by themselves when you keep praising yourself and accept you completely for no reason. But with the tools you can make it faster. Jake also told me that the first time he got to the point of indifference (then he had a relationship and had to start from zero after it), he did quite nothing else than just praising himself.

The reactions from women are getting more. Like in class I was talking today with some friends about muffins and brownies and a woman in the row before me just turned around and entered the talk, just looking at me. In the past I tried to talk about things that other people around would enter the conversation but that didn't happen then...
Women are looking at me more than usual. Where I had 0-1 (or a few) eye contacts in most of my NG time during a day (there were exceptional days), I have a lot today, I don't count. A woman from a class I'm in that I've never talked to so far, drove by with her bycicle, smiled at me and wished me a good lunch. And she's not the type who does that.

Jake told me that from now such things are happening and will get bigger. The crucial point is that I should always reach for freedom and not let myself caught in that approval I'm now getting. Like making women again the sourse for my approval which can happen easily if you don't have your eye on freedom (indifference, happiness). He speaks from experience

ModernLibertine and Vegano,

what do you mean: 'praising yourself'?
what exacly do you say to yourself?

Do you do the affirmations Corry Sky suggested, like: 'I'm a sexy M.F'?

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

SHE IS!

She is the type to do that, as she did it, to you.

Possibly you were not showing yourself as the type of person who she does it to before? and you are now?

Something to ponder on

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

@ Peregrinus: I love your inputs You're right, she does that, this is my reality where she and the other women do that.

@ Shay: Jake mentioned it also in one of his blogposts: http://stopgivingafuck.com/blog/index.p ... /#more-240

Praise yourself like: Hey X (you), you're so great and everything is great about you. Why? No reason, you just are. You're just so awesome and I love you, I'll always will love you. Your such a wonderful person. etc. etc.

The clue about this is that you start to build your selfworth on absolutely nothing. You are a great guy and you love yourself, for no reason, regardless of what happens. It basically and eventually leads to the point of indifference. You get all the approval from yourself, there's nothing that could happen which could make you not loving yourself anymore because your love for yourself, your selfworth is built on nothing, not attached on anything.

Like I said, this is what Jake did before he reached indifference the first time. After the "fall" in his relationship where he stopped loving himself and based his selfworth on the approval of his girlfriend, he also included letting go techniques, addiotionally to praising himself.

Thanks Veg

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Guys gave me shit in Zan's because I was always saying how I awesome I think am. They just didn't get it.

You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Being comfortable in your own skin and becoming your own best friend are key traits to becoming successful with women in ANY capacity...life in general too as far as that goes.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

yea, some guys on Zan's forum don't love themselves and they think that if they worship the ground that women are walking on- that will fix everything.....

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

I dont think alot of those dudes on Zan's forum get it at all. Zan sure as hell does. I can tell that by listening to him, but those guys take themselves way too seriously.

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