Hey guys, I start here a new "diary" where I'd like to post some of my experiences and thoughts about my journey to indifference which I've gone since three weeks conciously.
Before that, I did Natural Grounding for 9 months and I think it was great. It has helped me a lot in different areas of my life and I had great pleasure doing Natural Grounding. Altough, as Djl mentioned somewhere, it didn't make me letting go of attachements and limiting beliefs/blockages. And after all, I did it to get women which aim isn't good for true development but unavoidable to certain degree IF you don't start to let go of your attachments, your want for approval.
Three weeks ago I had a long phone coaching with Jake from Stopgivingafuck.com and it seems as a second one follows in the next days. That coaching blew me away as Jake guided me to the awareness that I want women because I want their approval, the approval from my friends when I have women and from other people. This awareness is very important and only then I think, one can really development and let go of all things that limit him
So I've done stuff from Jake since then, most of the time I do praise myself. And it starts to make a difference. I've also done visualisations and letting go of my want for approval but I would like to do that more to make it easier. And it gets easier and more effective, the more you do it.
Yesterday I had a cool evening. It was an university party where we were on a ship on a lake the first few hours and then in a club. On the boat I had a great time with my friends from university which are mostly women. I really was relaxed and I also did praise myself in the silent moments. I felt good, more calm than usual, less looking for women looking at me. I had more eye contacts than usual and especially longer ones.
Then we went to the club, some more friends arrived and we had great party. And here I also felt cool, felt comfortable in the club. I still did check the women less than usual. I kept praising myself in the right moments which really feels good. Thats true approval, approval from myself, based on nothing. I'm a great guy, why?, no reason, I just am
I had some more eye contacts especially when I checked the room.
Then I got "approached". I don't know if it really was an approach. I danced somewhere and then some one gently pinched my upper arm, I turn around and there was a beautiful Indian woman standing with that sweet Nicole Theriault like smile in her face and a body language like Palmy. And a friend of her. Both standing there and looking at me. I kind of didn't know whats going on, haha. They stood there for two seconds or so and then I turned beside so that they could pass. The reasons why I can't say if it was an approach or just a gesture asking me to free the way? Normally if someone wants to pass by, he just touches your shoulder and then walks by, and doesn't look in your eyes. Here she just stood there, waiting for me to turn around to her and then deeply smiling at me. It was like someobody you know, comes from behind, touches you and you turn around and "hey....". Lovely.
I noticed that eye contacts or that experience didn't make me as excited as in the past.
I keep you updated guys
