Natural Freedom

After going on a trip with some friends, I've analyzed my behavior over there and I've begun to see patterns in my behavior that I truly don't like. And what it comes down to is the fact that I've been living my life for other people, and not for me. I see where I picked up that pattern of thinking, which is completely different than what I'd like it to be, and I now see it's bullshit. Always wasting my time considering how I can get other people to like me, how I can appeal to them and what I can do to make myself popular. It's much, much less frequent when I first came here, but I still want to improve upon that and have a similar way of thinking that you guys on here do. I guess it's still rooted in me, and I'm slowly extracting the venom of the Matrix out.


I also now see what peregrinus meant with giving and taking space. Truly eye-opening. It's not about avoiding people or ignoring them, because sooner or later a person's inner intentions will be manifested into the outside world. So if I like a girl and want to show her how cool I am or whatever, it'll always come for a place of needyness, where I'll be the one trying to get in her space. All the takeaways and on-purpose subtle ignoring won't change that, because I can't really control my thinking patterns 100% of the time. So it's about being comfortable with...well, with myself.

Deep down, I saw what you guys were typing as a tactic to get people to like me. I see that now. The biggest question that needed answering, then, was "What if I'm all alone because I'm living life for me? What I'm simply thrust in a situation where my way of thinking isn't accepted by the people around me". I'd never answer it, just shun it aside and say that'll never happen. But now I know I feared that scenario, and I've answered my question. If it happens, it'll happen. But my main standard, for me, is living life on my own terms. Judging a situation based on my judgement, not how it could affect other people's thinking of me. So that, to me, is more valuable than being comfortable and feeling safe in the fact that a person laughed at my joke or whatever nonsense I lived for before. Living life for me and holding myself accountable for everything I do will take precedence over that.

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Take it easy, man. But take it.

very good, if you read the value theory and remember that people don't love\like you for you - but just for the value you offer- then you shouldn't give a fuck trying to please them. There is no point....

this thread we talked about people (not just women) and the value theory:

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=710

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Bravo moose35

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Some important admissions to yourself, some enlightening realisations and some real honesty with yourself Indeed Far far from it, as you more than likely see now.

This can be explained by the difference in trying to explain something to someone who has not had the realisation yet, to someone who has. Their frame of reference is so different that it is seen from a different view, no matter how you attempt to explain it. It is not an answer most people seek, it is the question.
Once they know the question, they know the answer.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Thanks for the replies guys,

I only read through that value theory in full just now. Kind of depressing if you think about it. Maybe it's because I see value as superficial and still have illusions about "authentic" interaction, but damn. That'd make everything superficial and fake. Does that always dwell on your guys' minds, now that you've been out of the Matrix for a while, how everything is fake and un-genuine?

Now I just don't know how to move forward. I know I've made progress, but I don't think I've made enough and want to keep pushing.

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Take it easy, man. But take it.

when I first figured out the value theory it was depressing but after I accepted it, it became liberating. Since people don't really love\like you for you - you just live your life the way You want
and you don't care what people think about you (to a point...).

I also screen out the people who don't give me any value because I know they would do the same to me- so I don't feel guilty about it.

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"