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 Post subject: Indifferent too much ?
PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:35 am 
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So if you guys remember this girl I've been with these days - We had a "breakup" today. Let's be friends basically (I told her I will go out with her only if I had time, and I won't have time)
Thing is she told me she hates how I'm all the time telling her to leave if she wants, how I don't care, how she wants me to tell her how I love her, to support her..

I mean wtf. So am I idiot, does this shit work only on some girls or what ?


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:11 am 
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I suspect it is an implementation issue.

Do you verbalise it a lot? if so, why?

She is also testing you, your motives and frame.

My gut is telling me you may have overdone it or made it TOO overt.

Also can you confirm who initiated the 'breakup'?

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:19 am 
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peregrinus wrote:
I suspect it is an implementation issue.

Do you verbalise it a lot? if so, why?

She is also testing you, your motives and frame.

My gut is telling me you may have overdone it or made it TOO overt.

Also can you confirm who initiated the 'breakup'?
Verbalise what ?

She initiated it.

Well I quess I overdid it.. But I didn't think It can be done.. I don't want to say it's Kidd fault because it basically isn't, but he made me think I can't overdid it.. And I don't feel like I overdid it either


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 12:04 pm 
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fufe wrote:
So if you guys remember this girl I've been with these days - We had a "breakup" today. Let's be friends basically (I told her I will go out with her only if I had time, and I won't have time)
Thing is she told me she hates how I'm all the time telling her to leave if she wants, how I don't care, how she wants me to tell her how I love her, to support her..

I mean wtf. So am I idiot, does this shit work only on some girls or what ?

if you constantly told her this, you have planted the seed in her head, so in turn starts to think it is something that you want (even if you didn't) as that other guy would say, " I think you are coming from a "good" place, it was just overdone.

being indifferent, doesn't work by you just saying it. your body has to say it also. make your body say it the most.

would you want to be with a woman who is constantly telling you she don't care if you stay or go?
kinda carries an insignificant feeling doesn't it?

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 12:08 pm 
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Fuck. You're right, I get it.. Thing is I can't see the point where it is too much. And I'm getting tired - I've talked about this emptiness I feel with another girl I break up, you guys told me that I expect something from them.. I've thought about this but I didn't come to anything really.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:09 pm 
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If you're telling her all the time, that's not indifference...that's just annoying. If you were truly indifferent, you would only say something when you NEEDED to. Sounds to me that by you telling her something all the time, you are actually trying to convince YOURSELF of something or other.

For the record, if you are doing it right, you CAN'T over do it, because there is nothing to over do. It just is.

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. :|

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:36 pm 
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Well I don't know what to do know. How should I act when she tells me she needs to hear that I love her, really ?


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:55 pm 
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it does sound as if you are trying to "affirm" indifference.
if you really don't feel anything for her, you aren't at the place to con/trick her that you do.
since she initiated the break up ( blatant test) do what you need to do. if you are sure that you don't care if she stays or goes, you don't have to be rude, but let her know that her walking papers have been signed.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:56 pm 
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Stop acting. :|

Trust your gut! :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 3:50 pm 
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i knew this wil gonna happen from your previous post about that girl, she inflated your ego then when she tested you, you got lost


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:04 pm 
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rant wrote:
i knew this wil gonna happen from your previous post about that girl, she inflated your ego then when she tested you, you got lost
:ugeek:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:09 pm 
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And you guys kept your mouths shut for me to fall on my face and see it myself by making the mistake :!: :lol:

She texted me that she's sorry and she actually regrets the breakup. I didn't know what to say, so I said just "Ok."

Change is happenning, Thanks to her and you


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:32 pm 
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Just ignore her from here on out. Never initiate contact...respond to her when YOU want to but keep it short and sweet. She's gonna want you back...when she finally comes out with it, then do whatever you wish.

Indifference isn't going out of your way to tell her over and over what the terms are...she broke up with you, meaning you aren't in a position to be making terms in the first place. You just shoulda shrugged and been like 'whatever'...because if you were TRULY indifferent instead of TRYING TO BE indifferent, you just wouldnt have given a fuck.

Point. End. "." :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:46 pm 
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Indifference is an adjective, not a trait.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:57 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
Just ignore her from here on out. Never initiate contact...respond to her when YOU want to but keep it short and sweet. She's gonna want you back...when she finally comes out with it, then do whatever you wish.

Indifference isn't going out of your way to tell her over and over what the terms are...she broke up with you, meaning you aren't in a position to be making terms in the first place. You just shoulda shrugged and been like 'whatever'...because if you were TRULY indifferent instead of TRYING TO BE indifferent, you just wouldnt have given a fuck.

Point. End. "." :ugeek:
Ok. Thank you


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:10 pm 
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No prob...with this chick, you are not indifferent...you are INVESTED. Cool down, introspect, and deal with it. Most of all, learn from this, as experience is ALWAYS the best teacher. 8-)

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:14 pm 
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This is great, I was actually on the verge of making the same mistake myself.....

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:20 pm 
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Alchemist wrote:
This is great, I was actually on the verge of making the same mistake myself.....
You're kidding. :|

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:31 pm 
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fufe wrote:
And you guys kept your mouths shut for me to fall on my face and see it myself by making the mistake :!:
How else were you going to learn.

We have tried telling people before - do they listen?
NO

They have to bloody their nose before they stop and think about it, realise they fucked up and see that what they thought they heard was not what we actually said.

You do not act a certain way to be indifferent.
When you are indifferent your actions and words will be different BECAUSE you are indifferent.

They will be honest and congruent because they are REAL!

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:36 pm 
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And for the record, fufe...if the woman initiates the end of a relationship, it is not called a 'breakup'...it's called 'you got fucking DUMPED'. Know the difference. ;)

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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