It goes away with time, you'll grow past it. The only thing is that pick up type stuff will prolong it's demise
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| Facing the fear of looking bad http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1209 |
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| Author: | Dr. Awesome [ Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Facing the fear of looking bad |
I think many of you guys know this situation (or knew it). You're perfectly comfortable at home but then as soon as you intend to leave the house (going shopping in the city or something like that) you think you have to wear better clothes and style your hair, put on contact lenses instead of the glasses and so on. It seems (at least for me) that you have to look a certain way if you go under other people (especially women). I know that this is ALL about approval seeking because I haven't done it for myself but for the women. Or I lied to me that I did it for myself in a way of "If you don't have a good style in public you will feel uncomfortable and therefore you style up for yourself, to feel more comfortable". It might seem not big at all but this bothered me for the last year (prior I was unaware about it). And yesterday was the first time I faced that limiting behaviour so I did go to the next city without styling my hair, without contact lenses. I mean this path is about being care-free and its my aim to feel comfortable in my skin no matter what / how I look. The experience wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Just accepting/obersving myself in that situation helped a lot. Yay, thats it for now. Might seem not to be a big deal but for me it kinda was/is. And I think its the little things/changes that make the biggest difference in the end. |
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| Author: | Altair [ Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Facing the fear of looking bad |
It goes away with time, you'll grow past it. The only thing is that pick up type stuff will prolong it's demise
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| Author: | Dr. Awesome [ Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Facing the fear of looking bad |
Yeah, altough my PU time ended 2 years ago and I don't think about it anymore there are still some consequences from it like that dose of "requiered" "outer-game". But key is like always: Get aware of it, accept it and face it 
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Thu Jun 23, 2011 1:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Facing the fear of looking bad |
Always take pride in your appearance...it is part of your front. 
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| Author: | Dr. Awesome [ Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:12 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Facing the fear of looking bad | |
Always take pride in your appearance...it is part of your front.
I guess "pride" is the keyword here. From your words I conclude that there's a huge difference betwenn trying to look good because of approval seeking/feeling uncomfortable in my skin "unstyled" and looking good because I'm proud about my appearance. Only the second scenario comes from a place of being oneselfs best friend, right? |
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| Author: | Altair [ Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Facing the fear of looking bad |
My pua days ended a while ago, it just got to the point last week where I can approach with little to no fear of the consequences. Nothing bad ever happens and if it does it's no reflection of me. One of my best friends once told me "what stops you is your fear of rejection, what stops me is there is nothing to gain" |
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:31 pm ] | |
| Post subject: | Re: Facing the fear of looking bad | |
One of my best friends once told me "what stops you is your fear of rejection, what stops me is there is nothing to gain"
That is beautiful... 
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| Author: | The Kidd!! [ Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:32 pm ] | ||
| Post subject: | Re: Facing the fear of looking bad | ||
Always take pride in your appearance...it is part of your front.
I guess "pride" is the keyword here. From your words I conclude that there's a huge difference betwenn trying to look good because of approval seeking/feeling uncomfortable in my skin "unstyled" and looking good because I'm proud about my appearance. Only the second scenario comes from a place of being oneselfs best friend, right? 
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| Author: | scarface [ Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:08 am ] | ||
| Post subject: | Re: Facing the fear of looking bad | ||
I lied to me that I did it for myself
you'll be doing it because you enjoy looking good for YOURSELF.
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