"Fuck that! I hate, like in love shit! 'Love' ruins everything. Fuck it, seriously fuck it.
I have known this for a while. Women love to be treated like trash. Really pay attention, look around you. Look at people in relationships. Women like men who treat them like shit. It's a fact, and that's how I have been with every other girl and they love me. It's true man, it's so true. They want men to hint sometimes that hey I kind of like you and I will be nice, so they are always longing for the time that I treat them nicely. That is what I do with any other girl, and they adore me."
Come again? He definitely ain't the most articulate person. He's Greek so that explains it.
This is an actual conversation I had with my best friend from college not too long ago. He is the best I have seen with women. Gorgeous women chase him like no other. He goes out, he gets laid or at the very least, makes out with a gorgeous woman. This is not an exaggeration. Women pursue this dude non-stop.
I remember in college, I had a hot stripper looking neighbor who was a stone cold bitch towards me. I would say hi and she wouldn't even flinch, just kept on walking. She was my neighbor for a year and in all that time, no reaction whatsoever. My Greek friend comes over to stay for the summer and all of a sudden, this girl starts writing notes on my door saying she wants to meet up and we should hang out, obviously directed at my Greek buddy.
Going out with him was fun but at the same time I remember I would be very jealous around him. He made it seem so damn easy. At the time I attributed most of his success to his looks, which are slightly above average, but I knew there was something else. We would go to clubs and sometimes he would just stand taking his drink in the middle of the dance floor and women would approach him.
I remember this one time, this girl I made out with and wanted to fuck, rejected me right when we got to her house. I realized later that night that she had texted my buddy to see if HE wanted to walk her home, because she felt alone. Zing! I felt that burn, but my buddy didn't seem to care about the situation and the girl.
Anyway, I was definitely curious to delve deeper about what he meant in this conversation. We had never really talked about his philosophy or mentality so this was fun. At face value he comes across as way too misogynistic and unconventional but it was clear to me that he truly wasn't expressing himself adequately, so I kept asking for clarification.
"I am not going to get married. If I get married, then I would get married to a girl I really like and then I won't be able to treat her like trash. If I don't treat her like trash then she's not going to like me back as much as I like her. So you see how it works. This is very well thought out and it's true, it's so true.".
Now he threw my head for a spin, but it felt true in my gut. I just wanted to know if he literally meant treating women like shit, so I asked.
"No, not really treating them like shit. I just don't give a fuck, that's all.".
I have shared this story because basically Kidd you are saying exactly the same stuff my friend told me. When I read this post it just clicked and made complete sense. I totally understand now what my friend was trying to tell me.
At face value it is hard to face the truth and have our bubbles popped. Basically, I was brought up to believe and look up to relationships to feel all warm and cuddly. I believed relationships were the perfect ground to pour my lovey-doveyness. Looking back at my life it is obvious. It hasn't really played out for me that well.
Sniper's point about expressing emotions is very interesting. See, my Greek buddy is one of the most assertive and open-minded people I know when it comes to expressing how he feels. He was incredibly vulnerable and honest with me when sharing what was going on for him moment by moment, which is why I truly feel connected to the guy. So what he told me about not giving a fuck and being nice to get something from women, is really all it boils down to.
Being around the guy I know he expresses what he feels, and recently he had fallen in love with a Colombia girl, they had started fooling around. However, when he became more invested and completely in love, is when she called it quits. That is why he was telling me that being in love messes it up for him.
As I see it, it's about being honest but not expecting mushy feelings back. When being all lovey-dovey and mushy, feeling needy for some kind of loving, maybe it's because your needs haven't been met and you are truly the only person to take care of that. I don't see a problem in expressing such feelings coming from a place where you are already content, as they wouldn't have that clingy feel to them.
I do see a problem in trying to express your feelings in order to be nurtured by another person.
I see open expression as appreciation free of attachment instead of appreciation full of longing.
The whole fallacy of falling in love and pouring your guts and heart out just doesn't play out, when you are reaching out for someone else to complete you. I learned that the hard way, and just recently observed my brother being dealt a hard slapping the same way.
I don't see what Kidd wrote as a game or technique to be used to get more women. Rather as a realization or observation, to check up on the true intention or motivation to belt out whatever you feel. I am all about being authentic, so I do see that I can recognize such emotions yet choose not to act upon them. That is what I understand by what Kidd says in being logical.
Would love to hear your thoughts.