OK, Firstly some cherry picked quotes, comments added for others not necessarily Kidd:
(NOTE: only after writing this did I realise how long it took)
I realized how tense she seemed...almost like she was under a lot of pressure.
She was. She had the weight of all your expectation on her. You also were not giving her space, you were asking her to give you space to express yourself.
I swear her pussy seemed EXTRA good this time around...I didn't last very long at all.
Your emotions were in control, in a heightened state, which made you much more susceptible to them and their effects, including the emotions connected with touch and stimulation, together with your mind and pleasure.
she seemed to be giving canned answers and just trying to get the conversation over with.
She was, she was uncomfortable, not able to express herself and not sure how to handle what was coming from you. The canned answers was because she was not being herself, she was on the defensive and pulling back somewhat, trying to create some space for herself. Which you were not allowing her, seeing as you did not, she felt she had to for herself (unconsciously)
When she left, I almost felt like I needed to talk to her some more because I felt like our connection was getting lost.
You did. It was.
You were more invested than she was, hence you felt the connection was being lost as she was withdrawing from you, because she could not handle the pressure and desired some space, this caused you to feel that the distance was increasing = connection being lost.
She is at my house in literally about 7 minutes...she had been hanging out at a drug store around the corner of my house.
She had had some space, had regrouped and was eager to see if your behaviour the other night was a 'glitch' - what she had seen in between sent her the message that it was. She was so eager to find out that she was keeping herself in a location really close so that she could find out as soon as possible when she got the message from you.
Then when you were out, her actions were because yours were confirming to her that you were who she thought you were, you were back to that person - the one she desires. She at this point would have written off the other night as a 'glitch' in you. It would also turn her on like crazy because she has been missing the drug that is you, since she went away and she is getting her first 'fix' of it in weeks.
Long story short, we get back to the house and she basically seduces me. We end up making love again,
You created the space for her, she took advantage of it and her heightened state and filled that space. Just how it should be.
except THIS time I'm knocking it out of the park! I actually had to concentrate to climax! Same girl, same plumbing...and yet what had me running away last week could barely take the meat this week! She leaves and makes sure she already has plans to see me tomorrow.
You were detached.
Pure and simple.
Your emotions and feelings were under control and contained.
Therefore you were under control, climatically.
Ever notice how you have to get emotional in some way to come? You have to let go to a degree to let it happen, rather than utterly forcing it out.
Hence you had to do this to come, to concentrate on those feelings enough to come, to let it happen rather than keeping those feelings and emotions in the box they were in.
HAVING THE WRONG MINDSET AFFECTS YOUR SEXUAL PERFORMANCE. No, really!
See, when I let myself be all sappy, I came faster than minute rice (well, a little longer than that, but nowhere near normal). I enjoyed it ALOT! Yet, when I went back to logical 'ol me, I almost COULDN'T cum...same girl, same plumbing. It was a CHORE to cum. So check THIS out, right?...
It could then be postulated that...if you are climaxing too easily with a woman, YOU ARE IN THE WRONG MINDSTATE...and vice versa!
See above comment.
Totally and utterly agree with the above.
It is all in the mind, your mind.
Therefore!...the stronger your position in the relationship, the harder it is for you to climax! This is potentially HUGE! This means that men don't need cockrings and the like to combat premature ejaculation...they just have to man up to make the woman desire them more than they desire the woman!
The person with the most investment has the weaker position.
The person with the least investment has the stronger position.
(said this before on here)
SO, YOU AS A MAN BEING OVERLY INVESTED MESSES IT ALL UP.
more investment = weaker position = more emotional = quicker come
This also means:
less investment = stronger position = less emotional = longer/harder to come
Now a sidenote here:
if the woman is in a stronger position, do you think it would be easier or harder for her to come?
if the woman is in a weaker position, do you think it would be easier or harder for her to come?
Think about this whole equation both ways around, as it applies to them as well as you.
HOWEVER!!...it is something that men SHOULDN'T DO and women need to LEARN HOW TO DO. Allow me to attempt to explain...
Usually when a man climaxes, he is done for awhile, depending on his refractory period. A woman can have multiples without skipping a beat. THEREFORE...if your woman submits to you and you do not submit to her...she ends up having the best sex OF HER LIFE because her submission = multiple orgasms + your non-submission = the ability to grant her those multiple orgasms...SEE?
You do not even need to 'fuck her well' in the sense you have been taught.
Merely by maintaining control, you give her the space and time to do it to HERSELF!
The mind is the biggest female sex organ, it needs time and space to warm up, then it becomes a firecracker if fed with the right ingredients.
You not submitting means you are in the right mental/emotional/feeling state to give her what she needs.
You can lay there and do nothing in this state and she will fuck her brains out on you and still call it 'the best sex she ever had'. Purely because you have given her what she really needs.
NOTE: IF ASK HER, SHE WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU WERE IN CONTROL, EVEN THOUGH TO YOU YOU JUST LAY THERE (seemingly). It really all is in the mind (repeat at least 5 times).
A woman NEEDS to be fucked PROPERLY...most women think they know what great sex is but really have no idea because the way our society has them programmed, THEY HAVE NEVER SUBMITTED TO MAN TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY MISSING!
AGREED! TOTALLY AND UTTERLY!!!!!!!!!
I have been telling friends of mine this for years and they have real issues with it, so much I have stopped telling them. I also tell women this and some give me real shit about it, some ponder it, some agree with it (they have tasted it).
They all end up intrigued by it though and come back with more questions.
Nice post Kidd.