Natural Freedom

This:
This:
This:
and This:


in that order.

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Sparkling All Over

BIRDS & TREES: (http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... ree#p30434) This is the main thing I wanted to expand on, as it was more relevant to the topic, but something told me to hold up. Now I know why. There was a nuance I didn't entirely get & last night clarified things for me. See the title of this post...

Was at the movies (by myself). Ordered my popcorn etc., but there were shitloads of people waiting for their orders, so I wandered around a bit, looking at posters of upcoming movies, the overall decor, etc, as opposed to gawking at all the fine young things there. (SIDE NOTE: There is ALWAYS something interesting to look at in the environment, you just have to be INTERESTED).

Ended up wandering far away into a section that was deserted, where a few discarded things had been left, etc. Was enjoying looking around this area when a chick came up to me, asking me which of the cinemas her movie was playing in.

In the past, my reaction would probably have been to a) internally facepalm at how clueless she was, and b) show her how to work out FOR HERSELF where she had to go by looking at her fucking ticket, so that she wouldn't be so hopeless in the future. But something's different now. Whatever experience she wanted to have, whatever she wanted to soak in, was fine by me, and I would not interfere. I asked her for her ticket, looked at it, and told her to come with me. We walked, casually, to where her show was playing without saying a word (mainly b/c she couldn't), and I gave her back her ticket, telling her this is where her flick is. She seemed totally lost throughout this entire brief episode. Her friends came up and dragged her in, but that didn't bother me in the least. All I wanted was for her to experience whatever she was feeling.

When I got back to the counter to pick up my 'corn & other shit, there was a chick next to me with her boyfriend (seemed sympish, but that's just an observation these days, not a concern). On approaching the counter I noticed her whip her head around in my direction briefly, then she leaned over slightly on the counter (shortest skirt i've seen in a while ). No prob. While taking my stuff away, I noticed out the corner of my eye that her left leg was grooving, but waaay faster than the music that was playing. No prob either. She too can feel whatever she's feeling.....

On the way to the cinema I had time to kill, so I stopped in at a place I normally chill out in. One waitress in particular there is very into me, but although she has a sweet front & vibe, I also pick up a very bitter component in her vibe too. (Wonder how much of that is mirror? - no sense being paranoid though.) While reading/observing, I registered that she was catching A LOT OF brief glances at me every time she passed my table or was even just in my vicinity (WAY more often than she used to, which was a fair amount in the first place.) Her checking me out used to be a slight distraction and cause my rate of reading to slow down before, but not this time (well, maybe once or twice). Once again, she can just soak in what she's soaking in. She usually asks me if I need anything (it's her job ferChristsakes), but tonight when she asked "Everything good?", this truly didn't feel like it was about a refill. I heard those words in my fucking stomach . When I calmly said "Wonderful. But what about you?" she didn't reply. She brightened up, smiled/blushed, and floated away like she was on Cloud 9. Little girl. Enjoy as much as you want - I won't run out of it or anything. I then went back to my book.

I had posted a while back about how 'Gut Beats Women's Mean Poker Faces', and it was fun for a while to look over at them from whatever I was doing and catch them red-handed. It looks like that was just a phase (although I see myself doing it occasionally for kicks ) If they want to soak up my presence, LET THEM. I'm now happy to just continue doing what i'm doing.

Interesting side note: This has made me think of a chick I was dealing with a little while back, who was watching me do something i'm extremely talented in. When it reached a point where it wasn't crucial that I continue, I said "OK I can finish this up another time. We planned to go out, so let's go." She was pleased with this, but before the pleasure showed up on her face, I registered a brief flash (probably milliseconds or less!) of something else. I think it was CONTEMPT. Not beating myself up over it, just throwing it out there.

I know the above is not actually one of the experiences I posted about before, but I think those were all 'birds & trees' too, and what happened to me in the examples above really brought that home. Feel free to let me know if I have missed an important point, though.

When I first read what you said about birds & trees, a) I only saw it in the context of relationships, but I see now that it applies to ME (and how I relate to the world around me), and b) I thought it was a damn good way of looking at things, but figured it would be hella difficult to get to that way of thinking - but it happens naturally, doesn't it?

'Grinus: so many things you say in your posts have become apparent: hovering in an ever-narrowing radius, birds & trees, and I have been seeing A LOT OF the little girl inside the woman, but it's not just fascinating or a curiosity. It seems to be a part of the beauty of life, that's all. God knows how much more there is, but i'm not even in a hurry. There is SO MUCH MORE I am itching to write about little girls, 8-10 year olds, and how this is now shining through in adults, and the people gravitating to my solitude at parties that I mentioned in the first place, and if you want me to i'll elaborate on anything you specify, but i'm gonna stop here. Thanks again.

By the way, anyone who is still in red-pill bitterness (eg moose and rekeiter), hang in there. I have previously posted showing my own bitterness, and did not even GET CLOSE to mentioning the worst parts. But it does wear off. To be honest, I still get echoes of the 'spikes' in anger I used to get, but they're getting duller and less frequent. Again, hang in there.

Also, totally off-topic (or maybe not): women have some reaaal sneaky ways to catch a glimpse of you (eg turning around and sweeping their head as if they're taking in a wide angle of the room; it just so happens that you're in the middle of that sweep ). Tables can be turned, though. One chick I felt may have been checking me out had the meanest poker face I ever saw. I COULD NOT pin down if she was checking me for sure - until something happened outside the window behind her, and at a level above her head. When that caught my attention, you shoulda seen how fast she whipped around to see what I was looking at . Sneak.)

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"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Roark, the first incident you describe at the movies sounds off to me.

First is that the girl didn't seem shy/introverted because she initiated, then when you gave her space, her suddenly becoming incapable of speech seems unlikely. I've not known a girl who wouldn't talk her head off if interested and given the chance. To me, it's more likely she mistook you for an attendant and was later lost in her own thoughts. This happens to me often enough that I'm not surprised by it.

Second is, you say you were doing something you were interested in when the girl interrupted you. To then completely abandon what you were doing, going above and beyond what the girl requested, seems odd. You mention another instance where you did the same (drop what you were doing to attend to a girl) and you felt she was contemptful then.

I have a strong reaction to doing anything for a girl (or guy for that matter) that she can do for herself. I don't think this is a bad thing. This has aided me in preventing girls from tooling me.

My other comment is that, personally I find people much more interesting than the environment. I wouldn't go to a public place and ignore the people there. I can ignore them much better at home. This is a change from my youth when people wouldnt interest me and it was all about the sights. I dont think I'm going to switch again anytime soon.
Also, one of the perks of being a man is that I can look at what I want. I use that fully, no deception needed.

I used to think so too. Then I experienced the phenomenon of a grown, confident (and downright ballbusting) young woman muttering incoherently and then lowering her head and clamming up after I asked a simple question. Have seen this since a few more times, with many permutations. At first I thought it was rudeness or indifference towards me, but a couple of them proved subsequently that the opposite was the case. I won't try to convince you though; this is something you'd have to see for yourself. I'm not entirely sure i've gotten used to seeing it myself. I am so familiar with this it's beyond funny. In other previous posts I indicated my disdain for even the tiniest manipulations on their part. Not only would I feel the need to protect myself from their machinations, but would be sorely tempted to do something to make sure the fuckers wouldn't try this with anyone else ever again. Now something has loosened up in me, and I realise this shit is no big deal. They can't tool me. Every time it seems they did, what was really happening was I was 'tooling' myself. There truly is no spoon. Duly noted. My interest in my environment, in addition to evolving from my Kidd!!-inspired habit of just chilling out and observing around me, is a by-product of some spiritual practices I have been doing on and off for some months now: meditation and yogic breathing (pranayam). Colours are FAR more vibrant, everything seems more 'alive'. I thought these effects reported by others in the 'spritual scene' were bullshit, but it's far from. When it first started happening I figured the experience would wear off the same way new experiences lose their 'sheen' when they become commonplace. But no - instead, it seems i'm given a new pair of eyeballs every day . Similar things have been happening with my other senses too.

I'm not deliberately ignoring people - I look at what catches my attention most in the moment, which brings me to: Nice. It's interesting how when I first joined this site and became aware of the depths and prevalence of female manipulations, I would go out of my way to not even notice a chick - I WOULD NOT give them the fucking satisfaction. Now that i'm loosening up, I too look at what I want. And the female ass is as wonderful to behold as it was when I stopped looking at 'em out of anger . And the deliberate 'tick-tock' that they force these asses to make while they walk, in order to make us drool, have many permutations too; subtle ones, obvious ones, some so forced that they become caricatures, and lo and behold, some young women don't do it at all! But alas I digress......

Another interesting thing is that I woulda thought that a 'new vision' like this would've turned me into a drooling new-age hippie ("wow, look at the lights, man" - anyone remember Tommy Chong? ), but quite the opposite. It brings a new relaxed alertness. There are people who like to playfully sneak up on me, and they've been complaining that they can't do it anymore (and some have been redoubling their efforts). Many other nice side effects, but i'll stop boring your ass now .

No fucking spoon......

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"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"

If the girl does not initiate contact and clams up when you do, that makes sense, her actions are congruent. It does not seem congruent to initiate and then clam up.

It would be congruent if the point of initiating wasn't to converse.

Fair point nonetheless. With some effort, she could've spoken or even made conversation if I made it necessary. But I didn't.

This may not be the best analogy, but it's like going over to someone's house, and their dog comes over to sniff you out. Yeah you can pet them & make friends with them and all that nice stuff, but some dogs, all they want to do is sniff and then go back to what they were doing. That's fine - their sniffing you is an experience in itself, if you're present to it. Nothing more is necessary.

The woman in question probably had no intention of pursuing either a relationship or a fling with me - 'jocking' is not the same as 'choosing' - but that's fine. That's why I said Having said that, this still may not make any sense or seem to have any rational purpose to you, but that's ok as well.

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"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"

Oh man that's B-E-A-U- TIFUL!

:_D

I've seen this shit. And it's pleasing as fuck.
Glad you dropped the "mad man hat" (because it's simple as that), and started to just enjoy the beauty of it. (With the big guns in yo' pocket, ready to match)

The real deal start when you get choosed and there becomes a frenzy for her!

I cannot get past that point I guess I'm stuck in the 3rd world of SMB3, but pleased with the roundabout so far!

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GMST

@roark, the dog analogy seems a bit of a reach. The tree analogy, seems to me that in your story, the tree subsequently flew with the bird, going where the bird was going, in the name of giving space.

I have absolutely nothing to add here. Roark, you may be surprised to find how much we are alike in our thinking when it comes to interacting with women in environments where there is no sexual context.

Damn, I'm glad someone else finally put to words what I haven't been able to put to words correctly. Jocking is not the same as choosing. The dog analogy is amazing.

I see you're finally running up the avenues as I said in another post.

Short expansion: running up the alley or avenue does not imply that it is in a sexual context. In fact, most of the time you are just following the evidence and digesting the evidence in the present moment as you should be. This is crucial. You can't find the right direction to go in alley if you think you already know where it is headed. However, that shouldn't prevent you from running up the alley because you may discover something that you never knew about before. Having no motivations or intentions allows you to see more clearly. If having inner sight is important to you then running up the alley is crucial.

Again...Damn....you're definitely on the right path. I think someone should do a gems and precious threads section for you because you can't stop mining these diamonds in the rough.
Contradiction. You are projecting.

Side Note:

@ Roark:

I had an interesting experience today as I was reading this thread. I'm sitting at a computer station working on a project and viewing this site. One of my friends comes up. It was so funny. He gets really close to my face, and I back up really fast. I felt so surprised. I saw him come around the corner, but I wasn't sure if he was going to speak to me. Of course, I'm enjoying my solitude in the most productive way that I can. So, after I pull my head back, I start laughing because of how much space he closed. Of course, I wasn't thinking about space as a physical entity. I was merely feeling space. I tell him, "Man, you almost kissed me. Haha, you almost kissed me." He starts laughing and doesn't know what to say. He starts stuttering and is utterly unsure of what to think. That's the way that I feel about it. He pulls back as I pull back, but after I said that he actually moved back into the position that he was in. Then literally, 5 seconds later. This librarian shows up that commented on my ringtone that went off a couple days ago.

She felt the urge to butt into the conversation. I can't say that we were actually being that quiet though. However, it's funny because her comment about my ringtone was in a manner that would establish a conversation. She had seen me sleeping on the library bean bags then after I checked my emails and my phone went off she spoke up. Subtle way of her telling me that she was watching me. She places herself in a position where I can clearly see her in relation to my friend. The topic that she brings up is so inane. She was telling him about his work hours. Knowing my friend, I'm sure he already knew about the work hours. She didn't stay long, but it felt like she wanted to just be a part of the conversation.

Like the bird and the tree analogy. I didn't say anything to her because I let her handle whatever business she had come over to handle. Off and away she flew with the same smile that she entered with.

What's REALLY cool to me is that this could happen given our different approaches. But then again, from http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 221#p31508: Guess where I got this terminology from? I really, really like this. Not necessarily (but I appreciate the sentiment, though ). Check it: pretty much everything of value that i've said on this forum has been learned from/inspired by Kidd!! & 'Grinus. Perhaps i'm just saying it in a different way? Ohhhh yes..... And the timing of this experience vs. what you were reading at the time is duly noted .

...........
*cups hand around mouth, yelling*:
HEY DALI:

I figured I was gonna drop the 'mad man hat' sooner or later - just didn't know when.

Thanks for the words of encouragement, guys.

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"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"

I thought this story might be relevant.

I'm working on a final paper for a class to end the school year. I'm writing on gender and sexuality. So, I'm sitting in the library after having gathered double digits in books to write the paper. I'm skimming a lot of the books because they're applicable, and I'm tossing others.

I didn't notice it at first, but as I was reading and taking notes on the books that I was studying the noise level in the library started to go up. This was over a couple hours. Soon it got to a fever pitch. I couldn't believe the noise level was so high. However, that didn't stop me from pursuing my work.

Then people do as people do in libraries and start sssshhhing each other. The interesting thing is that people started laughing and the noise level just went up even higher. I look up and notice a couple females looking at me. Then I get back to work. All of a sudden there comes a lot of shouting, "Study Harder." An entourage of streakers run through the library shouting the same message.

I take notice of this fact because I'm writing about gender and sexuality. It also happens that I decide to work in the library on the same day that they decided to pull this stunt. What's even more interesting is that I was totally unconcerned with the streakers!

I didn't even look up from my book until a guy hit me while he was climbing over furniture. I'm not sure if he hit me with his penis or his foot, but I do remember him apologizing while he was running. Interestingly, enough around 20 people ran past me. When I looked up totaling about 3 seconds, I didn't see a single genitalia. I'm surprised that I didn't see any, but I had no interest in seeing any. I'm even more surprised that I wasn't grossed out or interested in looking at any of the men or women running in the library. I saw two women's asses in the 3 seconds that I looked up and it didn't even register a blip on my radar.

I also wasn't concerned with the fact that the guy that hit me might have slapped me with me dick. However, as I reflect on the situation, I find it kind of funny if he did slap me that way because I often joke to myself about slapping a woman in the face with my dick. To get slapped by another person of the same sex in a nonsexual context is just hilarious.

Anyway, I have to get back to studying.

O.o WTF!?

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GMST

Went again last weekend to see a movie, by myself, and had a large crowd. It was the opening weekend for The Great Gatsby movie I was seeing. To be honest, the large crowd made me feel a bit awkward for a few minutes, but that feeling passed quickly and I really enjoyed the movie. Man, this is liberating, being able to do what you want, without depending on others!

And not having to appease others to the detriment of yourself!

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"Truth is not something that can be truly and deeply understood by having it spoon-fed to you." - Adyashanti

LOL Slim that shit is fucking hilarious

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"...There is only one thing you can do. Master that one thing!...What you must be doing is visualizing yourself at your most powerful. You don't need any external enemies. The only opponent you must fight, is none other than your own image."

For the record, I've always loved going out alone and have as long as I remember.

That voice however, is still always somewhere back there- 'what will people think!?' Though more muted now.

Those demons...we're on the same side now

....... and the more you do it, the more quickly it'll pass. It's nonexistent for me now. Toldja.

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"I will not grow in the light, until I pass through the darkest caverns of my heart..."

"Temet Nosce"

Oh yeah
Now that is the shit

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

The last couple of times I went out, I rolled solo and made no bones about it.

Sat in the best seat in the house. Chill as fuck.

People respected my space and were generally cool. The hosts and hostesses were attentive.

Actually, it was cool to just relax and really immerse myself in the moment. I might not have been able to do that with a friend to distract me.

I enjoyed myself fully.

myfacewhenihavenoideawhypeoplethinkgoingoutaloneissuchabigdeal.jpeg

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

I'll add up to that :

AS you may know, I have a piece of land in a small village (800 people).

Anyways, this summer I just went to the big place there to chill and see what's up and how the town lives.

So I sat on the bench, and sure enough, two hours later (probably), I see a couple of elders moving chairs and tables. I offer my help, which is reluctantly accepted at first.

As I help them install everything, they start to open up and offer me to eat with them.

Turns out there was a 'big event' where their chorus invited a well known young russian orchestra, to eat and for a show.

So I accept the invitation and then, when I see that they don't notice me anymore, sit back on the bench as if nothing happened.

Then, when they finished meeting the russians and start to eat, one elder come by the bench and invite me to their table, eating home made dishes.

After the meal, I helped them remove and put back the stuff. Then they ask me if I want to go see the show later in the afternoon.

I said yes and asked if I could watch the repetitions too, which was also accepted.

It was a beautiful show, in a beautiful place.

They later (midnight) invited me to eat again

It is to this day a shining memory to me.

Just putting it for me to recall this later on. And to cement the point

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler