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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 2:21 pm 
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fufe wrote:
Thing is I meet girls like this all my life, I believed it's normal, common.. I'm getting that it's not ?
Sounds like you are subconsciously attracting this type of girl you need to do a little more soul searching and figure out why. But from what it sounds like you have the save-a-ho syndrome something that I am still currently working on so I will no longer be manipulated by these bitches I'm sure the Kidd, Peregrinus, and Sniper would agree.

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:35 pm 
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fufe wrote:
Thing is she told me about a guy she wanted - that everything was good, but he didn't do anything and nothing happened. Then he moved away, so she protected herself from getting hurt by tellin herself he's a friend from now on.

Does it change anything ? Or not

So what you're saying is that you should allow a woman's past experiences dictate your actions?

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 7:45 pm 
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Scarf wrote:
fufe wrote:
Thing is she told me about a guy she wanted - that everything was good, but he didn't do anything and nothing happened. Then he moved away, so she protected herself from getting hurt by tellin herself he's a friend from now on.

Does it change anything ? Or not

So what you're saying is that you should allow a woman's past experiences dictate your actions?
No, but I think it didn't move on because he didn't take a step further ?


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 8:20 pm 
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Man! Sometimes I really wonder about you guys!


Anyway, that is the wrong answer. You are welcome to try again.

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 10:18 pm 
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Scarf wrote:
Man! Sometimes I really wonder about you guys!
TELL ME ABOUT IT. :?

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 1:30 am 
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I don't get it :|


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:02 am 
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You guys are still listening to what girls say, quit that shit.

Fufe, friendzone her, but don't do it so much that you slam all the doors shut, and don't make it look like you're overly trying to friendzone her, just be care-free around her and let her fill the space.

It may not happen right away because she'll be testing you to see if you'll eventually pour your heart out because that's what every fucking guy does, (which will give her the ego gratification that she wants and then you're dust in the wind) but eventually she won't be able to take it anymore, she'll reach critical mass and make her move.

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:05 am 
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ManniJa wrote:
You guys are still listening to what girls say, quit that shit.

Fufe, friendzone her, but don't do it so much that you slam all the doors shut, and don't make it look like you're overly trying to friendzone her, just be care-free around her and let her fill the space.

It may not happen right away because she'll be testing you to see if you'll eventually pour your heart out because that's what every fucking guy does, (which will give her the ego gratification that she wants and then you're dust in the wind) but eventually she won't be able to take it anymore, she'll reach critical mass and make her move.
Ok I thought about this. I'm going to do what you advise.
Especially about the heart pouring :D, Mannija, I think this girl needs a man stronger than her psychologically, more then others...
I'm also sure you have to be strong enough to handle her emotions.. Isn't for everybody.. Thing is like Resonance said, I attract these types.. And I like them. And untill now I wasn't strong enough. I'm actually starting to be grateful for my past, with girls.. without it I wouldn't me motivated much (if at all) to become stronger inside..
I did some thinking. The girl, this or another similar is just a bonus to me now.. The bonus when I become stronger, independent of her (or anyone's really..) feelings, hopefully indefferent too..


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:16 am 
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You are letting her lead.

That is so messed up.

What have you gleaned from this thread so far?
Which parts have you implemented?
What outcomes have you seen occur as a result of those implementations?

What is the question you really want to ask but are shying away from?

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:42 am 
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peregrinus wrote:
You are letting her lead.

That is so messed up.

What have you gleaned from this thread so far?
Which parts have you implemented?
What outcomes have you seen occur as a result of those implementations?

What is the question you really want to ask but are shying away from?
How do you lead without making steps further ? I don't really get it..
I understand I have to give her space, but somehow she will just do something by herself, is that it ?


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:52 am 
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Fufe, I suggest you watch some Brent Smith videos on indifference and not pursuing.

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:46 am 
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fufe wrote:
I understand I have to give her space, but somehow she will just do something by herself, is that it ?
She'll do whatever she does with that space.

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:34 am 
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Continuing to what Alchemist said:

The worst part and maybe you don't realize it (or don't want to) is that you want and maybe expect that she do something with that space (in the remote case you give it to her) that goes in favour of your emotional investment of her. Then you fear she will lose interest because your "inactivity" (at least that's what I percieve in your writings), thus failing to giving that wonderful sacred place of male nothingness she craves from you. Let the bitch do this kind of thing, to wonder about you, to imagine sappy shit with you, or loose interest, or hate you or whatever she wants to think; let her fill the blanks alone. Then let it go.

Use this precious time to introspect every detail of this thread. :)

And one more thing.
Hunting of fishing...?

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:50 am 
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Ok, precise, but still doesn't adress my uestiona about leading without taking a step.
I'm getting more confused the more I talk with you guys.


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:03 pm 
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How about answering the questions i posed instead of ignoring them, they were asked for a reason.

Also
She is leading by default at the moment, has she had to step to do that?

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:29 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
What have you gleaned from this thread so far?
Which parts have you implemented?
What outcomes have you seen occur as a result of those implementations?

What is the question you really want to ask but are shying away from?
I get that I attract this type somehow, but I don't mind it.
Problem is that the advice (or at least it seems) is different from everybody and I have no idea what to do, so I didn't answer those uestions - I have nothing to tell you really. I'm confused. I think I have to do something, then somebod says something else and I'm confused again. And don't tell I don't have to do anything, what I'm doing now doesn't work..
I don't know how to start leading, I have no idea after this thread


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:15 pm 
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What happened to :

"Her loss"
"Who cares what she thinks ?"
"Never listen to what she says"
"People treat you the way you let them treat you" or "MIRROR"
"There's plenty of fish in the sea"
"What is the REAL problem here ?"
"LET IT GO"

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:29 pm 
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GoldenBoy wrote:
"LET IT GO"
Fix'd ;)

I fully endorse this statement :ugeek:

You're stressing about nothing dude live your life let her chase you if she decides to just as Goldenboy said:
Quote:
"Her loss"
"Who cares what she thinks ?"
"Never listen to what she says"
"People treat you the way you let them treat you" or "MIRROR"
"There's plenty of fish in the sea"
"What is the REAL problem here ?"

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:47 pm 
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I actually think she's scared, and not confident enough to do anything. My gut's been telling this since the begining. But you guys are telling me otherwise, I don't know.

I remembered some stuff.. may be evidence, or not.
- One evening there were 4 of us, watching TV movies etc.. Guy asked her if she's got a boyfriend or something (He always pops up things like these randomly), she told him no.. "Just one guy but we're friends now." She called and reffered to me as friend 5 times that night. And she doesn't do that normally, never.

Btw there was a time when we remained alone at a bar, we talked about stuff - It was me basically being a therapist, not emotional tampon, as far as my succes with that goes. There were moments when I felt like I should make a step but I didn't. was that a fail to lead or not ?

I thought I remembered more but screw it I guess, you are only going to tell to me let it go. It's cool but how am I going to learn anything this way, I'm doing the same shit from time to time.

It's cool I don't get her, I will meet somebody else.. It's just it takes lots of time for someboddy I like to show up


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:55 pm 
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fufe wrote:
I actually think she's scared, and not confident enough to do anything. My gut's been telling this since the begining. But you guys are telling me otherwise, I don't know.
peregrinus wrote:
From what I read, some space to let her trust herself to let it out with you will help.
She is already starting down that path, let her follow it. She is already opening up, more than you probably realise, for her, where she is.

Have patience and leave the door open for her.
How is this otherwise?

If you take the time to read it, you will find it is not.

There is a reason I posted that at the start......
peregrinus wrote:
Let her step forward into the space.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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