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PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 3:47 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:22 pm
Posts: 240
Hello everyone i met this woman while volunteering and we traveled together for a month.

The last week she started feeling unconfortabke sleeping in the same room as me

I was needy at one point and said im not here to be platonic friends when she mentioned we are friends after we had sex multiple times throughout our travels

One bad sex episode where she said she was hurting as i leaned her back after lots of foreplay then I got too emotional and brought up the fact that she started being more distant.

She asked if I never wanted to have sex with you again you wouldnt want to be my friend?
I said we could be cool

She said this showed my true colors and got upset.
saying we should go out seperate ways

I apoligized because i realized this wasnt necessary as friend zone is in the mind

She agreed to travel with me to florida at another volunteer hosts place

Anyways recently we seperated rooms


I had to get a seperate room in the house becuause
She felt uncomfortable even when I wasnt trying to do
anything just allowinfg the body to feel sexuality without .
making moves in the bed.

And he said lets leave this volunteer placr and go back to atlanta to my parents

I told her I also ready to leave because i didnt like the place aside from her and agreed to leaving saturday
I had a gut feeling the place wasnt good even if she wasnt there

Still cold and distant when she talked to Mr

At one point she said if you want to be in the friendzone you have no say.

Then we drove back to atlanta last Saturday and she told me she has an airbnb paid for a week

Thinking she wanted to come back to my parents apartments where we have stayed and had slept together
before I drop her off at the airbnb

She initiates his text yesterday

Her :God I needed this space I'm already feeling so much better and so much more aligned within myself.


Me: Thumbs up sign

Her; you doing alright..getting lots of sunlight

Me:yes.shooting some hoops

Next morning

Her1/2 Idk why I feel like such an oppressive kind of energy here. Like judementalism. It's seriously killing the vibe I'm going for, but I might just be really and goes.on about how she thinks she could be more shame resilient

Calls me at 6am and I was asleep

Was gonna call her after running errands in the evening
to reciprocrate her missed call

Then she texts me before I call and I dont know how to respond if I should return her miss call in this situation
or reply back with a thumbs up sign or cool


Her;I do want you to know I've already forgiven you. I've forgiven us both. I do want us to be friends but I have to do me. There is no question

Not sure if this msg warrants a response.Dont want to make it seem like I'm butthurt by ignoring her?

I do feel some hurt due to her distancing herself
and wondering if I should reciprorate if this is a sign of interest instead of not replying

Msg sent by her yesterday evening

I know on here there was mentioned a 50/50 rule for reciprocrating

Thanks fellas

I do appreciate any input


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 5:26 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:51 pm
Posts: 1849
Location: Laniakea Supercluster
No

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 5:51 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:22 pm
Posts: 240
Appreciate it Mr Jared

I did not reach out and she called me while I was
helping a lady at this place im volunteering a couple pf hours ago

Said that she wanted to call me as a friend and hear my
voice.Talked briefly and she mentioned that she needs to do inner work and brought up a traumatizing
experience in the past and cried.Then told her i have to get back to work .Like me she wants to travel the country in a vehicle and has mirrored me at interesting times when thr consciousness has thoughts about dropping the volunteering and livingout of my vehicle.

We are both introverts.In the beggining she practically came to my bed and jumped on top of me.This was
shortly after we.first met.

Then I got needy and it got to a poiny of no eye contact
And asking me to knock on the door while she left the door.We slept together several timrs.made out ,banged,etc..And she said no means no how many times do i have to tell you after not asking her to bang

After the volunteer host gave me a seperate room
and asked if she should ask her to leave i said let her stay
because I didnt want her to not have a place to stay

Then the girl got colder towards me after an incidient
Where my car.wouldnt.start she.texted my dad multiple
times complaining of my lack.of attention to.the vehicle
leaving an oil cap open by and oil spilling

My mother told me she was complaining to my father
sending many texts.I went with the tow truck company
and took care of business.It was a minor security glitch
that locked the engine and they said no big deal with the oil spill.Then we drove back to.atlanta with very little conversation

Thank you fellas


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2019 12:58 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:08 pm
Posts: 3076
Location: UK
caliboy85 wrote: *
Her :God I needed this space I'm already feeling so much better and so much more aligned within myself.
No

For some reason I want to say you are holding on too tight.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2019 8:02 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:11 am
Posts: 820
Quote:
And she said no means no how many times do i have to tell you after not asking her to bang
What?

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2019 5:47 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:22 pm
Posts: 240
Hey fellas appreciate the replies

Long story short in doing inner work
she started reachibg out while I was v
volunteering 40 mins away

I invited her to the place I was volunteering
At solo on day 3

There was an awkward vibe i got from her and the host

She said would you like to step outside because your
friend seems uncomfortable

We go for a walk and i call the lady giving her a heads up
that we are at the park down the street and will be back soon

The husband calls me moments later and said we need to pack up and leave

We go back to my parents apartments
and bang.She appeared more submissive

Now she is asking me to drive her to her
Cousins who will give her a vehicle so she
Can proceed with her dream of traveling cross country
in a vehicle

While she will be helping him with his family.business
he said I could camp in drive way.and she can stay inside
Since shes family or outside but he would need talk
to his wife about us sharing tooms.

Also mentioned he would pay for airbnb rooms for us

I too would be interested in the travel as I would like to learn how to live in low populated areas in a vehicle

We have different habits for example she gets up and 4am and likes to get work done or drive then

Whereas im usually up.around 8 or 9 and can adapt some

And at the same time I would like my own space

Not feeling rushed to go to the next town on someone elses agenda

She would have her own vehicle

Just dont want to get simped along going cross country
with little savings

I do have 300 in savings and trying to find online work and start my own business.

Also keep up with the inner work

If i go on the trip with her tommorow it would eat into savings and I would have to keep asking my parents.for help unless I made online income fast

I dont want to make a decision tnat is ungrounded fellas

I know im not perfect by any means and this woman had a bipolar diagnoses.Road trips in.the same vehicle.have not gone well in the past.This time.she would have her own

She has an appoimtment with him tommorow evening

Not sure how id be treated on her terrain

I dont want to make a foolish decision

Would driving her to her cousins and having her teach me
about vehichle camping be a form of supplication and ahould i just tell her to take a greyhound?

Appreciate it Fellas


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 31, 2019 11:32 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:22 pm
Posts: 240
Made a video on some things I learned from inner work

Still easier said than done but thanks to consultations with

Flow on this journey he has opened up some things

Others on this forum as well

Learning to reduce logic

Going more with feelings

Thank you fellas for your experiences in the matrix

Still challenging at times



https://youtu.be/9zfudxj4CYE


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 4:24 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:22 pm
Posts: 240
Question fellas

What would be a wise thing to do when the woman wants to cuddle with you and hold her but it doesn't lead to anything?

I usually end up getting blueballs. She is usually wrapped around her own blanket coming to my bed or asking me to lay next to her.

When i try to make advances 9/10 nothing happens and when i don't do anything and just lay there nothing happens either.I can feel

sexual energy but it doesn't seem to amount to anything except erections.She is here till friday then will be going on a cross country road

trip.

Any input would be appreciated


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:40 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:41 am
Posts: 266
Location: Greece
peregrinus wrote: *
fufe wrote:
"So man/I has to offer a woman many things - being more strong than her, being the authority in the relationship, offering her security... But what does a woman offer him/me, really ?"
This is why I talk about realising your own worth.

You have so many things to offer, as a man, that you do not realise as you take them for granted (not you specifically, all men).

A question I ask of women is: what can you offer me that is different from other women?
What makes you different and worth spending my time on?

I also ask these questions to myself.

What does this woman have that will improve my life?
What does this woman have that will degrade my life?

On balance, would it be good for my life to spend time with her?

Ponder on those questions, they will provide many thoughts.
http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.ph ... 288#p11477

Quote:
What is opportunity cost?

Opportunity cost refers to the value a person could have received but passed up in pursuit of another option.

This is one of the most fundamental concepts in economics and understanding opportunity cost is crucial to decision-making.

For example, when you dress up like a cow for a free chicken sandwich or wait in a long line to get a $1 sub for a restaurant promotion, you might actually not be getting that great of a deal. That “free” sandwich? Well, even if your cow costume was made with stuff you already had, you still gave up the opportunity to do something else with your time. Same goes for the $1 sandwich. All that time you spent in line cost you the opportunity to do something else – like working, studying, or even playing video games.

Opportunity cost is certainly a useful concept to our everyday lives.
https://mru.org/dictionary-economics/op ... definition

All that time you spent with her, hoping she would welcome your advances at some point, cost you the opportunity to do something else – like finding what you love to do and maximizing your potential, or stepping outside your comfort zone and growing and developing into a better version of yourself.

Also, why would you even want to hook up with someone who turns you down all the time?

By the way, living with her breeds overfamiliarity which makes things even worse.
Not to mention your clinginess.

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The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 10:30 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:11 am
Posts: 820
Please digest Zogler's reply as much as possible. It would be great if it could somehow pop-up as required reading after every "what should I do in situation X.." out there.

It is valuable to very honest with yourself about exactly what you are asking and intending for yourself, as much as possible, at all times.

Does "what would be a wise thing" translate into "how can I get sex out of this" -- it seems like it is.

Which is inherently unwise, and a non-useful mentality for many reasons.

Would a wise man be in this situation, or if they found themselves in it, continue to put energy into it? See opportunity cost again, perfect concept to bring up.

It IS possible to be fine hanging out with a woman and have some physical intimacy that is not sexual. But only if you are actually are fine with it and enjoy it. If you don't, which you don't, well then...

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 3:30 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:51 pm
Posts: 1849
Location: Laniakea Supercluster
Hard reset, soft reset, fall back

YOU can checkout any time, you ain't married

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