Natural Freedom

Forum for the natural awakening and self-realization of men
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:00 pm 
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Alchemist wrote:
Women aren't male athletes, they're women and they will behave as such.

No woman would ever 'never leave you for the world'....not one, you're delluded.

didn't you say that you won't spend anymore time to "explain" this to me :)?

Anyway, first of all, you agreed with ManniJa as he said that a woman would never love me for me, because (according to you and ManniJa) she would love me only for my value. So can you tell me what's the difference between me, and the value i offer? What's the difference between a woman loving me, and a woman loving the value i offer?

Secondly, you said that women are women, and they will behave as such. Define "such" please. I would like to know how ALL women behave, all women without exception.

Lastly, do you have any proof that says that i'm deluded (concerning the relationships subject)? Can it not be that you are the one deluded here?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:21 pm 
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I will admit my language was strong, I will do my best to refrain from doing this in the future and yes I did say I would stop trying you help you wake up, I will hereby stick to that resolve.

One last thing, my opinions on this subject are formed from my experience with women so far, I only know what I know, which is not everything.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:27 pm 
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...and those that know everything know when to shut the fuck up and let life happen. :mrgreen:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:30 pm 
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Alchemist wrote:
I will admit my language was strong, I will do my best to refrain from doing this in the future and yes I did say I would stop trying you help you wake up, I will hereby stick to that resolve.

One last thing, my opinions on this subject are formed from my experience with women so far, I only know what I know, which is not everything.

i didn't say that your language was strong. I just wasn't really sure who's the one who needs the "explaining", is it me or you? But you clarified this to me now by not being able to answer my questions.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:49 pm 
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By the way Alchemist, i'm not saying that i'm right, but if you are looking for a right path for you, then i would advise you to look for answers. Not being able to answer my questions made me now see that you have unclarities about your own opinions, and this makes me wonder how convinced you really are of what you're saying. Don't let your ego act up (as you would say to me :) ) and don't let it stand in your way.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:16 pm 
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Barca wrote:
So can you tell me what's the difference between me, and the value i offer? What's the difference between a woman loving me, and a woman loving the value i offer??
I'm just beginning to learn this myself so I can't tell you, I don't trust women and I don't believe in love.
Barca wrote:

Secondly, you said that women are women, and they will behave as such. Define "such" please. I would like to know how ALL women behave, all women without exception.
By that I meant women will behave like women, that's all, what that entails has already been discussed in this forum.
Barca wrote:
Lastly, do you have any proof that says that i'm deluded (concerning the relationships subject)? Can it not be that you are the one deluded here?
The proof is in most of your posts in this thread, I was delluded because I had similar beliefs as you at one point in time, I do tend to generalize but the way I see it, it's preventing me from fucking up even worse than I have before.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:23 pm 
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Barca wrote:

thanks. But would all women without exception revoke the agreement?


If they choose to.




Quote:
Your example of Luis Figo is just what i mean. So what if Figo left Barca for a better Real Madrid at that time?


He chose to.


Quote:
Does this mean that everyone would act the same?


People can act how they choose.


Quote:
Why didn't players like Puyol, Xavi, Rivaldo or Cocu leave Barca for a better club at that time?


They chose not to.


Quote:
So you can't really tell that my girl would act like Figo, because she might act like Xavi, and wouldn't leave me for the world.


She can act how she chooses to.



Good Luck, Barca.

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Sparkling All Over


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 4:53 pm 
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Alchemist,

since you don't know the difference between me and the value i offer, then you can't really say that a woman would only love the value i offer and not me, can you?

Another thing, i still think you are generalising some behaviour patterns of some women on ALL women, which is not right at all. Not all women act or think the same way, you have to realise that. Generalising on all women and thinking that they're all selfish and using, would save you from undergoing pain, but on the other hand it would make you miss a lot more on pleasure, this is how i see it. In the end it's your decision.

Lastly, if you see through my posts that i'm delluded and you see that as a proof, then sorry, but i don't see it as a proof. And as i mentioned, instead of saying it to other people, you should first check whether you're delluded or not, i'm saying this for your own sake.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:34 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
'Grinus...need some back up in here. :lol:
Okey dokey :ugeek:
The Kidd!! wrote:
if you are indeed focused on their WANTS...then things are not going to end well for you.
THIS!
rant wrote:
that thing about, the "special one girl" is nothing more than a a program in your head.
THIS!

Before anyone comments, this comes personally from observation.
Many moons ago I did believe in the 'special one' - I do not anymore.

There are women who will be a good match for me. To think there is only one is foolish. To think one is above all the others is foolish also.
scarface wrote:
When it comes to (try to) making a women feel what they want and feel as good feelings, that's what ime keeps them coming back for more. If you feel totally indifferent towards that, and don't give her the good feelings. You'll encounter that most women won't want you. I do think it is good to feel indifferent about if you didn't manage to give her the good feelings you tried to give her, but you did gave it your best effort.
FUCK THAT!

Whatever happened to space.

Fuck giving them good feelings, give them the space to create them themselves.
The Kidd!! wrote:
I still think you guys are confusing indifference with apathy. :|

You guys are assuming that you cannot properly love your woman while being indifferent...I'm telling you that you CAN. My keeper is VERY happy with the way I am towards her. Doesn't make me any less loving, affectionate or caring. You guys really just are not getting where I'm coming from. :|
Apathy is described as :
Quote:
apathy, a profound intellectual and emotional indifference suggestive of faculties either naturally sluggish or dulled by emotional disturbance, mental illness, or prolonged sickness;
Indifference is described as:
Quote:
Lack of interest or concern: We were shocked by their indifference toward poverty.
Unimportance; little or no concern: Whether or not to attend the party is a matter of indifference to him.
The quality or condition of being indifferent.
There is quite a difference between the two.

Indifference is NOT apathy, apathy is NOT indifference.

Indifference in this sense is to her being with you, her choosing to spend time with you.

Indifference means being that tree.
If she comes towards you, you do not call her forward.
If she goes away, you do not call her back.

When the bird is perched on the tree, the tree is a tree, regardless of what bird is perched there. When the bird leaves the tree does not miss the bird. When another bird perches the tree is still the same tree.

-

A woman I was seeing a couple of years ago still calls me now, she called over the weekend. Describing me as very loving, extremely supportive of her, let her be herself - rather than the mask, let her feel her emotions fully - rather than controlling or dismissing.
She says she never felt so loved in her life, had not been so connected with someone or loved someone so much and so deeply.

Was I indifferent when I was with her - YES!
Did I connect with her emotionally and physically - YES!
Did I take her wants and needs above my own - NO!
Did I take her wants and needs into consideration when they did not clash with my own - YES!

Are the two mutually exclusive - NO!

--

She could have walked at any time and I would have carried on as I was before I met her.
In the end, I was the one who ended it, I walked away after explaining why. I carried on as I was before I met her.

I can live with or without her, I can enjoy myself with or without her, I can have fun with or without her.

Does this mean I did not enjoy my time with her, NO! - I did enjoy the time with her and connected with her on a deep level.

Did this affect who I am - NO! I am me, I was me before I met her, I am me now, afterwards.

She respects this greatly, the fact that I ended how I started.
She knows I am the same person, I was being myself, that I am not trying to get anything from her.

Would she go out with me again? - in a heartbeat.
FANTASTIC POST. Deserves to be a thread on its own methinks.

Indifference vs Apathy clearly explained.

PS : Again, didn't read the rest of the thread (except Kidd's posts).

_________________
By searching first and posting questions only if you find no answers, everyone will be much happier
No matter HOW smart you think you ARE, there will ALWAYS be somebody who is smarter than you. So never underestimate people.


Fravia+


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:32 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:

You're selling yourself short, Barca...as long as you believe that it will always be YOUR reality. :ugeek:
reminds me of Huna:
The world is what you believe it to be.

_________________
Laying on the floor in a pool of blood and cum
My demons lay beside as I kiss them one by one
Then on that day I met a force that nothing will compare
I was born the son of evil when I fuck the devil there!


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:03 pm 
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peregrinus wrote: *
rant wrote:
that thing about, the "special one girl" is nothing more than a a program in your head.
THIS!

Before anyone comments, this comes personally from observation.
Many moons ago I did believe in the 'special one' - I do not anymore.

There are women who will be a good match for me. To think there is only one is foolish. To think one is above all the others is foolish also.

Do You Believe in Soulmates? Should You?
Quote:
Let’s journey through four perspectives on soulmates and look at the impact each of these definitions can have on your intimate relationship:

1. Your Soulmate is Your Perfect Match.

Research by social psychologists Spike W. S. Lee and Norbert Schwartz (2014) indicates that believing your soulmate is your perfect match can set you up for unhealthy patterns. They found that people who use a perfect-match definition of soulmates tend to experience overreactions to conflict and lower relationship satisfaction. It makes sense, right? If I believe that you are my perfect match, when we bump up against inevitable conflict or our “fall from grace,” I am going to feel disappointed and confused. People who subscribe to this perspective tend to use the language of "should" when talking about love: “It shouldn’t feel like this.” “We shouldn’t have this problem.”

3. Your Soulmate Is Your Fellow Traveler.

“People think that they have to find their soulmate to have a good marriage. Anyone you meet already has soulmates: their mother, their father, their lifelong friends. You get married, and after twenty years of loving, bearing, and raising kids, and meeting challenges, you’ll ‘create’ your soulmate.” (Diane Sollee)

This quote from the former director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, focuses on love as a journey that two people take together. Moving through space and time together creates the soulmate bond. The research project that highlighted greater relationship dissatisfaction among those who see soulmates as the perfect match also found that those who view soulmates as fellow travelers tended to have more adaptive perspectives on relationships. There’s a joke that fits with this definition. A man approaches his rabbi and asks, “How do I know whether my wife is my soulmate?” The rabbi answers, “You know because you are married to her.”

Many students have commented that this perspective takes some of the pressure off. You don’t have to know whether he or she is your soulmate by the second date! What matters is whether this person is a worthy travel companion—someone with whom you can build that “relationship of constancy.” This perspective feels pragmatic, loyal, and without angst. Here, there’s no churning about the existential, the metaphysical, the unknown. There’s no “Are we?” or “Aren’t we?” It’s just you and me, moving through days, months, and years together, continuing to show up because we are an “us.” Lovely.

4. Your Soulmate Wakes You Up.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.” (Elizabeth Gilbert)

I love the wake-up call of this definition, the invitation to growth. In my experience, people tend to find Gilbert's words unsettling for two reasons. First, woven into the definition is the inevitability of pain. It’s not smooth sailing. You will see parts of yourself you haven’t seen before. You will come face-to-face with your past, your shadow, your hiding places, your tender spots. Second, according to Gilbert, soulmate relationships are vital and time-limited. No “till death do us part” here! A soulmate relationship creates a crisis and a crucible for transformation, allowing us to experience, in the next relationship, a more conscious love. Do I believe that crisis, transformation, and more-conscious love can happen all with the same partner? Of course. Happy couples have several different marriages within their marriage.

What I also like and value about Gilbert’s perspective is that rather than viewing a relationship that has ended as a failure, she opens the possibility of viewing a relationship that has ended as a completion. The relationship did what it was created to do, and now it is complete.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/bl ... should-you

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The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 9:50 pm 
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'Every beginning has an end and every end is a new beginning.'

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 7:16 pm 
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Perhaps instead of viewing it as indifference

Being Present with emotions


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2019 4:14 pm 
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Finding "The One"
Quote:
“How do I know when I’ve found The One?” – Austin, Baltimore, MD

This idea of finding “The One” is problematic for relationships. The paradox of choice creates a real sense of anxiety for people looking to find a long-term partner. The expectations of one person to satisfy all of our many emotional, physical, and spiritual needs is a tall order for one individual.

Perhaps, instead of looking for a person who checks all the boxes, focus on a person with whom you can imagine yourself writing a story with that entails edits and revisions. As a reminder, there are no perfect stories.
https://estherperel.com/blog/finding-the-one

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The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2019 4:51 pm 
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Btw, comparing to the original post, seeing how much I've changed.. Oh boy
Maybe it's time to write a followup post


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