'Grinus...need some back up in here.
if you are indeed focused on their WANTS...then things are not going to end well for you.
that thing about, the "special one girl" is nothing more than a a program in your head.
Before anyone comments, this comes personally from observation.
Many moons ago I did believe in the 'special one' - I do not anymore.
There are women who will be a good match for me. To think there is only one is foolish. To think one is above all the others is foolish also.
When it comes to (try to) making a women feel what they want and feel as good feelings, that's what ime keeps them coming back for more. If you feel totally indifferent towards that, and don't give her the good feelings. You'll encounter that most women won't want you. I do think it is good to feel indifferent about if you didn't manage to give her the good feelings you tried to give her, but you did gave it your best effort.
Whatever happened to space.
Fuck giving them good feelings, give them the space to create them themselves.
think you guys are confusing indifference with apathy.
You guys are assuming that you cannot properly love your woman while being indifferent...I'm telling you that you CAN. My keeper is VERY happy with the way I am towards her. Doesn't make me any less loving, affectionate or caring. You guys really just are not getting where I'm coming from.
Apathy is described as :
apathy, a profound intellectual and emotional indifference suggestive of faculties either naturally sluggish or dulled by emotional disturbance, mental illness, or prolonged sickness;
Indifference is described as:
Lack of interest or concern: We were shocked by their indifference toward poverty.
Unimportance; little or no concern: Whether or not to attend the party is a matter of indifference to him.
The quality or condition of being indifferent.
There is quite a difference between the two.
Indifference is NOT apathy, apathy is NOT indifference.
Indifference in this sense is to her being with you, her choosing to spend time with you.
Indifference means being that tree.
If she comes towards you, you do not call her forward.
If she goes away, you do not call her back.
When the bird is perched on the tree, the tree is a tree, regardless of what bird is perched there. When the bird leaves the tree does not miss the bird. When another bird perches the tree is still the same tree.
A woman I was seeing a couple of years ago still calls me now, she called over the weekend. Describing me as very loving, extremely supportive of her, let her be herself - rather than the mask, let her feel her emotions fully - rather than controlling or dismissing.
She says she never felt so loved in her life, had not been so connected with someone or loved someone so much and so deeply.
Was I indifferent when I was with her - YES!
Did I connect with her emotionally and physically - YES!
Did I take her wants and needs above my own - NO!
Did I take her wants and needs into consideration when they did not clash with my own - YES!
Are the two mutually exclusive - NO!
She could have walked at any time and I would have carried on as I was before I met her.
In the end, I was the one who ended it, I walked away after explaining why. I carried on as I was before I met her.
I can live with or without her, I can enjoy myself with or without her, I can have fun with or without her.
Does this mean I did not enjoy my time with her, NO! - I did enjoy the time with her and connected with her on a deep level.
Did this affect who I am - NO! I am me, I was me before I met her, I am me now, afterwards.
She respects this greatly, the fact that I ended how I started.
She knows I am the same person, I was being myself, that I am not trying to get anything from her.
Would she go out with me again? - in a heartbeat.
FANTASTIC POST. Deserves to be a thread on its own methinks.
Indifference vs Apathy clearly explained.
PS : Again, didn't read the rest of the thread (except Kidd's posts).