This thing confused me to. I got the feeling the answer was don't really give a fuck about the interaction, but.. if that was the case...you would never contact the girl in the first place, which is cool...but you wouldn't get anything. Which is fine its not like you need something from them, but are you not supposed to do anything unless girls actually take the iniative and make direct moves on you? That doesn't happen often. ( It might I haven't experinced it)
As for jocking or subtle shit, I mean get it but so what? Do you still not do anything unless they dilibrately come out with interest? (I mean like they tell you or do some stupidly obvious shit.)
Fuck it, do what you want and be disattached from outcome I guess.
You're right in a sense, but you need to go deeper. This is something that bothered me for quite a while too, so let me see if I can help you.
You can't just be indifferent as fuck and expect girls to just randomly show up in your bedroom with no clothes on. You still have to be willing to take some action when it is needed.
But if you're not indifferent and carefree first, then the action you take will be inappropriate and even if you happen to "do the right thing" in order for the interaction to progress, your attachment to the outcome is going to twist your insides all up in knots and fuck you up.
Caliboy's initial post reeked of neediness and attachment to the outcome. He was asking if his actions were correct, and it didn't even matter because the foundation of indifference wasn't there.
Until he can become his own best friend and become indifferent not as a technique, but as a core state of being, it doesn't matter whether he takes the "right" actions or not. He was asking the wrong question, which is why nobody answered the question in his opening post, but instead told him to examine what he wrote and look deeper.
If I was on the outside looking in I would tell myself what the fuck are you doing caring about where this interaction goes!!!!...who gives a fine fuck whether or not she invests in the interaction or not you fucking idiot!!Stop basing your sucess on wheter or not a woman responds to you because no single woman is responsible for your happiness.
You can see here that Caliboy actually looked beneath, down to the next deeper level, and saw that he was being needy, that he was pinning his happiness on some random woman and her response to him. This is good. Seeing this is a big step.
Next step is asking why, why, why. Why does he care what some random woman thinks? Why is he giving away his power to some girl? What does he think his interaction with her is going to give him? Many more why questions that follow.
This is inquiry. First observation, then inquiry. Grinus and others in this thread got Caliboy to finally look objectively, to observe himself.
Once he observed himself, he saw how needy he was and how far from indifference he was. Now he needs to do inquiry on it. To go deeper, deeper, deeper, and get to the core.
These are "pushups". This is the hard work, the heavy lifting that we are constantly recommending on this forum. Its not always pleasant, but its always worthwhile.
Once you've done this heavy lifting, once you've done the observation of yourself, and the inquiry, then you can start thinking about the "correct" action to take, but if you've really done the work and become your own best friend, then its usually not too hard at that point to see the proper path. When you're coming from that carefree, indifferent place, you can read advice by Kidd or Grinus, and it just clicks, and it all makes sense the first time. When you're coming from a place of neediness and attachement, you can read Kidd or Grinus's advice on what to DO a million times, and it still doesn't seem to make sense.
So, once you've done the inner work, you can do or not do, take action or not take action, and its all no big deal, there's not nearly as much to "get".
Hope that makes things clearer for you Flux.
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Also, thanks GB.
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