Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 10:06 am 
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StephenP wrote:
Hey The Kidd, that's a very insightful post that illustrates a lot of the super subtle signals women give that most men are oblivious to.

How I got fairly good at recognizing these things without getting stuck in analytical mode (which is not what you want to do when chatting up a girl) is just by not worrying about it in the moment, picking up what I naturally notice in real time, and then going back and analyzing the things girls would say or do while in conversation with me - after the fact.

Certain things that I didn't notice at first in real time would jump out at me after the fact. The more I did this, the more these subtle things would just jump out at me in real time, without me losing presence or going into total analytical mode. The better I became the harder it is to not notice these subtle signals. They begin to scream out at you, figuratively speaking.


Yes, experience and awareness of what is happening is what it takes. Anyone can do it :D


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 4:40 pm 
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TheDude wrote:
StephenP wrote:
Hey The Kidd, that's a very insightful post that illustrates a lot of the super subtle signals women give that most men are oblivious to.

How I got fairly good at recognizing these things without getting stuck in analytical mode (which is not what you want to do when chatting up a girl) is just by not worrying about it in the moment, picking up what I naturally notice in real time, and then going back and analyzing the things girls would say or do while in conversation with me - after the fact.

Certain things that I didn't notice at first in real time would jump out at me after the fact. The more I did this, the more these subtle things would just jump out at me in real time, without me losing presence or going into total analytical mode. The better I became the harder it is to not notice these subtle signals. They begin to scream out at you, figuratively speaking.


Yes, experience and awareness of what is happening is what it takes. Anyone can do it :D


This is my point exactly. Anyone CAN do it...it's up to them if they want it bad enough. :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 7:17 pm 
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bliss wrote:
freespirit422 wrote:
I try to stay away from thinking too much. One thought triggers the next and then BAM, I'm in a violent vortex of anxious thinking. My best analogy would be a broken record player. I'm fairly certain its some form of OCD, I can have one thought that sets me off and throws my brain into a perpetual loop that I have to try to pull myself out of. Not beneficial at all and certainly not a super computer lol.


Many people have this problem. Don't believe the medical term OCD :lol: all it is is a BAD HABIT. I had a few habits I believed to be OCD, but one day I took control of THE STEERING WHEEL and started driving STRAIGHT. Some bad habits take longer than others. I recommend you stop telling yourself its a form of OCD, because you'll start to believe it :?

I have changed my view on this post.

Recently, a classmate indulged me on her own experience with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and growing up with it.

She told me how it was frustrating to hear people tell her most of the time that it's not 'real' and only in her head, but for her it was very REAL...she was experiencing it everyday!

I'm glad her and I had that conversation. :D


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 12:24 am 
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I've been diagnosed with that same illness (ADD/ADHD, yes both) to the point that I was FIVE times above the standard level of diagnosis. Did I struggle with school NO.

I must have had it since I was a child. I stayed in the top 25% of my high school class.

I also didn't take medication for it until college.

Here's the thing Bliss.....I didn't stop devoting my mental faculties to learning about the world at or just before puberty like most women because I can just manipulate another man to do it for me.

If you did hear a sob story how does it stack up with facts about how she deals with men and handles her life?

If you don't have an excuse then you have to functionally cope with your problems or cure them or bury your head in the sand until you can't do it anymore.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 12:51 am 
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Slim, how would you have responded if instead of "She told me how..." I wrote, "He told me how..."?


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 2:26 am 
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bliss wrote:
Slim, how would you have responded if instead of "She told me how..." I wrote, "He told me how..."?


Same way actually even though I'm not the benchmark for ADD/ADHD because I'm one of the worst case scenarios. Look at the last sentence of my post. It's gender neutral.

I'm definitely going to invalidate that experience about ADD/ADHD because I have FIVE times worse than the standard case. I even exhibit the symptoms that make it hard for clinical psychologists to diagnose.

The "illness" is actually a unique strength.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/612.html

Someone with ADD/ADHD can learn things incredibly easier and faster than someone without it. If they struggled in school or work it means that they didn't take the time to find the interesting part about it.

Does that not speak to some certain themes around here?

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 5:37 pm 
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Yeah, probably would've been the same, but without this part:

Quote:
Here's the thing Bliss.....I didn't stop devoting my mental faculties to learning about the world at or just before puberty like most women because I can just manipulate another man to do it for me.

If you did hear a sob story how does it stack up with facts about how she deals with men and handles her life?


Look Slim, what she did was shed some light for me on her own experience with ADD and what it was like.

My mindset before the conversation was that I believed that much of the ADD was people just being 'weak' and not taking responsibility for themselves. I was looking at it from my own perspective, not having experienced ADD.

If she does manipulate men, that's not my problem at the moment. She can and will do whatever she wants.

When and if she deals with me, then I'm more interested with her intentions and how she acts.

For now, we are just two people conversating.

If she decides to choose ME, then another path will be taken. :)

-

Slim Titan wrote:
The "illness" is actually a unique strength.


This I agree, some "illness's" can actually be a unique strength...like in your case I'm guessing.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2014 11:45 pm 
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You're right. It wouldn't have had that part about women if it was aimed at a guy.

It would have had something about a guy being lazy or finding excuses instead and not trying to be the best they can be.

The way that part about women is delivered probably made you think I meant something else, but the principle is the same. They're not trying because they have excuses. That statement has little to do with the actual manipulation per se but more so to do with not applying yourself because of excuses or laziness.

The point is that people who have sob stories with ADD/ADHD haven't been held accountable. If they had been held accountable like I was then their pit of despair when it comes to school etc. would spurred them to their strongest coping mechanism "hyper-focusing."

Since when is sinking standard? Swimming is natural. :D

Talk to a child that can understand you. Tell them what to do to swim. Make sure they understand. Boost their spirits. Toss them in and don't let them know they'll be rescued.

(you may replace child, them, and any other pronoun variants to woman or man to see what I'm thinking).^^^^

90% or more will rise out of the water like they were born in it. The other 10% only fail because they panic, which means they didn't understand.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 1:19 am 
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In this particular case from what I know about this women is she is not a slacker. She seems similar to you, active and staying busy, but probably on a lesser level.

I'm not 'standing up for her', I'm only stating what I know about her.

I also agree, people don't pick up their own slack and are quick to blame it on an external.

Lastly, yeah I thought something else when you wrote about women in your initial post.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2014 12:47 am 
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bliss wrote:
In this particular case from what I know about this women is she is not a slacker. She seems similar to you, active and staying busy, but probably on a lesser level.

I'm not 'standing up for her', I'm only stating what I know about her.

I also agree, people don't pick up their own slack and are quick to blame it on an external.

Lastly, yeah I thought something else when you wrote about women in your initial post.


Truth be told. I've had to slow down because 14 hour days of working are wearing on me. There is no balance. My life situation has demanded a lot from me though.

All's well. I actually misunderstood you too.

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"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness." - Jean Vanier


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