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 Post subject: Dark days
PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 6:27 pm 
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I'm not sure is this post suitable here, it's about career and life so I will place it here.

My goal is to make my own business and be my own boss. I don't want fancy things, just something that will get me financial freedom and a place to live on my own. My passion is music and after I lost my last job I started my own digital record label, it is clearly that I can't make a living from that, at least not now. I also produce music and I had few releases, some new releases and remixes are coming but I don't make money of it. Living like artist will get me to starvation. It's a nice hobby and I'm always looking for new ideas to reach my goals.

The biggest dream of my father is to get me a job at the company where he is working. Today he came to me and said that I will probably get a job and I will work with him. He was so happy and excited. They are all happy and they want me to get that job, get a big loan and be a slave for banks and company. I am devastated. The job will bring security, money etc. but seeing myself going to that job and work with my father every day for the rest of my adulthood is killing me.


These last few months were very hard for me. I haven't been so depressed since my teen years. Thoughts like " I wish I was never born " are coming in my head again. I'm trying to find positive side in my music, label, street workout and books but it seems like I'm falling to the bottom. I started to meditate again today, to clear my mind. Break up with my GF still keeps me down. Then my sexual problems that I had and my fear of falling in the trap of society is also makes me depressed. I am giving my best to not destroy myself with alcohol and drugs. I am also struggling with not contacting my ex.

I probably sound like a bitch. I know that there is light somewhere and I gotta keep moving. I would like to see stuff from other angle, to hear someone's else opinion. How to deal with these things, your experiences... I'm surrounded with many people but I can't talk with them about it, that's why I post here.


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 3:25 am 
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Moltisanti wrote:
The biggest dream of my father is to get me a job at the company where he is working. Today he came to me and said that I will probably get a job and I will work with him. He was so happy and excited. They are all happy and they want me to get that job, get a big loan and be a slave for banks and company. I am devastated. The job will bring security, money etc. but seeing myself going to that job and work with my father every day for the rest of my adulthood is killing me.


This part isn't so bad though is it? For most people around the world and for most of recorded history this is how it worked. Your Daddy's the King then you get to be King, your Daddy's a farmer well guess what? You get to be a farmer too. That's how it used to be and I am sure there have been people that feel like you do going back forever. You have a hobby you like and a possible way to make it somewhere else and new opportunities are always arising. That job isn't set in stone, you can take it and the money till you are ready for the next step, unless you are ready to take that step now.

Hopefully someone more eloquent and thoughtful can come in and speak on the rest of the things you are going though, it sounds to me like you are beating yourself up.

"Choose not to be harmed, and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed, and you haven't been."
-Marcus Aurelius

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“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” — Marcus Aurelius


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 9:42 am 
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caster wrote:
Moltisanti wrote:
The biggest dream of my father is to get me a job at the company where he is working. Today he came to me and said that I will probably get a job and I will work with him. He was so happy and excited. They are all happy and they want me to get that job, get a big loan and be a slave for banks and company. I am devastated. The job will bring security, money etc. but seeing myself going to that job and work with my father every day for the rest of my adulthood is killing me.


This part isn't so bad though is it? For most people around the world and for most of recorded history this is how it worked. Your Daddy's the King then you get to be King, your Daddy's a farmer well guess what? You get to be a farmer too. That's how it used to be and I am sure there have been people that feel like you do going back forever. You have a hobby you like and a possible way to make it somewhere else and new opportunities are always arising. That job isn't set in stone, you can take it and the money till you are ready for the next step, unless you are ready to take that step now.

Hopefully someone more eloquent and thoughtful can come in and speak on the rest of the things you are going though, it sounds to me like you are beating yourself up.

"Choose not to be harmed, and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed, and you haven't been."
-Marcus Aurelius


I chose to sleep it off and now when I think about it you make sense. The job isn't set in stone, I don't have to live like my family wants but I can take the job, move out and stack money for future investments. Who knows what will come to me. I think that The Kidd wrote somewhere that it's good to find a job that you don't mind doing and do what you love on the side (correct me if I'm wrong).

About the other things, I just have to keep doing what I do, work on myself and not fall for bad things. We all have ups and downs but not giving up is the key. It's all part of the game I guess...

Thank you for your answer Caster.


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2015 10:31 am 
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Hey man,

I'm trying to make it with music too, and after studying at university to go along with a marketing job and teaching English, I've grown to develop a distaste for "the system". Feels like a rebelious, teenage-angst thing to say, but I get where you're coming from.

And I get the depression thing too, as I struggled with it, on and off, for about 4 years.

To me, it's all about putting your hours into the right place. You say you want to make a living off music - how much time a day do you actually put into it? How absorbed are you during those hours? Because anybody that's been able to live off it had to make it a part-time job with no pay for a couple of years (at the very least). You simply need to get your reps in to be able to express what you want well.

I'd say keep working the job - you have a backup plan that most people dream about. Get off work, do whatever you gotta do to to practice the music you make, and reflect every month or so to see if you're on the right track.

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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 9:31 pm 
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You can destroy depression.
You don't have to get on with it, learn to live with it or have it on and off for years (rest of your life even).

What you describe as depression is something that looks like a state, that seems to be infleuncing you in certain way.. It is in fact aftereffect of beliefs - you could say negative beliefs - that you are trying to get something by having, but they are not serving the purpose.

They key is to see what you are trying to get here. It may me multiple beliefs also.
The beliefs needs to see the truth - when they see they are not true, they dissolve. They let go of themselves. They disappear and you can't even remember how they look like and how they influenced you. Sometimes you don't even remember what the belief was.. That's how amazingly it let's go

I had depression since I can remember untill I saw through it. At one point I said to myself that I have to figure this out, that I can't go with it anymore. I sat down on my chair and figure it out.. I saw the reason and it dissolved itself. From that moment on, I didn't feel like that before solving it. It is hard to remember how it was even (thank god). It doesn't influence me anymore. Simply because it is not there..
It was something about getting approval and not wanting to do anything or something. I can't remember it.

It feels like something moving from your body sometimes, or pressures getting relaxed, I felt liek a stone was being moved out of my stomach and flying out of my body, etc. Emotional knots untying.
These beleifs can be always boiled down to simple, one sentence statements. Not buts, no maybe.. Thinks like "I'm not going to get food with this"
"I can't have a girl comparable with other guys' girls"
etc

There are many methods as how to do this. I can't speak for all people, but just trying to do you best at your career and life goals won't help these... It is an inner work, but it impacts your outside life. A lot. And it is worth it.. Oh god how it is worth it.

Some people prefer to just feel into the emotions and feel them through, some people here do some kind of their own logical looking into these things, I use this investigative trying to figure out what is there and what I'm trying to get etc, there is also Release technique, EFT..

I'd suggest joining http://www.ballsproject.com which many people here are members of - They focus on dealing with these emotional things there, how it realtes to work, sex, all kinds of things

It some of this resonates with you, good.. If it doesn't that's also good.. Maybe something else will


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 3:40 pm 
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Location: Laniakea Supercluster
Moltisanti wrote:

I probably sound like a bitch. I know that there is light somewhere and I gotta keep moving. I would like to see stuff from other angle, to hear someone's else opinion. How to deal with these things, your experiences... I'm surrounded with many people but I can't talk with them about it, that's why I post here.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHsjigrnGBo

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"When values are clear, decisions are easy." ---Dan Peña


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:51 pm 
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Taking care of emotion allows logic to do it's job. It has to be the foundation, you know what to do.

So what holds you back? Is more logic the answer?

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A truly powerful Man jealously guards his most precious resources; his independence and his ability to maneuver. True power isn’t controlling others, but the degree to which you control the course of your own life and your own choices. -Rational Male


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Mon Nov 02, 2015 11:12 am 
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It is true that only you can know the real answer for you. Read the Law of Success by Napoleon Hill, it will help you to make the right decision.


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 10:29 am 
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Moltisanti wrote:
I am devastated. The job will bring security, money etc. but seeing myself going to that job and work with my father every day for the rest of my adulthood is killing me.


There is your answer, from the heart.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2015 4:23 pm 
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Then stop thinking about it as working for him for the rest of your life. :|

Re-frame it...look at it more as a solid chance to raise capital to invest in yourself...a means to an end. :ugeek:

I wasn't thrilled about joining the military, but in retrospect it's one of the best thing I ever did. It helped me pay for my schooling and got me great terms when I purchased my home. You're young so you can't see the big picture right now...so until you can, you might as well start earning some solid dinero, yes? ;)

Good luck to you :)

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:23 pm 
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Ok, here is the update;

I had to take a long break and think about who am I and what I REALLY want in my life. No bullshit, just what I feel from deep down. I made some decisions before just because I thought that I had to follow a certain set of rules, it is hard for me to admit but it seems like those PUA articles from years behind still had some influence on me, only this time I was [u]acting [/u]a different role. Because of that I almost pushed away a good woman and great person who wants to follow me through thick and thin. So I had to clear that up first and I did what I wanted.

About the job, I'm working for two weeks now. It's not great but it's not that bad either. I'm not really attached to it, I work for money then go home and work on my business. Next year I will rent my own place and with this job many other doors are open. With this money I can do things and make investments that I couldn't do before so for now this is it. I also have a few plans for the future.

I guess that "dark" period was a part of the journey. I want to say thanks to everybody who posted on this topic, your comments were extremely helpful. I believe that most important thing after all of this is that I'm at peace with myself now.

Moltisanti


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 2:30 am 
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Moltisanti wrote:
Ok, here is the update;

I had to take a long break and think about who am I and what I REALLY want in my life. No bullshit, just what I feel from deep down. I made some decisions before just because I thought that I had to follow a certain set of rules, it is hard for me to admit but it seems like those PUA articles from years behind still had some influence on me, only this time I was [u]acting [/u]a different role. Because of that I almost pushed away a good woman and great person who wants to follow me through thick and thin. So I had to clear that up first and I did what I wanted.

About the job, I'm working for two weeks now. It's not great but it's not that bad either. I'm not really attached to it, I work for money then go home and work on my business. Next year I will rent my own place and with this job many other doors are open. With this money I can do things and make investments that I couldn't do before so for now this is it. I also have a few plans for the future.

I guess that "dark" period was a part of the journey. I want to say thanks to everybody who posted on this topic, your comments were extremely helpful. I believe that most important thing after all of this is that I'm at peace with myself now.

Moltisanti


Man, I did the same thing with a girl who "loved me" (my value in her eyes was massive) but I rejected her because she wasn't hot enough by the pua standards, how stupid I was, but hey you live and you learn.

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“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.”


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 2:52 pm 
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Great post Moltisanti. I think this part

Quote:
I believe that most important thing after all of this is that I'm at peace with myself now.


is the most valuable thing you've gotten out of it. Remember, nothing is every permanent and you inch yourself towards who you're becoming one decision at a time. The steps seem insignificant, but in the long run, consulting with yourself and being honest in your face-to-face time when such decisions need to be made will yield immeasurable progress down the line.

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Take it easy, man. But take it.


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 Post subject: Re: Dark days
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 7:17 pm 
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Dali wrote:
Moltisanti wrote:
Ok, here is the update;

I had to take a long break and think about who am I and what I REALLY want in my life. No bullshit, just what I feel from deep down. I made some decisions before just because I thought that I had to follow a certain set of rules, it is hard for me to admit but it seems like those PUA articles from years behind still had some influence on me, only this time I was [u]acting [/u]a different role. Because of that I almost pushed away a good woman and great person who wants to follow me through thick and thin. So I had to clear that up first and I did what I wanted.

About the job, I'm working for two weeks now. It's not great but it's not that bad either. I'm not really attached to it, I work for money then go home and work on my business. Next year I will rent my own place and with this job many other doors are open. With this money I can do things and make investments that I couldn't do before so for now this is it. I also have a few plans for the future.

I guess that "dark" period was a part of the journey. I want to say thanks to everybody who posted on this topic, your comments were extremely helpful. I believe that most important thing after all of this is that I'm at peace with myself now.

Moltisanti


Man, I did the same thing with a girl who "loved me" (my value in her eyes was massive) but I rejected her because she wasn't hot enough by the pua standards, how stupid I was, but hey you live and you learn.


That's why you have to be consistent congruent or moving towards that goal.


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