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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:38 am 
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Location: London, Scarfland
Why is it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before a wedding?

Because it was never previously practiced.

The truth is that nobody actually knows the origins of marriage. The practice of it pre-dates recorded history. The most popular of all theories, at least currently, is that men owned large quantities of women as property to be used to breed children and ensure that the resulting offspring was that of the owner and no one else. Men 'married' to claim ownership. This is why Mystery's theory of approach anxiety is so intriguing. There can never be any evidence for his ideas of course, but the perspective that men could not approach women in ancient times because it was not known if she is already owned and thus put his own life at risk seems plausible. If you get on a public bus or train, you'll notice that in almost 100% (yes 100%) of the time, when the bus or train starts to get full, the last seat ever taken is the one next to the attractive woman. Most theories would point to fear of rejection, but how can fear of rejection be so strong that men (women for entirely different reasons) avoid sitting next to a pretty girl when all they want is a seat? Social conditioning is strong, but it can't be that strong, could it? After all, we are exposed to beautiful women every day through the media and we don't seem to shy away from the television. Far from it in fact. Could it not be that there is something deeper than fear of rejection? Could fear of death or injury be a more underlying reason?

Since women were owned as property, they could be handed out as rewards. This would often take the form of a man performing a favour for another man directly in return for a woman that belonged to his tribe or kingdom. Sometimes, if the favour was unexpected, then a woman would be offered in gratitude. As time went on, an arranged marriage was the only form of marriage available to people, often with fathers choosing the groom for their daughters. Freedom of choice was given to men but this depended on their socio-economic status. Marriages were arranged as far as possible so that women could marry into money and class. This would ensure upward mobility of social status for the whole family and it would also allow for the family to boast about its riches and its higher status. Women were taught to marry into money because love, passion and romance were not useful traits for their owners as it would not benefit them practically. This is still maintained in some cultures via the father and is commonly referred to as 'giving'. The woman’s father would ‘give’ her over to her new owner, whilst women performed the simple role of being 'taken'. Women's choices were seen as secondary and their opinions were only considered on things that did not matter to men: How the house is decorated, what type of flowers to put on the table, whether to have a pet, how to raise the child etc. After marriage, once men had acquired their exclusive rights, they would go to work, thinking all that mattered in life had been accomplished. The root of this assumption was made solely on the basis of the marriage contract, not on the romance or passion of the relationship. Women missed the excitement, romance and passion in their marriage and since they were not getting this anywhere, having been restricted as much as possible, they sought to create it. The thrill of seduction was the easiest and most logical of pursuits. Something that was made even more exciting by the fact that it was being done without the knowledge of her husband. History is littered with married women engaging in extra marital affairs resulting in back street abortions. This was a process where women would terminate the pregnancy of unwanted children by having a sharp object inserted into them by a complete stranger, often resulting in death as the procedure was so unsafe. The other option was to raise the child as her own and pass it off as her husband’s. As often as it was practiced, this route proved problematic for those who were not yet married. In spite of this risk, women soon became masters of seduction, cleverly enticing men when required whilst the entire affair remained a secret. Throughout the years, women attained the intelligence of the non-verbal language and spoke it amongst themselves so as to never reveal their secrets in front of men.

Women, stifled in their personal lives needed a way out and in the late 1960’s the oral contraceptive pill was made available for use to women. This was a pill when taken on a daily basis maintained a certain chemical imbalance, ensuring that insemination was not possible. A landmark achievement for women as pregnancy had always traditionally been seen as a woman’s responsibility and now they were able to control it. Sex outside of marriage could now occur with less risk. The birth control pill allowed women to maintain their affairs, pre and post marriage, without risk. This spurred the women’s rights movement as it continued to attain further freedom. Women started finding themselves in a position where getting married was no longer the only destination of life. They could vote, they could have a career, they could choose their long-term partners for the sake of choice. For love. The idea of women being able to choose their partners was a new concept as in the past, women were not allowed this choice. The women’s rights movement slowly and painfully attempted to make their way towards its goal of equality. However, somewhere down the road, Feminism became confused as to what it wanted. It knew it wanted equality, but it had seen the value of the way women had been treated in the past. For all the oppression women faced, they still benefitted greatly from having everything done for them. Women did not have to work as men were considered to be the primary providers. Women did not did not have to put up with the stresses and the strains of politics as men ran it. Women did not have to make any effort in perusing men as it was a man’s job to make the first move and win her over. Women did not have to pay for dates, drinks or household expenses as women did not have a job to speak of. Everything was provided for them - it was only logical to do so. Feminism, aware of these benefits, wanted equality for women whilst still maintaining all the benefits in all the areas where women were treated well. The aim was to give women as much advantage as possible in the playing field of life. It was on the back of this that the world was able to allow for the evolution of society, whilst maintaining the archaic traditions that take place today, up to and including (and especially!) marriage.

Despite women’s increased freedom, Feminism and the popularity of religion ensured that women were still, consciously or unconsciously, considered to be property owned by men. Today, women are 'given away' by their fathers to be 'taken' by their prospective husbands on their wedding days. Moreover, if a man wants to marry a particular woman, it is still customary practice to ask her father's permission before doing so. In effect, he must ask for permission before even asking the woman herself. It should be noted here that it is the father - and only the father - who's permission is required. Not the mother. Women are still taught to preserve themselves sexually, or risk being labelled by society as a ‘slut’. Since they are still considered to be property, nobody wants property that has already been used. Once a woman is known for sleeping with what is considered to be a significant amount of men, or (in some cases) any amount of men, the she becomes ‘used goods’. No longer newly packaged, but a car that has acquired millage, a DVD with a broken cover, a toothbrush that has entered someone else’s mouth, a razor which has been grazed against another’s body. If a woman has been ‘had’ too many times, she is already been ‘taken’ therefore she cannot be ‘given’ as new on her wedding day. Since its/her worth is lost, it is no longer wanted by men who are ‘decent’. Feminism had shot itself in the foot. It had given women legal rights to exercise sexual freedom whilst restricting those very rights socially. Women had to choose between humiliation and decency. Instead of being free, women were either right or wrong. They were still being criticised for any and all choices made in their love lives and criticised further for all choices made in their sex lives. This is the very reason why these details are kept a close secret and hardly ever revealed truthfully. Since their freedom had been discouraged by morals, women once again resorted to manipulation and secrecy to maintain their status as respectable individuals. They are more advanced at it now more than ever and as they have been taught to sell themselves for as much as possible – by men no less – they have continued this tradition. Money and status is an easy objective for women to sell themselves for. After all, they had been doing it for years. In order to sell something for its greatest worth, it must be advertised in the best way possible and the women’s fashion industry does its best to keep up with the strong expanding desires of women who try to look as different and as unique as possible to stand out from other women. Not to mention sexy and desirable. All for the purposes of being chosen for marriage by the ‘right’ man.

The wedding day is dedicated to the woman. It is often considered the most important day her life as it is the day when her ownership exchanges hands from her father to her husband. She is always last to enter the room with guests awaiting her arrival. She is the most glamorous thing in the room, ensuring that the bridesmaids cannot compare to her beauty. The entire event is traditionally paid for by the bride’s father (since he owns her, it is obviously his duty to arrange the dispatch of his responsibility). The ordeal is a one day event. An entire year’s worth of planning goes into it – just to make sure that everyone knows that the bride is married. The groom is just cake decoration even though he has to have a stable job to support her. This is his qualification material. He also has to provide her with a ring in order to marry her. The hidden purpose of this is two-fold: Firstly to state that he will (and can) provide for her as it is his duty to do so. Secondly to tag her as his property and deter interest from other parties. The groom attends the wedding where he works as the side-show to the bride before getting the customary if-you-do-anything-to-hurt-her- then-I-will-introduce-a-baseball-bat-to-your-face speech from the groom’s father, brother and anyone else who thinks he owns her. He then has the permanent duty to make her happy for the rest of his life, provide for the children and engage with her family - all this in return for sexual stability (and, of course, ownership rights). Astonishingly, for the large quantities of men, such life of easy submission is acceptable for them. They do not think that they can do any better and this is no more prevalent than in the arranged marriages that still go on today.


The most notorious arranged marriages of today are generally found in most Muslim and some Sikh traditions. In these arranged marriages it is a requirement that the daughter's father be present and give consent to the marriage on the day of the wedding before the couple can be married. In the absence of the father, a male representative from the daughter's family must be present give to consent in the father's place. Once the woman is married, she is considered to be owned by the man who has married her. This is never openly stated but very clearly implied and is so common that people do not realise it. This is reflected in one way by the fact that the wife is not allowed to even say her husband’s name at any point, ever, for the rest of her life. The practice is not religious of course, but cultural – it has been passed off as religious by men, who also happened to be the only ones ‘qualified’ to give religious advice. It just so happens that I was invited to one such wedding last week. The bride was a British born Southern Asian. Her best asset is the part of her body which she sells via the rest of her body. The groom was a Southern-Asian born Southern-Asian. His best quality is that he spoke English fluently. The couple had met once before agreeing to marry. The day before the wedding, there was a celebration of the bride by herself where she is glorified in henna and jewellery. At the end of the festivities, some of the male members started dancing in front of the bride. This is very interesting as this was never practiced ten years ago and had anybody done it, the people involved would have been ridiculed, looked down upon and considered ‘unholy’. However, somewhere down the line, dancing became an acceptable practice in the culture at this event. Society it seems, bends and breaks its rules whenever it likes.

The wedding occurred on the following day. This event was by far the most revealing of all the practices. The hall was beautifully designed. Dinner plates were placed across a sea of tables, with a centerpiece at the front of the stage. On it was a large couch shaped in the form of a throne. It was empty but would be occupied by the couple to be. The bride had already arrived, but she was not on the throne. She was in a separate room, seated, looking pretty. The groom arrived mid-afternoon, but despite being the guest of honour, he is not granted automatic access. The family of the bride pile up inside the exit of front of the door, not allowing him access unless he pays up. This is yet another tradition in the wedding and has been carrying on for generations. It is known as ‘gate-holding’. The bride’s family ‘hold the gate’ denying entrance to the venue, while the two families barter for the sale of the bride. Although this is seen as just good fun, there is a genuine exchange of money. The wedding I attended ‘held the gate’ with a piece of red tape across the door. It had stuck on it a notice which read the words ‘£999.99. NO MONEY, NO HONEY’. One other suggestion which was made but did not make the notice were the words ‘NO FEE, NO WIFEY’. As the groom approached the ‘gate’ the two families began their haggling. To ensure their good fun, they started the bidding at £10,000 – higher than the value written across the notice. The groom’s family bit back stating that the notice was ‘cheap’ and wasn’t worth ten pence. The haggling continued. A ten year old boy joined in on the fun, telling the groom’s family that if they didn’t pay up, they won’t get a wife.

The young boy understood that if the guy wants the girl, he needed to pay for her.

Finally, after tiring, both sides drew to a close. The scissors were handed over and the groom was allowed to cut the tape. The groom’s family eventually handed over £100 in cash. The groom came in with a slight smile on his. Of course, his marriage ensures his permanent residency in the UK, but that’s not really what he’s smiling about. He seems to think he has fulfilled himself as a man. This is his final step in proving to his family that ‘he’s made it’, knowing that he has fulfilled his parents wishes. He makes his way to the throne for the beginning of the proceedings. Bride-less, the priest begins the wedding ceremony. Within minutes, the groom is married. The wedding band is placed on his finger by the priest himself. The bride too is married separately, upstairs. The priest places the ring on the groom’s finger and holds his hand up to the camera to signify to any remaining doubters that he has, in fact, been married. The entire procedure is un-witnessed and unbeknownst to the bride. The main part of the wedding is then played out; eating a three-course lunch with a starter, a main course and a minor desert. This is what the people turn up for and start leaving once it is over. The bride still has not joined the groom who has sat in his throne for a good couple of hours after dining with his closest friends and family. The waiters are clearing away the tables and there is still no sign of the bride. Only close and reasonably close friends and family stay behind for the final event. As I sat patiently at my table, families, largely women started to approach my table. At first I hadn’t noticed, but more and more started to appear. By now, a large compendium of women had gathered by my table. Standing. I looked, two, three, four, five times to see what they had gathered for. I saw nothing. All the women were standing there, facing me, looking at each other when I looked towards them. Usually, this would be another day in Scarfland, however at these types of events, it is normal for women to stay as far away from the men as possible. However, they appeared to have found a loophole by gathering around me in large numbers. I looked for a sixth time. Surely there had to be some event or person other than me that was attracting all these women to my table. Again, I saw them, facing my table surrounding me. I couldn’t help but smile.

Finally the bride makes her appearance. She takes her place on the throne next to her future owner. As they take pictures with the family, I cannot not help but feel an underlying nastiness in the entire event. It is as if society has played a joke on all of humankind and everyone has either brought it or sold it. A mass consciousness designed to put you to sleep, ensuring that both men and women die as unfulfilled as they have lived.

Oh, but we are not done yet.

The bride and groom stand up for the ceremonial ‘putting-a-flower-necklace-around-each-other’s-neck’ procedure. The bride’s turn is first. She attempts to put the necklace on the groom, whereby, jokingly, he backs away, not allowing her the satisfaction of ‘getting’ him so easy. Astounding! After marrying the girl he has met once, it is now that he plays hard to get. Of course, this is customary. It is customary for the groom to refuse the flower necklace from the bride, two sometimes three times and of course nobody knows where the tradition came from. This last insult to humanity is followed by the most revelatory element of the whole brightly coloured toxic ordeal. As the bride and groom stand up to leave, they walk down the aisle taking baby steps to reach the door, I take a look at the bride. She looks at the exit. Finally it dawns on her. Her face crumples up having now realised that she has sold her body, not for love, not for money, but to please her parents. She will never have love, just passionless sex. She will never have money, just whatever he will earn in his career. She will never have a career, she will raise a family instead. She will never express herself freely, just do whatever is universally expected of her. She will never have a life, just a marriage. Her face is a carnage of horror as this realisation comes across her. Too late. Like most women, she only realises the consequences of her actions after she has taken them, if at all. Her sister, walking beside her, who went through the whole ordeal five years ago herself, accompanies her, smiling.

Now that the wedding is over, nobody could care less about the bride or groom or the wedding. The focus is now on who is ‘next’ to be cherry picked from their lives and thrown to the lions to be devoured. All society ever seems to do is marry and breed. We are apparently no good for anything else – and anything else we might be good at is geared towards one thing and that is to find the biggest prize of all: A wife. Your life experience not matter how successful is supposed to lead one way. Questioning this would lead you to become an outcast by being seen as weird, gay or impotent by the wider society. Any measure will be used against you to ensure that you follow the system. Escape from the system is made by a few, but increasing, number of people. Somewhere in the consciousness of man, people can feel that a joke is upon them when they brush against the thick but flimsy curtain of societies ideals. Most people touch it, feel its softness and are seduced by the promise of its comfort. Others tear through it out of a strong desire for the truth. The scent was wonderful where I stood. As people piled out of the exit, women looked at me with envy, at my freedom and ease of life and also, just to look at me. To take one last glance at what true happiness looks like. A piece of meat they wished to ravenously devour but can’t because they have to go home to their fake husbands and live their lives in mediocrity.

With the tedious but educational event having come to a close, I jump on a coach for my city to city trip back to London. I take up two seats on next to the window and sit cross legged taking up as much room as I can. I am dressed in black and white, with a beautiful blood red scarf draped across my neck. I am, by far, the most immaculate looking thing aboard the vehicle. Behind me, beside me and in front of me, people are shuffling into seats and even requesting others to move. And do you know what? Not a single person dared to sit next to me.

With an increase in divorce rates, a higher percentage of people marrying later, a higher percentage of people having children later, the statistics are only looking one way. The rules regarding divorce today have changed dramatically. Separation for as little as a year can be cited as the sole grounds for divorce in many countries. Lawyers are better equipped and better versed than ever to ensure that the process of divorce can be handled as quickly and as painlessly as possible. Society can ignore the facts for as long as it can, but sooner or later the numbers cannot be ignored and people will wonder if marriage is worth all the trouble in the first place.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:10 pm 
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Really enjoyed reading that Scarf, thank you for posting.

Enjoyed your description of the wedding, it echoes my experiences.

I would say it was not just the women looking at you, also the men, with deep deep envy. They have been sold a lie and they bought it hook line and sinker.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:35 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
Really enjoyed reading that Scarf, thank you for posting.
Thank you, Peregrinus. I was pretty sure I had my facts straight, so that's excellent confirmation.
Quote:
Enjoyed your description of the wedding, it echoes my experiences.
What was really interesting was that there just just was an underlying element of nastiness. There was just something vulgar about the whole event - it wasn't innocent. In fact, it was the least innocent of all weddings. People were just being there with almost no focus at all on the couple. Usually there is some element of glancing or caring. This time it was just a looking. A checking. Just to make sure everything went down OK. It was more like a well executed event than a wedding. It was like a joke that everyone was in on, including me.
Quote:
I would say it was not just the women looking at you, also the men, with deep deep envy. They have been sold a lie and they bought it hook line and sinker.
I am interested to hear your views on this. What I find is that the men seem rather content being in completely loveless marriages, largely maintained by the women (very similar to the Mr & Mrs Smith film) and gaining their minor satisfaction from their sex lives, presumably initiated by the men.

My question is, would they have the intellectual capacity to understand Freedom from the perspective of their prison-locked mind?

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:52 pm 
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I just want to thank you for posting this, Scarf. It was a long read but very insightful. I read it once now. But I will read it again later.


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:40 pm 
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Ah Gonzo, you're very welcome.

I would also like to thank the moderators on this forum - that article would probably be banned if it was posted anywhere else.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:13 am 
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This is really good. Read it through slowly. Thanks for sharing Scarf :D

After I thought about it this is the most important thing I took away.

There is a difference between saying your not going play along with societies games and being passive-agressive about situations.
And actively going after what you want and not getting hung up in unneeded drama.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 11:09 pm 
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You are most welcome Morpheus. And you are right. There are MANY hidden messages in the posts above. I was hoping more than two people were getting it. Nice to know that you are as well.

----------

Between the mid to late nineties, a commercial was released to the television viewing public where children appeared to take turns to say the same line, over and over. The line was as follows:

“I am Tiger Woods”


This baffled many viewers and raised many questions such as “Who is Tiger Woods?’ and ”If he is a real person, is that his actual name?”

Turned out that he was a golfer of some kind. In fact, he was so talented, that he became famous for his golfing skills alone (and advertising) as the world went into the 21st century. Woods would go on to break several golfing records but not before he got engaged to Elin Nordegen, a former model and daughter of a radio journalist. She was pretty and blonde.

[ img ]



This capture allowed Woods to be given the title the ‘world’s most marketable athlete’. As with many athletes in top form having found a girl he liked, his success skyrocketed. He won everything. The Masters, The US Open, The British Open, The USPGA - all the trophies a boy could dream of and a $54 million dollar home to put it in.

[ img ]


What more could he want?

Well….

Woods married Nordegen in late 2004 and Nordegen gave birth to a baby girl three years later. In 2009, Nordegen gave birth to a son completing the perfect picture to their happy marriage. In the same year, it was alleged that Woods had engaged in an affair with an American Nightclub manager named Rachel Uchitel.


[ img ]

This claim was denied by the lady herself which is always more than enough when it comes to tabloid news reports about celebrities. The story was easily quashed and Woods would continue with his ever happy life….for less than two more days.

On November 27 2009 at 2:25am, Woods – apparently, still awake - pulled out of his driveway in a Cadillac SUV and struck a fire hydrant, then a tree. Nordegren was inside the house when she heard the accident. She went outside and used one of his golf clubs to break out the rear window of the vehicle, then pulled him from the SUV. The entire incident, once reported, raised questions; four in particular:

1. What was he doing driving out of his house at 2:25am?
2. Was he trying to get away from his wife, because he was arguing with her?
3. How did his wife pull him out of an SUV from the rear window?
4. Will this affect his game?

Interest grew and a woman officially came forward. Her name was Jaimee Grubbs, a cocktail waitress from California who claimed that she had a two-and-a-half-year affair with Woods, producing voice and text messages.

Woods must have missed the David Beckham story.

One message stated: "Hey it's Tiger, I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone...You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye." Once reported, Woods immediately released an apology expressing regret for "transgressions" and saying "I have let my family down”, though he was not clear what exactly it was that he was apologizing for.

Having one woman come forward in a situation like this was serious enough for Woods, but within a short time period, twelve women had come forward with various claims, none of which were ever denied by Woods. By the end of the year, he released yet another apology and announced that he’d be taking a temporary break from his golfing activities before obtaining an injunction preventing the publication in the UK of any images of Woods naked or having sexual intercourse, whilst at the same time denying that Woods was aware of the existence of any such images. Woods’ reputation was in rapid deterioration. Within days, Gillette, Accenture, Electronic Arts, TAG Heuer, General Motors and AT&T all dropped Woods from their sponsorship roster. Even Golf Digest suspended Woods from writing for their magazine. Woods’ career and personal life was in free-fall as it became more and more obvious that he was holding a major secret from his family and the public, despite the already passed revelations. As it turned out, he had slept with over 120 women including the neighbour’s 21 year-old daughter.

[ img ]

Woods’ television commercials were cancelled. No longer were people coming forward saying they were Tiger Woods. People were just coming forward saying they had fucked him. On 19 February 2010, Tiger Woods delivered the most astonishing and unorthodox press conference ever witnessed in recent golfing memory. Woods stood in front of the world from the PGA Tour headquarters in Florida and told the public that he had cheated on his wife and that he was ‘sorry’.

Here is the full clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA7ty2LQwc0

Watch his body language, fluctuating voice tone and especially his apparent beliefs in life. Also, note his use of the word ‘behaviour’.

If you read the comments, you’ll find that most of the comments do not buy his apology. He stated that during the times he was having the affairs, he thought that ‘normal rules did not apply’ before acknowledging that the ‘same boundaries that apply to everyone’ applied to him. He was of course, referring to the rules of society. The ones we all live by.

After issuing the apology, Woods lost his wife and has not won a major golf tournament since. Woods and Nordegen divorced on 23 August 2010 in a settlement that went over $100m. Woods’ career earnings since the divorce in the first year dropped by 90%. In the second year, it dropped by 50%. In 2011, his money link rank went from 1st, to 128th.

And the moral of the story…

You will notice a steady decline for Woods from the moment he issued his first apology. Apologies, although usually well meaning, simply focus that which the person is perceive to have done wrong. It doesn’t focus positively on anything and is not capable of a forward reaching viewpoint. Most importantly, it draws attention to itself. People do not remember you for the apology, people remember you for what you did. The soul dos not apologise for discovering life. It certainly does not apologise for the pleasure that you feed it. It never will. Although no apology can ever be sincere, no apology can even come close to sincerity for doing something that you enjoyed doing. People will not buy it for obvious reasons. If Tiger Woods was half the man he should be, then he would have got up on that podium and said that he slept with 120 women and that he enjoyed every drop, every thrust, every thrill and every woman that entered his bed…



…and that he looks forward to 120 more.


Live. Be Free. The rules do not apply to you.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 11:44 pm 
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Scarf, that's a very intresting post. Thank you

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Sometimes it's a little better to travel than to arrive” \ Robert M. Pirsig


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 11:04 pm 
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You're welcome Sniper. :-)


------


Triple H has been in the wrestling business since the early nineties and when he entered the scene in the WWE, back then known as the ever great WWF, he was known as Hunter Hearst Helmsley. A character who portrayed himself as a blueblooded snob. At no point at the start of his career did anybody in the wrestling industry thought that Triple H would ever go anywhere or achieve anything in his wrestling career. They were all proved wrong. Little did they know that Triple H would excel his career to unimaginable heights by doing the one thing no one else had ever done. He married the boss's daughter, Stephanie McMahon, against her consent (on screen of course).


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuRFD6ANt8Y

The story would continue that girl's father would fight Triple H for his daughter's pride only to be betrayed by her and of course, falling in love with Triple H.

Interestingly, the two started actually dating after the on screen marriage and Triple H, already once a World Champion wasn't sure how to tell the his his boss that he was "making out with his daughter". Luckily for him, Stephanie's father, Vince McMahon, already knew and approached not just Triple H but also Stephanie about their relationship. Interestingly, Vince felt that the relationship could put the business into a precarious position so he told them to stop seeing each other. Neither party could stop, so the relationship continued.

On 25 October 2003, life imitated art as Triple H married Stephanie McMahon for real.

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Still to this day, the relationship is hot topic. As the WWE is a family run business, it was inevitable that both individuals would have eventual directional and creative control. Triple H is the WWE Executive Vice President of Talent meaning that he has complete control over his television character's storylines, win/loss record, and championship reigns. His wife Stephanie is the Creative Vice President of the WWE and will eventually become president and Chairman of he Board once the time comes. Both individuals work together closely and have successfully maintained their nine year marriage.

Naturally the moral of the story would be that the key to a long and successful marriage is with two people who share similar goals and interests, however, that is not the biggest lesson that can be learned from the marriage. The real interesting point is that the relationship had started after the two had pretended to be married.

It is also not the only example of its kind.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 8:55 pm 
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Circa 2007.
----

Why I Left My Beta Husband
By Amy Brayfield

A few years ago, my husband, Mark, and I were at one of those hip downtown restaurants sipping mojitos and nibbling on lime-spiked seviche when one of my bosses appeared from a cloud of Cuban-cigar smoke and patted my shoulder. When I introduced him to Mark, he naturally asked what he did for a living. We both froze.

I do some freelancing," Mark said.

"He studied film at NYU," I said at the same time.

Mark looked at me and shrugged. "I stay home with our daughter," he said, as my colleague quietly balked.

"He makes it possible for me to do my job," I said, laughing. But inside, I was mortified. Technically, I had it all back then, including a gorgeous toddler and a cool job.

What I didn't have was a husband I felt proud of.

God knows I wanted to be proud of him. Mark is smart and funny and the only person I know who gets off on explaining why the Sherlock Holmes tales are more colonialist than patriarchal. And if you asked me about somebody else's stay-at-home husband, I'd be all over the subject, spouting statistics about how important the father-daughter bond is to girls' self-esteem and how limiting it is to expect women to mind the home front. But living it was completely different.

Maybe it's because the plan wasn't for Mark to be a stay-at-home dad. I went to work when he started graduate school, thinking that I'd head back for my own Ph.D. once he was done. I envisioned us as hard-core academics, reading passages from Joyce to each other while I put together a fancy dinner of organic rutabaga soup with apple crème fraîche swirls on top. Instead, I fell in love with my first job at a small food magazine, and eventually, after a few promotions, I found myself working as a staff writer for a national women's magazine.

Things went less smoothly for Mark. By the time we found out I was pregnant—three years into our marriage—he'd been looking for a job teaching film for six months with no luck. Then he began applying for any old job, but nothing panned out. Still, the minute my pregnancy test flashed its double pink lines at me, I knew I needed to put my career on hold.

I stayed home with our daughter for six months after she was born while Mark continued, yes, looking for a job. In 18 months, he got just two calls. Meanwhile, I was being pursued by headhunters. Eventually, I took an editing job at a health magazine.

I felt like myself again—pitching ideas, doing the witty-banter thing in the halls with my colleagues. But my marriage started to fall apart. I felt guilty about being glad to go back to work, and in my head, I made it Mark's fault. Because he couldn't find a job, I blamed him when I was working late and had to miss the baby's bedtime; it was his fault I had to go in early every day, since the fact that he couldn't find a job meant that I couldn't afford to lose mine.

And when I got home, I seethed. I couldn't walk across the living room without tripping over some plastic toy or container of wipes. The baby was in the same little nightgown she'd slept in the night before. There wasn't a hint of dinner on the horizon. He was home all day—couldn't he at least run a freaking load of laundry?

Eventually, communication between Mark and me deteriorated to the point where all we talked about was the baby. Had she gotten enough sleep? What had she eaten for lunch? How could she have run through an entire value pack of diapers in one weekend? "Wait till I tell you what she did," he'd say every once in a while, as we gazed adoringly at the baby and at each other. In those moments—watching him gently rock her to sleep while singing "Punk Rock Girl"—I was reminded why I had once thought Mark was the sexiest man in the world.

But our sex life was in ruins. I chalked it up to the transition period all new parents go through. Then one day, I realized it had been almost a year since Mark and I had made love.

Sometimes he'd say, "I really think things would be better for us if we could just be intimate again." Or he'd put the baby to bed early and come into the living room with two glasses of wine and a book of poetry—our classic recipe for seduction—but just the thought of him touching me made me recoil. "Maybe I'm just not a sexual person anymore," I told him, and I honestly meant it.

The truth is, I wasn't attracted to him anymore. It wasn't that he'd changed—he still had the same floppy brown hair, bright green eyes, and long freckled limbs that had literally made me quiver when I first met him. But in my head, I'd neutralized him as a sexual being. I wanted to be overwhelmed by the sheer power of his masculinity in the bedroom, but I wasn't. Because I felt like the man in our relationship.

We went to see a therapist. "Don't you think I resent you for how easy it is for you?" Mark asked me during one session. "You have this great job, and I'm home like a slave, running errands, taking care of your @!$%#, and you can't even spare me five minutes of conversation at the end of the day."

I think it was the first time I'd actually listened to what he had to say in years. He said that he was angry with me for always putting work first and angry with himself for not being able to find a job. He said he didn't appreciate being treated like a nanny-slash-housekeeper-slash-gardener. But what alternatives was he offering?

We separated a few months later.

In retrospect, I realized I had this preconceived idea of what a sexy, attractive man should be like. I imagined being married to, well, someone like me. Someone whose job sounds interesting to other people. Someone who walks out the door with a pressed shirt on, a leather briefcase, and a confident gait. Someone who wins bread. Does that make me a sexist? "I always felt embarrassed and guilty—you had all these ambitions for me that I felt like I wasn't living up to," Mark said to me after our divorce.

So nobody was more surprised than I was when I went ahead and fell for another stay-at-home dad.

Here's the difference, though: Jason knows what he wants—and it's not a corner office. He wants to have his afternoons free to hit the park with my daughter or paint or translate the writings of Pablo Neruda. There's nothing thwarted or self-pitying about him. When we're cooking dinner together on Friday nights in a kitchen fragrant with curry, or trying to drink coffee in bed on Sunday mornings while my daughter dances around us, I'm so attracted to him that it's all I can do not to rip his clothes off then and there.

Put it this way: Whether it's me or the fort he's holding, I think it's damn sexy.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:40 pm 
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It ain't where you're from it's where you're at. 8-)

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 4:21 pm 
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Scarf wrote:
The truth is, I wasn't attracted to him anymore. It wasn't that he'd changed—he still had the same floppy brown hair, bright green eyes, and long freckled limbs that had literally made me quiver when I first met him. But in my head, I'd neutralized him as a sexual being. I wanted to be overwhelmed by the sheer power of his masculinity in the bedroom, but I wasn't. Because I felt like the man in our relationship.
That's a great post. My question is - is this situation reversable? or Mark is doomed forever with this chick? does space & time may reverse it>?

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Laying on the floor in a pool of blood and cum
My demons lay beside as I kiss them one by one
Then on that day I met a force that nothing will compare
I was born the son of evil when I fuck the devil there!


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 5:14 pm 
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rekieter wrote:
Scarf wrote:
The truth is, I wasn't attracted to him anymore. It wasn't that he'd changed—he still had the same floppy brown hair, bright green eyes, and long freckled limbs that had literally made me quiver when I first met him. But in my head, I'd neutralized him as a sexual being. I wanted to be overwhelmed by the sheer power of his masculinity in the bedroom, but I wasn't. Because I felt like the man in our relationship.
That's a great post. My question is - is this situation reversable? or Mark is doomed forever with this chick? does space & time may reverse it>?
Still about your ex, right :geek: :lol:

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No matter HOW smart you think you ARE, there will ALWAYS be somebody who is smarter than you. So never underestimate people.


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 5:27 pm 
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Nah not really, got new target on my mind - this time a milf:P practice practice practice:). But I use this situation to print these things in my mind. I'm that kind of the person that would stick his hand into a shredder just because I won't believe it until i get my arm cut off. So I want to get as much info from this situation as I can.

I am trying to understand how does the enemy thinks, acts and reacts :ugeek:

_________________
Laying on the floor in a pool of blood and cum
My demons lay beside as I kiss them one by one
Then on that day I met a force that nothing will compare
I was born the son of evil when I fuck the devil there!


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:14 pm 
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rekieter wrote:
Scarf wrote:
The truth is, I wasn't attracted to him anymore. It wasn't that he'd changed—he still had the same floppy brown hair, bright green eyes, and long freckled limbs that had literally made me quiver when I first met him. But in my head, I'd neutralized him as a sexual being. I wanted to be overwhelmed by the sheer power of his masculinity in the bedroom, but I wasn't. Because I felt like the man in our relationship.
That's a great post. My question is - is this situation reversable? or Mark is doomed forever with this chick? does space & time may reverse it>?
I'll take a stab at it then.

She already answered your question :
Quote:
Here's the difference, though: Jason knows what he wants—and it's not a corner office. He wants to have his afternoons free to hit the park with my daughter or paint or translate the writings of Pablo Neruda. There's nothing thwarted or self-pitying about him. When we're cooking dinner together on Friday nights in a kitchen fragrant with curry, or trying to drink coffee in bed on Sunday mornings while my daughter dances around us, I'm so attracted to him that it's all I can do not to rip his clothes off then and there.
The first one was a mess, he couldn't handle finding a job, doing what he wanted, and resented his wife for having what she had :cry: .

It could have been reversed ONLY if :
- he decided to take his balls and REALLY take his life in his hands.
- she didn't encounter the new one (as SHE sees him as a better version).

That's just my two cents.

_________________
By searching first and posting questions only if you find no answers, everyone will be much happier
No matter HOW smart you think you ARE, there will ALWAYS be somebody who is smarter than you. So never underestimate people.


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:13 pm 
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rekieter wrote:
That's a great post. My question is - is this situation reversable? or Mark is doomed forever with this chick? does space & time may reverse it>?
Interesting that you mention space and time.

When she thinks back to him, she can only remember him at the time that he was then, which to her, is now.

If he creates a new now, he can change her perception of him. In many cases, she would have to be exposed to him in some way for anything to change.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:15 pm 
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Scarf,

Perhaps I missed it, but I presume you were born into an arranged marriage culture. May I ask if you were ever pressured into taking this path?


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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:54 am 
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It can't happen.


It only ever happens if I think about it, or beat the drum against it.

Otherwise, it just can't happen. It can't, because I am visibly happier than every one of my counter parts.

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:20 am 
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I love perspective:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2VsUCYw_JU

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 Post subject: Re: Marriage
PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:50 am 
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Scarf wrote:
Spot on.

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