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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 11:25 am 
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Hi,
I was sitting here watching youtube and I clicked to this video by Sandman called "the illusion of loneliness".
Anyway while i was reading few comments the comment from "K0ntakt5" talks about indifference in a place like a bar, here is one of the quotes.

Quote:
<<Both men and women are attracted to indifference- if you have noticed this effect yet, here it is simply. The girls you like tend not to like you, and the girls who like you tend to be a little off your radar. Or to put it another way, you want what you don't have. This affects males and females. When I made the conscious decision to stop dating women, something profound happened. After I stopped looking at them, walk on past without hesitation, gave off no body language, no signals of attraction, suddenly girls everywhere were trying to get my attention. These were girls I never got attention from. At the same time, I was getting attention from men, this is where it gets weird: straight men either started to want to come up and introduce themselves to me, or they started wanting to fight me, because this indifference was a threat to their dominance and masculinity, i.e., I should be acknowledging the presence of the superior alpha male and showing the appropriate deference. By not doing this, I'm breaking the hierarchy, and it's like an open challenge, plus they see the women and the other beta males gathering around. Finally, the gay men also saw this and also became attracted and would orbit like the others did. People of both genders are intrinsically self centered narcissists, it just is a matter to what degree. When you ignore people, they take it personally, of course, because everyone wants to feel special and no one wants to be ignored. A word of caution: I'm told I'm good looking, but I am naturally skinny and I don't have a body builder physique certainly. Different results might be had if I looked like a homeless vagrant, then people don't care if I ignore them. But if you're reasonably attractive and reasonably put together, you WILL draw attention to yourself by ignoring. And it can be a bit dangerous, be careful if you're going to do it- I've got guys who know are aware of who I am, I have no idea who they are who want to fight me, they go out of their way when they see me at bars I go to with their machismo laid out. The only thing I do is ignore this, too, and so far I haven't got into too much trouble, but there's a first time. Suffice it to say, we are a predatory species, the act of wanting attention from another human is in a sense predatory. People size everyone else up in terms: is this person someone who can give me what I want or avoid or fight. That's pretty much what it boils down to.>>
Quote:
<<What happens when you display indifference to attractive women who are used to attention from men virtually 365 days a year- you know, turning heads, men staring, men offering to open doors, men orbiting, men making themselves available- it scrambles their brains, they don't come across this behavior often. It's like: here is this guy who comes off much more cool than most other guys, he must be a hotshot (he doesn't look "hungry"). Jerk. How dare he not pay attention. I must know more. On the other hand, that affects men too. I didn't realize to the extent that men try to insinuate themselves in each other's space and try to dominate one another, and when you act like you don't even notice it, one or two things happen- to a lot of guys that's intimidating, because you don't appear to be rattled at all. But to some guys who have something to prove, they'll resent your for your indifference, because it's like a challenge to them when you are minding your own business and not twitching or jerking or paying attention when they are trying to assert themselves, they think you think you're better than them. That's how the women perceive it, too, so that appeals to their hypergamy instinct. You can try it for yourself as an experiment. Go out to a bar and be neutral, don't mirror anyone else's body language, don't look at anyone else, appear detached and cool, and just in your own business; move slow, make your movements slower than everyone else's, appear to be the calmest most indifferent person in the room. I promise you the entire room will start to gather around you or start basically look at you and talk about you.>>


Bye for now,
PimpDee.

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If you're a woman that has trouble with men, or a man that has trouble with women, it's not the men or the women that are the problem, it's you. - Jordan Peterson


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 10:11 am 
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That's using indifference as a techique, not for being content with yourself. Its like trying to use space, for woman to come to you. If you havent done inner work, well... Even if you manage to atract a very gorgeous woman as I did sporadically you'll end up needy, because you used it as a "bait" not as a mindset that you have in your life, like allways. So just beware of this pitfall.
But if it is like an experiment so be it.

There is a strange phenomena I've experienced though... When you start to *truly* being indifferent, you start to become indifferent to your own indifference. Some sort of midfuck

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“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.”


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 4:50 pm 
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He knows absolutely nothing except what he's been told and can't figure out that he should cloak too.

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PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2017 2:55 am 
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'The Illusion of Loneliness' sounds like the poor man's version of my 'The Vibe of Contentment' :ugeek:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2017 1:10 pm 
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If you are not giving off that vibe while doing something like this then you are just another of the 50 people standing there not talking to anyone. No one cares or even notices.

LOL at "oooh, look at that guy standing there ignoring everyone, I must have him, and of course I'm super secure with myself and fine with rejection so I'll just go talk to this guy who seems totally disconnected."

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PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2017 9:09 pm 
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I'm just starting to learn you don't need to ignore people to have the "Vibe of Contentment ".


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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 12:10 am 
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Endew wrote:
I'm just starting to learn you don't need to ignore people to have the "Vibe of Contentment ".


Good. Your internal state is not a behavior. It is what generates your behavior and makes it appear congruent or fake. To truly get this is the beginning of your happiness and positive results (in that order.)

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 9:04 am 
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Quote:
When you start to *truly* being indifferent, you start to become indifferent to your own indifference.


Quote:
But if it is like an experiment so be it.


Quote:
and can't figure out that he should cloak too.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 4:34 pm 
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Endew wrote:
I'm just starting to learn you don't need to ignore people to have the "Vibe of Contentment ".


Me too...and I'm learning I need to cloak more


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 4:58 pm 
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luciddream wrote:
Endew wrote:
I'm just starting to learn you don't need to ignore people to have the "Vibe of Contentment ".


Me too...and I'm learning I need to cloak more


Yup :mrgreen:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 12:02 am 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
luciddream wrote:
Endew wrote:
I'm just starting to learn you don't need to ignore people to have the "Vibe of Contentment ".


Me too...and I'm learning I need to cloak more


Yup :mrgreen:



what is cloak?, explain how you cloak.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 1:37 am 
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Essentially it's just not flaunting your ego and your power for everyone to overtly see and rather letting them subtly feel it and not be able to explain what it is about you that draws their attention to you. At first as you start to increase your level of power and ability to see through surface level BS, it's hard not to flaunt bc not only is there a satisfaction that comes from it but also you're still at a stage where you believe you have to do something to warrant the attention you're getting from people. As you go on and continue leveling up and seeing how everyone responds to you....you begin to realize that everyone just feels your presence and you don't actually have to do anything to get attention from people, in fact you can be very low key and you will be getting more attention than you actually would prefer having a lot of times. You can just be chillin and people will be looking at you like....who the fuck is this guy and looking at you like you're some sort of celebrity.

I'm at a stage where I actually go back and forth between enjoying the attention and kinda hating it. I also sometimes have a hard time not letting the truth flow freely through me and calling people out on their BS. I've really been learning to reign it in tho in any situation that doesn't directly affect me. Basically just learning to ignore people and let them be them.


One thing that has me caught up a bit tho lately is getting unwanted attention from other guys. Like seemingly straight guys that are just staring at me and when I catch them they may initially look away but they can't help but constantly keep looking at me and getting caught staring. I almost feel like it would actually be easier to deal with if they were gay bc this feels like it's on some "no homo yet homo" type shit. I'm realizing tho that there's no reason to be upset or resist it, it's just part of reality and the way things work and it is what it is. Curious to see what some of you guys think about this tho.

Also lately I've had a lot of dudes gf/wives looking at me like they're single while they're sitting right next to their man. If these dudes weren't so clueless I woulda found myself in a situation already by now.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 2:25 am 
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To add to this....

This is all directly related to your ability to process emotions. So on the surface you're doing nothing but below the surface you're processing emotions with absolutely no reaction to them that other people can't handle.

An example would be I will see someone looking at me with this look of like....who is this dude/wtf is it about this guy kind of look. And I will just give the person a blank and calm look back like...can I help you with something? Inevitably they either look away or they make some facial expression, an awkward smile or whatever to release the emotional tension they're feeling in their body bc they can't just comfortably sit in it so their nervous system finds a way to release it through either a facial expression or some other nervous tick in their body. Meanwhile my nervous system just processes this emotion and as long as I'm staying conscious of the emotional exchange that's taking place I can just internally laugh it off/release it and create a good feeling from a negative one. This is the glow people see/sense/feel coming from you. You're taking a shared emotion that they experience as negative and can't seem to shake and not only are you comfortable feeling it, you turn it into a good feeling by shifting your perception of/about it.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 12:42 pm 
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Quote:
This is all directly related to your ability to process emotions. So on the surface you're doing nothing but below the surface you're processing emotions with absolutely no reaction to them that other people can't handle.

An example would be I will see someone looking at me with this look of like....who is this dude/wtf is it about this guy kind of look. And I will just give the person a blank and calm look back like...can I help you with something? Inevitably they either look away or they make some facial expression, an awkward smile or whatever to release the emotional tension they're feeling in their body bc they can't just comfortably sit in it so their nervous system finds a way to release it through either a facial expression or some other nervous tick in their body. Meanwhile my nervous system just processes this emotion and as long as I'm staying conscious of the emotional exchange that's taking place I can just internally laugh it off/release it and create a good feeling from a negative one. This is the glow people see/sense/feel coming from you. You're taking a shared emotion that they experience as negative and can't seem to shake and not only are you comfortable feeling it, you turn it into a good feeling by shifting your perception of/about it.


I love this explanation!


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