Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 8:29 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:25 pm
Posts: 28
After doing lots of research on the topic and reading Grinus and AlexJ's take on the subject I've refrained from masturbation, porn, sexual stimulation as much as I could, there was one slight relapse where I looked at a couple of nude pictures but these really did nothing for me other than increase my heart rate and that drop in the stomach feeling. I'm on 22days now and I must say the results have been interesting: overall I feel great, much easier to wake up in the morning, more energy and just a more positive outlook. I also had some interesting things be brought the my attention at work. I was a job I hated and have since left but nonetheless it was interesting to hear. I was told that I was the top of the majority of the female staffs 'lists' which shocked me in a number of ways; firstly they have lost and secondly it's discussed amongst themselves and some male members of staff. I also shocked me as I'm very out of shape due to an injury that means I can't exercise and haven't been able to forms year also working in the fast food industry meant my diet was shocking.

Overall I was amazed at how much I didn't care that I was the top of their lists and how my ego didn't get a bump from this, I just took it in my stride and let it be, whereas in the past I would have developed a lot of attention seeking behaviours and would have wanted to act on these findings.

It's also highlighted to me how important this journey is and that realistically I'm just at the start both on the abstinence and becoming fully comfortable within myself and working on my marquee value.

I'd browsed this site for a couple of years on and off and never really committed even though I knew it was all gold, hopefully this small step, it is a small step, will keep me moving and growing.

So I just like to thank you all and hope that in the future I can help others as you've all helped me.

All I can say is I can't wait to take my next steps!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:48 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:14 am
Posts: 1884
Knight wrote:
What is the longest anyone on this forum has voluntarily gone without sexual stimulation?
4 months, close to 2 years without sex now partly because after my ex tried to ruin my life on a revenge whim I became really guarded and staunch.

I'm only now just starting to move on and trying to open my mind, maybe my heart again someday but highly unlikely.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2021 5:13 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:41 am
Posts: 326
Location: UK
Quote:
Brain changes aren't always bad changes

"I don't doubt some people have problems viewing too much porn," says Nicole Prause, a neuroscientist and sex researcher. "But the issue is there are lots of problems … that already explain and account for those behaviors."

A Ph.D. from the University of Indiana and founder of the Liberos research institute, Prause points out that 50% of people in treatment for sex addiction -- which is often lumped together with porn addiction under the umbrella of "hypersexuality" -- have a primary diagnosis of depression. In other words, she argues, the "addictions" are really coping mechanisms.

This appeared relevant to some of the people I spoke to. "I was sexually abused as a kid," Steve told me, "so through thousands of dollars of therapy, that's been identified as the root cause of my inability to cope in a healthy manner."

Happily, he says, his addictive personality has now led him to become "addicted to fitness."

In 2013, Prause co-authored a study which, comparing the brains of heavy porn viewers and substance addicts, questioned how appropriate the addiction model is for porn users. Along with clinical psychologist Ley, she's been a leading scrutineer of claims made by the anti-porn movement ever since.

It's not just that the "addiction" label is being misapplied, Prause says, but that the neuroscientific claims circulating in communities like NoFap range from misguided to flat-out incorrect. She says a lot of the arguments from anti-porn circles stem from a "differences as a problem" fallacy: MRI studies show how people's brains react to porn compared with other media, and those differences are eagerly interpreted as harmful.

"Some people prefer Nestle and some people prefer Ghirardelli, and their brains light up differently if they look at their preferred chocolate brand than to their non-preferred chocolate brand," she said. "So it's funny to me when people say [porn changing the brain] is problematic. There's nothing wrong about brain changes."

"If your brain is not changing, something is wrong," Prause said. "You are comatose."

Circle jerk

Prause and Ley agree with some of the anti-porn movement's messages. One of Prause's studies showed that porn elicited strong positive and negative emotion at the same time -- excitement, guilt, happiness, shame -- making it a hazardous coping mechanism. And Ley says people should scrutinize their porn and masturbation behavior, as NoFap encourages people to do, rather than be on sexual autopilot. For his part, Deem says he's not "anti-porn, just pro education."
That's about where the common ground ends.

Ley argues that online communities like NoFap, Reboot Nation and Your Brain On Porn convince healthy users they have a problem. People who have diagnosed themselves find these communities and then, confronted with stories similar to their own, become convinced their diagnosis is correct.

"It's very much like, 'I read WebMD' and now I can diagnose illnesses in myself and others," Ley says of the community's experts.

Ley's point is a veiled jab at the likes of Deem and Wilson, who have no scientific certifications. It's also a small illustration of the bitter tenor of the discourse.

"Debating with them is akin to debating Genesis with an evangelical," Ley said, adding that belief isn't a substitute for evidence. "Like all true believers, they want to shout at the people they disagree with until they give in."
https://www.cnet.com/features/porn-addi ... -its-real/
Quote:
"These folks are some of the most obsessive, hateful folks I’ve ever encountered online," Ley told Motherboard. "They rabidly attack anyone who disagrees with them, with extraordinary black and white thinking… My impression is that they tend to be highly obsessive individuals who transmute their obsessive use of porn into an obsession with attacking people who might expose that the problem is in them, rather than the porn. Ultimately, they’re the problem, not the porn."

"It’s endlessly fascinating to me how these folks take on the role of besieged martyrs, fighting against evil, but then claim their arguments are not based in morality," Ley said. "I’m personally and professionally troubled that they present men and masculinity as being so weak that dirty movies overwhelm our reason, our self-will, and cripple our penises. It’s a disturbing presentation of their idea of men."
https://www.vice.com/en/article/ywa97m/ ... t-november

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The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it's conformity.


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PostPosted: Mon May 31, 2021 2:44 am 
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Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:55 pm
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Location: Canada
I haven't watched porn in about 2.5 years. There have been countries which invaded other countries and one of the first things they did was take over the tv stations and play it.

Why? Because it is a weapon. There is a reason it's free.

No small percentage of the women involved in it have terrible life situations that are been taken advantage of as well.

There's a podcast I watch sometimes called FreshandFit if you observe the guys who are on there. They will tell you they don't watch it either, it's not something high value men do.

If people want to, that's their own free-will choice. It's energy that could be put into projects and improving yourself, it drains you of motivation.

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."


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