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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:03 pm 
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fufe wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
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So generally speaking, I have to be asshole?
When the need arises...yes. I thought this would be obvious by now. :|
I've never been an asshole, I don't know when to be one. That's my problem all the way to the beginning.
You've never gotten that gut feeling that screams at you to do something in certain situations dealing with women but you never listen to it? From now on, heed its call and you will no longer have that problem. 8-)

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:06 pm 
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[quote="The Kidd!!"

You've never gotten that gut feeling that screams at you to do something in certain situations dealing with women but you never listen to it? From now on, heed its call and you will no longer have that problem. 8-)[/quote]

No. I never get what do you call gut feeling.

@Alchemist Yeah, and I told them to fuck off - Including all girls.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:16 pm 
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fufe wrote:
[quote="The Kidd!!"

You've never gotten that gut feeling that screams at you to do something in certain situations dealing with women but you never listen to it? From now on, heed its call and you will no longer have that problem. 8-)
No. I never get what do you call gut feeling.

@Alchemist Yeah, and I told them to fuck off - Including all girls.[/quote]

Well...you sound like member of the 'Asshole when it's Necessary' club to me! :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:18 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:

Well...you sound like member of the 'Asshole when it's Necessary' club to me! :mrgreen:
I don't know if that's honest.. But what I'm doing doesn't work for me, it always end up the same, it just lasts a little longer now.

Edit: Kidd I need to move forward. Fuck me up in the way that would help me move onwards, you are the best person in doing it.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:29 pm 
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fufe wrote:
Kidd I need to move forward. Fuck me up in the way that would help me move onwards, you are the best person in doing it.
He is, no doubt.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:32 pm 
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fufe wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:

Well...you sound like member of the 'Asshole when it's Necessary' club to me! :mrgreen:
I don't know if that's honest.. But what I'm doing doesn't work for me, it always end up the same, it just lasts a little longer now.

Edit: Kidd I need to move forward. Fuck me up in the way that would help me move onwards, you are the best person in doing it.
Wow fufe...if that isn't a complete 180 degree turnaround then I don't know what is! :o

I don't need to beat you up...you're a logical young man...you just need to handle the truth and act accordingly.

I have to beat up guys like Sniper every now and then because they just get stuck for some reason. :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 7:10 pm 
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You don't have to be an asshole - just don't engage with them.

If they start an argument, don't respond, walk away and don't call her again. That's it. If you get 'angry' with them, they will know that they've got you. It doesn't matter who wins the argument or who makes the better point. If there is something you need to communicate, do it, then go.

But don't come back. Let them beg.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 7:52 pm 
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You don't have get belligerent to be considered an asshole, Scarf. Im very good at being a calm, low key, disappointed asshole. 8-)

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:10 pm 
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fufe wrote:
So generally speaking, I have to be asshole ?
NO!

You can be, it can be very effective..

There is another path also, it is up to you which one you choose.
Scarf wrote:
You don't have to be an asshole - just don't engage with them.

If they start an argument, don't respond, walk away and don't call her again. That's it. If you get 'angry' with them, they will know that they've got you. It doesn't matter who wins the argument or who makes the better point. If there is something you need to communicate, do it, then go.

But don't come back. Let them beg.
I agree with the thought behind this.

Withdrawing is very effective, staying unemotional is also.

It does not 'feed' them, whereas being an ass-hole can feed them, depending on their personality make-up.

I have experimented with both and settled on the one that is most congruent to me and in my view most effective for me.
Firm, unemotional, stating my boundary and withdrawing attention/me if it gets to that point.

They keep pushing and I will take their toy away from them. See how much they like that
:o
Alchemist wrote:
I see....thanks for the clarification guys, next time I put my foot down I will relish in it, the first time I didn't fully realize how sweet it was. :twisted:
Just remember the above when you do.

Firm but emotionless. As soon as you get emotional they know they have had an effect on you, in Scarf's words 'theyve got to you' on some level. They have found a chink in the armour and a way in to leverage.

You do have to set your boundaries and stick by them. If you set one, then stick to it.. Not in an ass-hole way, just be firm. If they keep walking all over it, point out that they stepped over the line and walk or show them the door.

If you do not, then they know you will give in. They know you will always give in, if they push hard enough.
The Kidd!! wrote:
You don't have get belligerent to be considered an asshole, Scarf. Im very good at being a calm, low key, disappointed asshole. 8-)
To me that isn't an ass-hole.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:22 pm 
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To me that isn't an ass-hole.
Haha! The asshole part is when I don't bend on my demands and expectations immediately afterwards. :lol: ;)

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:04 pm 
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I believe that there is some kind of Anglo-American linguistic/semantic mix up here. :mrgreen:

In any case:
peregrinus wrote:
I have experimented with both and settled on the one that is most congruent to me and in my view most effective for me.
I would seriously recommend all people to take to heart what peregrinus has said here and follow suit.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:33 pm 
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I agree, Scarf...to each their own. 8-)

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 10:57 am 
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Scarf wrote:
You don't have to be an asshole - just don't engage with them.

If they start an argument, don't respond, walk away and don't call her again. That's it. If you get 'angry' with them, they will know that they've got you. It doesn't matter who wins the argument or who makes the better point. If there is something you need to communicate, do it, then go.

But don't come back. Let them beg.
I much prefer finding their weakness...a chink in their vanity and then playing it to the hilt actually ;)

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:19 pm 
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Morpheus wrote:
I much prefer finding their weakness...a chink in their vanity and then playing it to the hilt actually ;)
No one will stop you.


Just note that you can only play the game at the level that you're at.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 14, 2014 8:44 pm 
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Altair wrote:
Scarf wrote:
You don't have to be an asshole - just don't engage with them.

If they start an argument, don't respond, walk away and don't call her again. That's it. If you get 'angry' with them, they will know that they've got you. It doesn't matter who wins the argument or who makes the better point. If there is something you need to communicate, do it, then go.

But don't come back. Let them beg.
I much prefer finding their weakness...a chink in their vanity and then playing it to the hilt actually ;)
This should be one of the first things you learn regardless of whether you want to exploit them or not, just by virtue of actually listening to them and the life story they will inevitably impart. I actually enjoy learning a women's weak point, because it actually allows me to empathise with them.

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