As someone who came to a good number of the realizations that Vilar did from watching my mom manipulate my dad in exactly the way that Vilar describes (see: http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2584
), I might have some insight to the question that Dr. Awesome (and others) proposed:
Well, I thought about the differentiation "needs/wants" but Vilar describes women as if its their NEED to get a provider (like I said, if it comes from the core of her being then its not a concious want but a need of her nature) and then I don't understand why she should be attracted to a man who's indifferent to her, who won't fit her needs. In other words: Where should the NEED for a indifferent man come from when its a need of her deepest being to get a provider?
Having observed my mom and her resentment and anger at my dad - here's what I think. She's not happy with him because she's stuck with him even though she has absolutely zero (and I mean truly zero) respect for him. Nobody would like to be stuck exclusively with someone that they have no respect for, and nobody would be attracted to someone who they have zero respect for, no matter what that person does for them.
My mom sees herself as so vastly superior to my dad (and the evidence she uses to convince herself of that is the fact that she can manipulate him so badly and he won't do anything about it), that she views him as almost worthless. Yes, he provides for her, but she doesn't have any excitement or enjoyment out of spending time with him.
It would be like trying to play a serious game of basketball against someone who just steps aside and lets you take whatever shot you want completely uncontested. When its their turn to have the ball and try to score on you, they just hand the ball back and say "oops, I guess I turned it over." Its just not even a game at that point, and it wouldn't be any fun. You would be better off just playing by yourself.
I think women are attracted to a lot of different types of guys. They may be attracted to both the independent/indifferent man and to the provider. They may choose to date the provider because they think thats what they want, but they find out eventually that its not fun or exciting to play against someone who just hands you the ball back.
Some (like my mother) may find out that its not fun to play against someone who won't play back after they have already gotten locked up with that person. Some may find out before they're trapped with a provider, and will try to find an independent man. Most won't be able to find one...