So, ended up reading most of his books, watching multiple videos too.
Very interesting lens, and very eloquent / apt writer. Very much love his style.
Quite similar to what is talked here about some women guys had to deal with (well, hello ...
). The emotional world and its intricacies. But detailed logically. (Please of course take his words with a pinch of salt, he's a narc so amplifying things to create more effect)
Almost forgot, this is a great mirror to have to help us with our own traits / patterns, both empathic and narcissistic. It was fascinating to confront it.
Now, a One-liner on each book's subject / worth / value, and my top 5 for you all :
Top 5 :
: What narcs are after, how they get it, who they get it from, quantification of importance (Source of Fuel / Method of delivery of Fuel). Most important book. READ IT!
Sex and the Narcissist
: How narcs use sex during the different phases of relationships, the effect it has on targets.
Sitting Target How and Why the Narcissist Chooses You
: How narcs select their targets (which traits, where, why, how), put them in categories depending on what they want to gain from them (depending on which type of narcissist it is).
: 25 methods that narcs use to manipulate the targets.
Revenge How to Beat the Narcissist
: When you just want to destroy them / don't want "No Contact". Details different types of narcissists (Victim, Cerebral, Somatic and Ultra) and pillars (Status / Entitlement / Omnipotence, Superiority, Lack of accountability, Blame shifting, Attention seeking and Lack of Empathy), and how to beat each pillar.
Others Recommended, unsorted :
A Grimoire of Narcissism
: Definitions of narc's concepts and methods. Simple and to the point. Bonus Schematics and cycles / causes -> effects
Ask the Narcissist The Answers
: Interesting questions / answers
Ask 2 The Narcissist Answers
: Also interesting but less than above.
Black Flag 50 Warning Signs of Abuse
: Very detailed / step-by-step on many dangers / techniques
Black Hole The Narcissistic Hoover
: Details all the different types of hoover (trying to suck you back in), how / why they work
Chained The Narcissist s Co-Dependent
: Good supplementary to Fuel, details their best source of Fuel and reminder of why / what they both gain
Danger 50 Things You Should Not Do With Narcissists
: Details how targets fall for them
Decipher-What the Narcissist Really Mean
: 50 Phrases of what targets hear / what narcs mean
Escape How to Beat the Narcissist
: Details the methods used by narcs and how to deal with them. With Mindset
: What he says, do, and thinks, on the different phases of relationships (Seduction, Devaluation, Discard, Hoover)
Exorcism Purging the Narcissist
: Details why it's hard for targets to become indifferent / leave, and how to do it
: Details how Fury is different from normal anger (two types of fury, violent and cold), how they use it, why it's effective and how to deal with it
No Contact How to Beat the Narcissist
: Details what "No Contact" is, how to do it in different scenarios (No Contact is the most effective way with narcs. "Only winning move is NOT TO PLAY")
Red Flag 50 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Seduction
: 50 methods that narcs use during seduction phase
Smeared Knowing and Beating the Narcissist-s Campaign
: Why do they engage in propaganda to discredit you, how, at which stage, why is it effective, what effect does it have, how to beat it
Your Fault Blame and the Narcissist
: Details one pillar of narcs, why do they defect blame, how.
Multiple lists detailing narcs behavior. Recommended skimming / searching terms :
Elated and Eroded
Feted and Feared
Ghosted and Gilded
Horns and Halos
Idealised and Ignored
Jealousy and Joy
Outnumbered Not Outgunned
The Devil s Toolkit
Why - Understanding the Narcissist
Ones I skimmed fast but didn't read :
A Delinquent Mind
Adored and Abhorred
Beautiful and Barbaric
(Liked the Narc Club page).
Cherished and Chastised
Confessions of a Narcissist
Darlings and Demons
From the Mouth of a Narcissist
Further Confessions of a Narcissist
(Liked the Who Seeks treatment page)
Getting Out How to Prepare to Leave the Narcissist
(A primer for Escape / No Contact written a year later)
More Confessions of a Narcissist
(Liked the You Bring it On Yourself page)
Treasured and Tormented
For the lazy, I have created a 520 pages with what I consider the crux of each book. PM me if it interests you.
You'll be better off buying / reading Fuel then go from there.
PS: I'll create a thread on Narcissism, as I dived way deeper than HG's material. And it's a fascinating subject / concept imho.