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 Post subject: Drop the line and split
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 2:23 am 
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Kidd,

I cold approached a girl last night after closing time at the bar.
She was all alone on outside waiting for something. I saw nothing in her immediate environment, so I made a b-line and properly introduced myself.

*tap* (waiting for a turn around)
D: Hi... :)
H: Hi :)
D: My names thedude
H: My name is (name)

Saw her eyes dilate, body language facing me, signs.

We chatted briefly. She let me know her friends bailed on her, so it seemed. I asked if she wanted to join me on the street until her friends showed up, she agreed.

This is where I think lost the ball (if I ever had it :?: ). Instead of keeping it short and sweet I talked too much (not content-wise, but just chatting to kill time). I remember thinking I should drop her my line, tell her to call me and split.

We chatted, she saw her friends, and exited, no exchange of numbers.

Looking back I was thinking of how to have played it differently for future situations. :twisted:
Chat with her, enjoy it while it lasted, then when feeling the (gut) prompt my exit and leave my info with her.

Maybe something like: "I liked this chat. Take my number down and give me a call. I've got to take off".

How would you have played it to best your odds?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:43 am 
You will always wonder about things like this when you "cold approach" women.

I can definitely tell you that she doesn't like you if you can answer this one question.....

Did she look back at you while she was leaving or wait for a few seconds?

Short answer in my book is that you were leaving the bar. So, you were leaving the bar.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:55 am 
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Slim Titan wrote:
You will always wonder about things like this when you "cold approach" women.

I can definitely tell you that she doesn't like you if you can answer this one question.....

Did she look back at you while she was leaving or wait for a few seconds?

Short answer in my book is that you were leaving the bar. So, you were leaving the bar.
GIT OFF MY LAWN :geek:

You volunteered to hoe sit...that's where you messed up. Shoulda just keep it short, sweet, left her with your number and bounced. I'm sure you noticed that you were the one making most of the conversation...and that didnt sit right with your gut...which is why you made no attempt to exchange numbers. You felt you that sinking feeling as soon as you made the suggestion to wait with her. :geek:

Next time, HEED YOUR GUT. :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:59 am 
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Kidd,

I'm think I already know the answer to this situation and it goes like: Introduction, feel it out, observe, if I see signs and time is not on my side, drop your line and exit. This way there's a mystery and confidence to me that may or may not bait her in. In the end, she has my number if she wants to do something with it.

Am I in the ball park?


Last edited by TheDude on Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:06 am 
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TheDude wrote:
Kidd,

I'm think I already know the answer to this situation and it goes like: Introduction, feel it out, observe, if I see signs and time is not on my side, drop your line and exit. This way there's a mystery and confidence to me that may or may not bait her in. In the end, she has my number if she wants to do something with it.

Am I in the ball park?
You keep it short and sweet regardless. YOU end the interaction not HER.

If she doesn't like you, you have your time saved.

If she does like you, she'll call because she wants more.

Either way, less is more. :ugeek:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:18 am 
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Yup, I was definitely hoe sitting as soon as we crossed the street together and it didn't feel right one bit.

I end the interaction and less is more, got it.

So simple!

Thanks


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:27 am 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
If she does like you, she'll call because she wants more.
The times I've dropped my line and got a response have always been with a text message, never a call. Is getting a call over a text message a bigger sign of interest or something?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:03 am 
TheDude wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
If she does like you, she'll call because she wants more.
The times I've dropped my line and got a response have always been with a text message, never a call. Is getting a call over a text message a bigger sign of interest or something?
*sits on The Kidd!!'s lawn*

:P

Yes.

Edit: If they are from an older generation like 30+ then less so but still true. If they are 50+ then probably doesn't mean much.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:12 am 
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TheDude wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
If she does like you, she'll call because she wants more.
The times I've dropped my line and got a response have always been with a text message, never a call. Is getting a call over a text message a bigger sign of interest or something?
Not really. Texting is the new calling nowadays. Remember...they are not obligated to do anything at all. :ugeek:

Slim, you know the rules...I respond in my section FIRST. After that, anything goes. If I never respond, then it stays a OP thread. :geek:

[ img ]
8-)

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Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:30 am 
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Got it!

Thanks boss.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:24 am 
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Didn't need to tap her either. I know it seems small, but it's really so big.

Can do it in very specific situations, but never cold. Reeks of needy 8-)


@ Slim - now that is a killer quote in your signature.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:21 pm 
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TheDude wrote:
This is where I think lost the ball (if I ever had it :?: ).
Really?

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:56 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
TheDude wrote:
This is where I think lost the ball (if I ever had it :?: ).
Really?
Thinking about it I thought I had the ball by being non-needy and really just being me and how I felt in the moment. But, with your comment and thinking about it now, I don't think anyone had ball possession. It was all in my head.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:21 am 
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Was she eyeing you prior to your approach? Did she give any indication whatsoever that she was choosing you BEFORE your approach?

Unless she was choosing before you approached, you very clearly did not have possession of the ball.

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"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:48 am 
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Meraki wrote:
Was she eyeing you prior to your approach? Did she give any indication whatsoever that she was choosing you BEFORE your approach?

Unless she was choosing before you approached, you very clearly did not have possession of the ball.
Thanks Meraki, I need to get clarification on "ball control" (will do after finishing my current readings).

No, there was evidence prior to my approach. Purely just me going to see if I can start a fire out of some sticks. :D

So, I see what peregrinus was trying to say...I never had ball control, because she was the one in control (she could either end the conversation or let it flow). She was the oak tree and I was a bird.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 2:55 am 
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WHENEVER you cold approach, they definitely have the ball and KNOW IT. It's up to you to decide quickly wether or not:

1) Is the ball stealable?

2) Is it worth the effort to steal it?

You have to be able to observe, analyze and apply IN THE MOMENT...and some of you guys can't multitask that quickly and effectively yet. :geek:

Nothing wrong with cold approaching...but be aware of what you're getting yourself into. :ugeek:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:28 am 
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Yep, definitely a more sophisticated tactic. The chances of it working out well are much lower than just choosing from who chooses you, but it can be a fun diversion too, and good to challenge and stretch yourself.

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"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 9:19 am 
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I cannot help get the feeling you are missing the moon here.

Sure, wander over, have a chat, wander elsewhere.

What happened to not being attached to the outcome.

If you really aren't, weird things happen to that ball thing.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 9:41 pm 
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Chat just to chat.

If I want something, state it, if she's interested she will join.

The Kidd!! wrote:
WHENEVER you cold approach, they definitely have the ball and KNOW IT. It's up to you to decide quickly wether or not:

1) Is the ball stealable?

2) Is it worth the effort to steal it?

You have to be able to observe, analyze and apply IN THE MOMENT...and some of you guys can't multitask that quickly and effectively yet. :geek:

Nothing wrong with cold approaching...but be aware of what you're getting yourself into. :ugeek:
This one is being stored into the memory banks.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:50 pm 
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Another thing to note, if you cold approach you limit your decisions within the context of the individual situation never mind the meta game going on around you.

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