I wanted to save both of us some time and let you hit three birds with one stone. They're different colored birds and different species, but they're in the same genus.
You can become completely aware of it and not act on it...but remnants of it will always be there...
We are born a blank slate...society molds us in every way. Sure you some innate urges, but ultimately, your environment dictates who you are to become.
My environment, specifically the people in it, are exerting a lot of pressure on me and my nuclear family. [It's other extended family members to boot, not that that shouldn't be expected.] I don't have the resources to move and cut everyone off yet. It seems clear to me that I need to move though. My predictions and hypotheses about defending their attacks keep coming true. I haven't found a counter-strategy yet, because I'm not one to go one the offensive and seek to ruin someone's life. If I can find the way to internally make peace with this resistance will a door open? I've been knocking on all kinds of opportunities to find a way. I'm taking what I consider to be massive steps towards achieving my end of leaving the environment I'm in. What can I do to combat this situation? If you need more specifics then I will message you in PM, take/give a phone call, or contact you on Skype. I don't have the cash to pay now, but I will find a way to come up with the money if you deem it necessary.
On a lighter note, I've started talking to a woman. I can't assess much about her. She kicked the chase me game early on. I just responded, "Do what works." After I attempted getting past security, which failed, I just test her to see her interest level because I may have been wrong. It happens. I told her to call me. She said she couldn't because she has to work early tomorrow, but she was up watching Taken 2
. She fails the test, so I say, "K, you have my info." Then I attempt to go to sleep before my interview.
She immediately responds, "Ok, I'll hit you up tomorrow." She has followed through on her word. I didn't care nor did I expect it. As far as I'm concerned, unless her attitude has done a 180 we're done. She didn't respond to my voicemail from a day before so that's still deposited in the bank. She also left me hanging when were texting a couple days before that.
She's a decent looking girl with her body. I suspect that she gets hit on a fair amount.
Is that just bad behavior? She definitely seemed interested. In fact, it's doubly weird that I was able to steal the ball so casually without some big setup because of that past behavior. I didn't have to orchestrate the circumstances to steal the ball at all.
I was thinking about something today too. Sometimes it seems like women who know a lot about how I think tend to like me hard and fast because I'm not some chump they can run over. However, at the same time, I don't go willy-nilly spilling the beans on myself. So, there seems to be some mystery there. I say things as they are needed and do my best to refrain from explaining myself. This seems like a paradox. How can knowing (figuring me out) be something that attractive while the mystery is attractive too. It seems like the two things should be working on competing receptors (lol have no better word) in their head.