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Drop the line and split
http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=3770		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  TheDude [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 2:23 am ]
Post subject:  Drop the line and split
Kidd,

I cold approached a girl last night after closing time at the bar.
She was all alone on outside waiting for something. I saw nothing in her immediate environment, so I made a b-line and properly introduced myself.

*tap* (waiting for a turn around)
D: Hi... :)
H: Hi :)
D: My names thedude
H: My name is (name)

Saw her eyes dilate, body language facing me, signs.

We chatted briefly. She let me know her friends bailed on her, so it seemed. I asked if she wanted to join me on the street until her friends showed up, she agreed.

This is where I think lost the ball (if I ever had it :?: ). Instead of keeping it short and sweet I talked too much (not content-wise, but just chatting to kill time). I remember thinking I should drop her my line, tell her to call me and split.

We chatted, she saw her friends, and exited, no exchange of numbers.

Looking back I was thinking of how to have played it differently for future situations. :twisted:
Chat with her, enjoy it while it lasted, then when feeling the (gut) prompt my exit and leave my info with her.

Maybe something like: "I liked this chat. Take my number down and give me a call. I've got to take off".

How would you have played it to best your odds?
Author:  Slim Titan [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
You will always wonder about things like this when you "cold approach" women.

I can definitely tell you that she doesn't like you if you can answer this one question.....

Did she look back at you while she was leaving or wait for a few seconds?

Short answer in my book is that you were leaving the bar. So, you were leaving the bar.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Slim Titan wrote:
You will always wonder about things like this when you "cold approach" women.

I can definitely tell you that she doesn't like you if you can answer this one question.....

Did she look back at you while she was leaving or wait for a few seconds?

Short answer in my book is that you were leaving the bar. So, you were leaving the bar.
GIT OFF MY LAWN :geek:

You volunteered to hoe sit...that's where you messed up. Shoulda just keep it short, sweet, left her with your number and bounced. I'm sure you noticed that you were the one making most of the conversation...and that didnt sit right with your gut...which is why you made no attempt to exchange numbers. You felt you that sinking feeling as soon as you made the suggestion to wait with her. :geek:

Next time, HEED YOUR GUT. :ugeek:
Author:  TheDude [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Kidd,

I'm think I already know the answer to this situation and it goes like: Introduction, feel it out, observe, if I see signs and time is not on my side, drop your line and exit. This way there's a mystery and confidence to me that may or may not bait her in. In the end, she has my number if she wants to do something with it.

Am I in the ball park?
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
TheDude wrote:
Kidd,

I'm think I already know the answer to this situation and it goes like: Introduction, feel it out, observe, if I see signs and time is not on my side, drop your line and exit. This way there's a mystery and confidence to me that may or may not bait her in. In the end, she has my number if she wants to do something with it.

Am I in the ball park?
You keep it short and sweet regardless. YOU end the interaction not HER.

If she doesn't like you, you have your time saved.

If she does like you, she'll call because she wants more.

Either way, less is more. :ugeek:
Author:  TheDude [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Yup, I was definitely hoe sitting as soon as we crossed the street together and it didn't feel right one bit.

I end the interaction and less is more, got it.

So simple!

Thanks
Author:  TheDude [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
The Kidd!! wrote:
If she does like you, she'll call because she wants more.
The times I've dropped my line and got a response have always been with a text message, never a call. Is getting a call over a text message a bigger sign of interest or something?
Author:  Slim Titan [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
TheDude wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
If she does like you, she'll call because she wants more.
The times I've dropped my line and got a response have always been with a text message, never a call. Is getting a call over a text message a bigger sign of interest or something?
*sits on The Kidd!!'s lawn*

:P

Yes.

Edit: If they are from an older generation like 30+ then less so but still true. If they are 50+ then probably doesn't mean much.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
TheDude wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
If she does like you, she'll call because she wants more.
The times I've dropped my line and got a response have always been with a text message, never a call. Is getting a call over a text message a bigger sign of interest or something?
Not really. Texting is the new calling nowadays. Remember...they are not obligated to do anything at all. :ugeek:

Slim, you know the rules...I respond in my section FIRST. After that, anything goes. If I never respond, then it stays a OP thread. :geek:

[ img ]
8-)
Author:  TheDude [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Got it!

Thanks boss.
Author:  Leo [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Didn't need to tap her either. I know it seems small, but it's really so big.

Can do it in very specific situations, but never cold. Reeks of needy 8-)


@ Slim - now that is a killer quote in your signature.
Author:  peregrinus [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
TheDude wrote:
This is where I think lost the ball (if I ever had it :?: ).
Really?
Author:  TheDude [ Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
peregrinus wrote:
TheDude wrote:
This is where I think lost the ball (if I ever had it :?: ).
Really?
Thinking about it I thought I had the ball by being non-needy and really just being me and how I felt in the moment. But, with your comment and thinking about it now, I don't think anyone had ball possession. It was all in my head.
Author:  Meraki [ Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Was she eyeing you prior to your approach? Did she give any indication whatsoever that she was choosing you BEFORE your approach?

Unless she was choosing before you approached, you very clearly did not have possession of the ball.
Author:  TheDude [ Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Meraki wrote:
Was she eyeing you prior to your approach? Did she give any indication whatsoever that she was choosing you BEFORE your approach?

Unless she was choosing before you approached, you very clearly did not have possession of the ball.
Thanks Meraki, I need to get clarification on "ball control" (will do after finishing my current readings).

No, there was evidence prior to my approach. Purely just me going to see if I can start a fire out of some sticks. :D

So, I see what peregrinus was trying to say...I never had ball control, because she was the one in control (she could either end the conversation or let it flow). She was the oak tree and I was a bird.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Thu Feb 13, 2014 2:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
WHENEVER you cold approach, they definitely have the ball and KNOW IT. It's up to you to decide quickly wether or not:

1) Is the ball stealable?

2) Is it worth the effort to steal it?

You have to be able to observe, analyze and apply IN THE MOMENT...and some of you guys can't multitask that quickly and effectively yet. :geek:

Nothing wrong with cold approaching...but be aware of what you're getting yourself into. :ugeek:
Author:  Meraki [ Thu Feb 13, 2014 3:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Yep, definitely a more sophisticated tactic. The chances of it working out well are much lower than just choosing from who chooses you, but it can be a fun diversion too, and good to challenge and stretch yourself.
Author:  peregrinus [ Thu Feb 13, 2014 9:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
I cannot help get the feeling you are missing the moon here.

Sure, wander over, have a chat, wander elsewhere.

What happened to not being attached to the outcome.

If you really aren't, weird things happen to that ball thing.
Author:  TheDude [ Thu Feb 13, 2014 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Chat just to chat.

If I want something, state it, if she's interested she will join.

The Kidd!! wrote:
WHENEVER you cold approach, they definitely have the ball and KNOW IT. It's up to you to decide quickly wether or not:

1) Is the ball stealable?

2) Is it worth the effort to steal it?

You have to be able to observe, analyze and apply IN THE MOMENT...and some of you guys can't multitask that quickly and effectively yet. :geek:

Nothing wrong with cold approaching...but be aware of what you're getting yourself into. :ugeek:
This one is being stored into the memory banks.
Author:  Altair [ Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Drop the line and split
Another thing to note, if you cold approach you limit your decisions within the context of the individual situation never mind the meta game going on around you.
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