Natural Freedom

This question is addressed to The Kidd and Peregrinus, but any other opinions are welcome.

I have been reading here since very long time. I think i understand almost everything, and i myself have actually changed since i took this path. However, i have this point that i'm not sure of.

When dealing with women, women are usually the ones filling space, you are the ones giving it. Women are the ones who pursue, try to please and etc., and you are the ones who give them the chance to do that by not denying them.

My question is: when dealing with women, especially with a girlfriend or someone who's interested, do YOU as indifferent men, ever fill or take space without them giving it to you? Is it right to do so? Do you for example initiate contact or sex?

I thought of it. Filling or taking space in this case would show wanting and attachment to me. But, my guess to whether an indifferent man fills space would still be: yes, but rarely. Please correct me if i'm wrong.

...

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Sorry I can relate...

_________________
GMST

Yeah... Because there are too little examples, too little clear clarifications and we get confused again, again and again...

We? Speak for yourself, sport.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Three is enough for "we" I think, isn't it.. Dali, Barca, myself
And I wouldn't be surprised if anybody else thought so too

What is with you and your herd mentality? Strength in numbers? Be your own man, dude.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Ok, I will rewrite it then

I'm confused as hell about most things here, because new posts create more contradictory points, instead of confirmations. I don't mean this one specifically, this is just an effect of the confusion that I experience for some time (If I was to write this post, I can relate too)

Everything went Ok, I got better (you probably remember those good experience posts I wrote back then), then sudden change, I got conflicting experiences, fuckups I didn't understand and what you guys told me confused me more and more over time and continues to this day...

I'm reading treasure chest and making notes, so I can hopefully re-establish something useful

You don't understand because you're approaching it with the wrong mindset. If you keep on thinking about how to "use" space, it will seem confusing as hell.

_________________
Take it easy, man. But take it.

Good shit.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

In my view:


The answer, to your own question, is fine.

It is the question that is flawed.


Space is something that can be experienced at all times regardless of physical, emotional or even sexual proximity.

You can't just suddenly think to yourself "Oooh, look at me, I'm an indifferent man. I think I'm going to go take up some space now". The very thought and the conscious action of it would put the other person off as they will sense your desperation.

The best and probably the only way to take up 'space', without actually taking it up, would be as an expression of yourself and who you are as an individual. This will give her the space to express herself as an individual.

That is the best kind of relationship.....or even an interaction.

_________________
Sparkling All Over

Yes. It's a fun game called getting past security

I think your looking at indifference and space as these absolute things you can never break. Adapt the methods to you. Being completely apathetic all the time? That sounds boring as shit .

There's times to give space and take space and to give a fuck
And not give a fuck

Just because you fill space doesn't mean your attached or whatever. Letting that determine your in actions shows your attached.

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Guys get really confused because...they don't do enough critical analysis the answers are in the posts the smart guys...but you have to really stop and pull shit apart and see how it applies to other similar situations to really understand it. It's interactive learning not
Passive.

Trying to focus to hard the technical details without mastering the two most important pieces.
When you really don't give a fuck, a lot of potential
Games out the window and when they happen they domt even register on your radar.

Trying to hard to perfectly emulate stuff. Everyone is their own person, that part of the gaining self confidence part. When you have that combined with the indifference your more free to interact with the world the way you want because you don't care. Thats when a lot more stuff will make sense and your able to bend and break rules of the matrix
As you please

Just my thoughts though

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

I understand your point... The biggest thing that's challenging me is that it seems I must not care about the girl.. I can't do that, I care about people in general, and more about my relationships.. I would deny myself in this

I'm not aginst your choices, but sometimes you guys are ruthless.. I'm all for "Give a person what they deserve", but when it really doesn't matter and one does it only for personal satisfaction... I could never hurt another human like that, without regrets

Im assuming your talking about a girlfriend.

If I were to have one. Yeah I'd care about her, but not to the point that it effected my judgement. I don't really feel love or any of that anymore knowing what it is.

Like Star said you can approach it by being above her or below her if you care more than she does..that's bad

Sometimes you have to be ruthless. Just not without cause.

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Well that's the challenge I have since I can remember stepping in here

I understand and see how I have to care less than her, I've seen enough evidence here and in life.. The problem is if that's even possible in my case.. Close relationships are what I care most about in my life
I wouldn't really call it love.. I have lots of empathy, I tend to understand where the person is coming from when they do or say something so I don't judge people, I want to help them, often I understand even somebody who I should consider an enemy...

There must me a way how to make this work out, but I don't know what that is..
If it's possible to not be attached and still feel and do this, than it could be that..
Or just find a girl who'd care more than me, if that's possible.. That would've been a girl with core values same as mine (SURPRISE, MIRROR)

I understand the ruthless part.. But you guys seem to sometimes be ruthless because of ego.. My ego is pleased by helping, not hurting, so I have hard time doing it

Putting a lot of focus into relationships is very yin. When you put your focus into your path and take it from getting a girlfriend is when they'll be trying to figure you out.

Women are a mystery..because they do the most illogical random shit. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to pin point them. Use that energy for productive things.

Would you be interested in a women that is acting masculine?

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

I can understand that.. But everytime I think I discovered my path, somebody shows up and tells me it's not good enough, so I don't know my path yet.

That's good question, about the woman acting masculine. Women describe me as very masculine, but are surprised at my feeling abilities - It actually sometimes makes them confused and surprised as shit
So I can probably imagine a girl more masculine but still feminime in nature..

What do you mean, exactly ? I think my picture is different from yours

It's your path. Others will ALWAYS disagree

What specific examples of "hurting someone" that you could never do are you referring to? What stance do you interpret as "hurting someone"? That term is your projection and will reveal a lot about yourself to you.

Being unattached or not tolerating things has nothing to do with 'hurting' - hurting = taking specific actions with no intention other than to do harm. There are many sections I have not read but highly doubt anyone encourages active revenge or going and punching someone in the face, etc.

Doing what is best for yourself or a situation can be very uncomfortable and not what the person wants. Avoiding discomfort/confrontation is a very different animal than 'not hurting.'

You are pleased by helping people- that's a great thing. If helping people is your genuine passion in life, then you already have a lot of insights into your path. Volunteer/charity work.. healing work.. do what you can to help those you deeply need your help for the sheer joy and satisfaction it gives you.

If you on the other hand are talking mostly about doing "nice things" for women, primarily women you are attracted to (or your family who you 'get' a lot out of having good relationships with), then don't kid yourself. This is adopting moral superiority as a form of resistance. I have no idea if this is the case for you or not, that you must examine for yourself.

_________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4