Why am I so bad at it lol
Because your ego rules you...you secretly WANT people to how things make you really feel...you get off on it.
How do you get past that? Also what do you mean, I get off on it. Your definitely right.
But what am I really getting out of it. What need is it serving?
Also that would imply that "popular kids" have little desire for people to know how things make them feel.
Actually part of it would be that I want them to know when I have them beat, like in school I was decent at sports but always have excelled at brain stuff,a card I have always played on other people.
Old revelation but I really do make people feel threatened, the first side was just plain trying to fly under the radar (and failing
) actually it was the ex that pointed it out. Didn't really believe her at the time.
Second step is realizing how I invite that kind of drama. I purposely instigated it up to this point mostly subconsciously.
This sounds really arrogant to say but when I'm out and about I really do feel like I am better than everyone else. Especially at work, like the people that are playing games are below me. And I pretty much always consider them vastly less intelligent. It's not like a coverup for insecurity. I really feel that way.
I guess the next step would be to get to the point. Where those desires that are currently being met through drama are satisfied some other way.