I could appreciate beauty in women and attractive women, not on a sexual level, on a pure beauty level. Also at this time a lot of the 'good looking' (according to friends) women really REPULSED ME! - I could see past that, inside of them and what I saw was not pretty at all
So what did you see in these women that repulsed and what interactions between man and woman dynamics took place that you were able to see clearer ??
Apologies for missing this.
a) What did I see in these women that repulsed me
Once I looked past the 'facade' or 'mask' of the women, once I put aside the societal beliefs as to what comprises that thing called 'beauty', then I started to see more clearly what they were really like inside.
This lead me to a lot of things that repulsed me about some women, these features tended to be more accentuated in those considered 'beautiful' - because of societal training men tend to pander to them more. This is not always the case though and can be considered to be across the board, just to a lesser or greater degree depending on the woman in question.
Consider themselves above the 'normal' person
Wholy judge people by their outside appearance
Are wholy and unashamaedly selfish to unbelievable degrees
See men as purely wallets
See men as toys to be played with emotionally
See all humans as toys to be played with
Are fundamentally damaged emotionally or mentally
Treat others with contempt and distain
Have no personal ethical code or morals (I am not talking sex here)
Lie like you would not believe
Manipulate others constantly
Are incapable of empathy
Are incapable of 'caring' about another humans welbeing
Are incapable of maintaining a relationship with ANY other human being
Have no conscience at all
Would be labelled psychopaths more easily if they were male
Are capable of murdering another human without a second thought
These are some of the things that repulsed me and continue to do so.
I have met some women who were not outwardly that attractive yet had such nice characters that you would toss aside all of these so called 'beautiful' women for them. There is just no comparison.
What is on the outside does not tell you what is inside. In fact, I would go on to say, the better the outside usually the worse the inside (to a point). There is also a point at which a bad outside also shows a bad inside.
Again, it all comes back to observation.
b) What interactions between man and woman could I see clearer
See above list, they should give you some clues.
The whole male female dynamic, in particular just how much men allow themselves to be manipulated by women. They seem to welcome it and actively encourage it from what I have seen.
How men have totally lost their backbone, physically, emotionally and mentally.
How women respond to this and treat it with distain and contempt.
How women really need the opposite, a male who they cannot get away with that with.
How what men thinks work does not and how the counter-intuitive things do work.