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Men are the gatekeepers of value
http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=4721
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Author:  fufe [ Sat Jun 16, 2018 9:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

PimpDee wrote: *
Can you write some examples about it?
I actually have one I'd like Peregrinus to confirm.

This girl I know a little, we have lot of mutual friends and we meet regularly on events I attend
We talk about some stuff, then she mentions, how she sees me talk with almost everybody, and that I get along with almost everyone
It's hard to describe that moment into words on an online forum, but that sentence stood up to me.
Would you say that was a communication of value ? Because I've noticed her trying to be nice and supportive to everyone, especially younger girl who aspire to do the thing she does themselves - I actually like her supporting people like that a lot, that is one of the things that got me attracted more

Author:  peregrinus [ Sat Jun 16, 2018 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

She is describing you as a connector and someone who is socially aware

both of value to people (and her)

if she also manifests those values, it benefits her even more, by association and cooperation

"shared values"

Author:  PimpDee [ Sun Jun 17, 2018 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

fufe wrote: *
PimpDee wrote: *
Can you write some examples about it?
This girl I know a little, we have lot of mutual friends and we meet regularly on events I attend
We talk about some stuff, then she mentions, how she sees me talk with almost everybody, and that I get along with almost everyone
I had couple of times this type of words coming from a girl's mouth but I saw it as a clear sign of interest (not as a sign of value that I know people/I can talk to strangers). Like compliments.

Maybe with a foreigner even more because she explained me that in her city all people run fast and are cold...but other than that I don't know.

Other examples could be useful to understand better

Author:  peregrinus [ Sun Jun 17, 2018 9:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

PimpDee wrote: *
I had couple of times this type of words coming from a girl's mouth but I saw it as a clear sign of interest (not as a sign of value that I know people/I can talk to strangers). Like compliments.
Why would she be interested, I wonder...

Could it be because you have value to offer that matches with what she wants/needs.

GoldenBoy and TheDude both posted links on page 1 of this thread that are related to your question.

Author:  TheDude [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

fufe wrote: *
We talk about some stuff, then she mentions, how she sees me talk with almost everybody, and that I get along with almost everyone
It's hard to describe that moment into words on an online forum, but that sentence stood up to me.
fufe, maybe the sentenced stuck out to because it was pointing to something deeper in you than just the girl.

Author:  fufe [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

Yes it feels like "Yes, I am that, I am glad you are noticing" kind of warm feeling
I'd say I kind of wanted to notice it myself but didn't until now
And maybe me liking that somebody likes me for what I am (or this part of me, for starters)
That's the furthest I can see now

But god I must say I like her warm personality

Author:  Jared [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

fufe wrote: *
Yes it feels like "Yes, I am that, I am glad you are noticing" kind of warm feeling
I'd say I kind of wanted to notice it myself but didn't until now
And maybe me liking that somebody likes me for what I am (or this part of me, for starters)
That's the furthest I can see now

But god I must say I like her warm personality
Also

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 191#p43191

Author:  fufe [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

Jared wrote: *
More letting go of something you'd be hanging to internally - Which I can see myself in couple ways doing right now - so yeah :lol:

Author:  PimpDee [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

peregrinus wrote: *
PimpDee wrote: *
I had couple of times this type of words coming from a girl's mouth but I saw it as a clear sign of interest (not as a sign of value that I know people/I can talk to strangers). Like compliments.
Why would she be interested, I wonder...

Could it be because you have value to offer that matches with what she wants/needs.

GoldenBoy and TheDude both posted links on page 1 of this thread that are related to your question.
To be honest I do not get it.
I can understand that a woman can say nice things for tangible things like dress, work, house, car, whatever...that maybe she would like to have but for example knowing people in a place who is a "not tangible value"?
I do not get it. :?

Author:  peregrinus [ Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

PimpDee wrote: *
To be honest I do not get it.
I can understand that a woman can say nice things for tangible things like dress, work, house, car, whatever...that maybe she would like to have but for example knowing people in a place who is a "not tangible value"?
I do not get it. :?
Her tap starts leaking...

How long before you being able to handle plumbing is of value to her?
Or you knowing a good plumber?

Is that tangible?

[Did you re-read the posts on page1? - add this to the list : https://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtop ... 729#p23729 ]

Author:  zogler [ Sat Jul 07, 2018 10:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

Quote:
We propose that one of the bases of prejudice against love-based CNM relationships and the individuals who practice them, is zero-sum thinking about love—loosely defined as the perception that one person’s love gained is another’s love lost. We argue that some individuals engage in zero-sum thinking when interpreting love-based CNM relationships, and thus have a tendency to perceive these relationships and the parties to them as less valuable. We suggest that zero-sum thinking derives from underlying beliefs about relationship resources—that they are scarce (scarcity beliefs), and/or that an individual in a relationship deserves all of their partner’s relationship resources (entitlement beliefs).

First, individuals’ everyday experiences with scarce material resources in other domains may transfer to their understanding of abstract, romantic relationship resources like romantic love. Second, when individuals agree to be monogamous, they are typically agreeing to reserve certain behaviours (like physical intimacy) and emotions (like romantic love) for one other. Some individuals might believe that exclusivity means they are entitled to all of the time, attention, love, and intimacy that their partner has to give. In turn, this entitlement belief may lead to the perception that the love ‘spent’ on someone else represents a loss.
https://tylerburleigh.com/pubs/Burleigh ... amists.pdf

Author:  peregrinus [ Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Men are the gatekeepers of value

zogler wrote: *
In turn, this entitlement belief may lead to the perception that the love ‘spent’ on someone else represents a loss.
So this, oh this, this again.

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