Damn, this post really did blow up. Rant, I get what you are saying and logically it makes sense, but logic alone can't solve the anxiety. I have OCD or something. I can't really explain it because it doesn't make sense, I just have trouble accepting things as they are, nothing ever feels right. So knowing I'm good looking doesn't really make me more confident. Neither does knowing a girl is attracted to me. I'm still working on this, maybe it's not OCD, but there is some sort of belief system that hold holds me back. Either way it's mostly unconscious and I can't consciously choose to feel a different way.
don't push yourself too much as accepting everything as rule, you have anxiety wich means that your body reacts to external situations, accept this "nobody really cares about your condition(if you really have this condition or maybe you are giving meaning to somthing that maybe it's not a big deal) so don't take things that people say or do as personal threats to you, so you don't have to payback or in case of girls saying that you are good looking you don't need to compensate them for that, only if you want, not a rule"
acceptance and leting go it's not a rule, it's not that the external situation is bad and acceptance it's not saying to yoursellf that everything is ok, anxiety is horrible and takes time to make it dissapear but don't look for the quick fix.