Natural Freedom

Ok, I'll be very direct with this. I've read a post where a user criticized a book author saying "the focus is on approaching and not on getting approached". Is it general philosophy here that getting approached is better than approaching?
Please give some more details about it....
Are there any guys here who actually have success with this ideology? Do you guys get constantly approached and if so...do you have really good looks? Why do you think you get approached if you do?
I've met quite a few guys that are good with women but none of them get approached...with 2 exceptions...one of them is a DJ (he gets approached at concerts where he's the star) and the other one is Mr. Popularity at his University (it's an award for being voted by students the best looking guy in school)

Just don't bullshit me with stuff like "stop worrying about looks" etc. I'm asking a specific question here in a specific situation

It was me (and Dr.Awesome) who criticized the book for it, because it was talked about in the salespage, but NOT in the book.

But anyways, yes, I focus on getting approached and get more approach invitations (girl giving you eye contact, comes to stand next to you, etc) and then I MIGHT initiate a conversation with the girl (if I feel like it and I usually don’t ). General philosophy? Way more than other forums at least - that’s why I am here.
I think that your looks aren’t that important, but it’s probably not a bad idea to try to look better anyway, with better style/haircut, etc. Since I’ve started my visualizations I am getting approached much more often (by men and women) and also getting more looks from men and women, without changing my looks or style.

So why do I get approached? Because of the new beliefs I have been internalizing.

Take a look at this thread too, good stuff:
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 9&start=20

Isn't it that you're more open to the fact that women are giving you eye contact and you have a different body language because of your new belief sets?

Do affirmations work if you're not what you affirm? I mean...Cory Skyy affirms to himself that he's good looking... but he REALLY IS GOOD LOOKING.

Maybe doing that visualization thing is actually helping you get rid of your "get away from me" body language

Not saying that you're like that... but I heard of pretty many cases of guys that do Cory Skyy's affirmation "I'm a sexy mother fucker" that actually are the typical sexy mother fucker with a nice masculine face, dark hair, very nice body and tall ...and they're like "Omg I can't believe it worked." ))

I'll check out that thread. Thanks for sharing.
Tell me a little something about you in a PM if you want : age, height, constitution (buff/overweight/very slim)

I'm here to question realities, old realities and new ones alike.

Well, there is no objective scale of looks. What counts is how you see yourself. I mean someone may realise that he looks different than Jude Law and he may think that Jude Law looks better than him BUT he can still consider himself good looking and hot regardless of any non-objective standards going around in society.

And if someone is confident about his looks and he thinks that he's a sexy motherfucker then he will be treated as that too. His charisma owns the places he's in then.

Let me tell a little story about myself. 2-3 years ago I didn't feel good about my looks. I complained a lot in my head. I thought that didn't look as good as my close friends with whom I did go out all the time. I felt like the ugliest of three. Guess what, now I think that I'm as good looking if not better than my friends. Is this objectively true? Who knows

Oh and thats me by the way:

Iulian,

if you don't like your looks change what you can....
Let's say for example that someone thinks his face is not good looking enough.

he can still work on his body, change hair style wear nice clothing, work on his social skills and more....

why do we see guys that are not good looking with great looking women?
of course affirmations are not enough you have to work on changing the things you can change....

as a side note:

I have seen pictures of you on facebook and I think your face looks great
I really don't know why you have all those beliefs....

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Maybe. But before that I did “Code of the natural” (maybe the best body language product out there), but with not nearly as good result as the visualization.

The visualizations could have changed my body language (it actually did), voice, eye contact, etc, etc OR it could be something magical as the “Law of attraction” (what I believe in actually), but that’s besides the point. Who cares what it changes and WHY it works, as long as it does
You are NOT “not what you affirm”, rather you just don’t have that belief at the time and thereby don’t have the references for that either, because your beliefs create your realty.

And a belief is only a thought you think over and over. So change your belief, and that will change your reality.
But still, it was after the affirmations they started to get success, right? They probably looked exactly the same before, but was not getting results. The difference is: the new BELIEFS!!!
I could, but I know it won’t get you anywhere, so I won’t
Good, I suggest you to read the book “the Cure” (it’s only 96 pages) and I know that will give you a new reality.

Good luck

@ Awesome

Yes it is. You are a good looking guy definetly and it's not because you think you are. And I'm not saying this to rationalize my limiting beliefs or anything...I think I'll be very good looking when I'm 30. My parents also looked way better at 30-40 than in their teens.

Very good looking people / classically good looking people are not all the same... Jude Law doesn't look at all like Clooney. It would be lame if people looked very similar...we couldn't differentiate each other and it would be chaos.

Thanks for sharing your picture. Nothing new till now...affirmation working for a good looking guy.

I think it's largely a matter of tastes... I think there are girls out there who find you better looking than Alchemist and others find him better looking. One girl told another girl in high-school "Iulian is more cute than Vlad." (Vlad being the guy that was considered the hottest in general).

If anyone in this life of yours calls you ugly you must send him to an optician to check his eyes or to a psychiatrist because he's seeing things... You look great, bro! Good for you!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

@Shay
Bro, you have to understand something about me. I'm a total nerd. I really like to understand stuff... and I'm asking lots of questions, some of them not having anything to do with me. This is not EXACTLY the case...because I do have something that bothers me a bit: I look like I'm fucking 16 and girls my age don't give me much attention because of that... they think I'm too young for them or whatever (don't start it with rule number 1 cause it's not the case...I'm not doing shit). How do I know that? Women asked me if I'm 18 yet and shit like that. And no...I didn't have this belief that women think I'm younger before it happened. No matter what I thought, no matter how much I ignored it...I kept being asked this question. In hospital I was very sick and didn't think about anything...and people would still talk about me looking like I'm 16 around 4-5 different people / day.
I have to mention that GIRLS MY AGE THAT DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME act like that. I don't know if it really matters but it is a disadvantage.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Still...
THIS IS NOT A THREAD ON LOOKS...IT'S ON BEING APPROACHED BY WOMEN IF YOU'RE AVERAGE

I'll end this conversation just by pointing out that 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'

I have a friend that most women said he is ugly and then this really hot chick thought that he was good looking and became his girlfriend. Same for me: some girls see me attractive other girls don't. Not all women have the same taste just like not all men have the same taste.
I never found Julia Roberts attractive...

I have no more to add on this subject

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

<You are NOT “not what you affirm”, rather you just don’t have that belief at the time and thereby don’t have the references for that either, because your beliefs create your realty. >

What?

<And a belief is only a thought you think over and over. So change your belief, and that will change your reality.>

Ok, I believe a bunch of Victoria's Secret models will knock at my door and offer me oral sex... You think it's gonna work? Ok ok, I'm kidding and exaggerating a bit but you get my point. As Sniper says...you have to change also the source of the belief... if you believe you're fat and you are and you don't like it lose weight instead of believing you're slim )

<But still, it was after the affirmations they started to get success, right? They probably looked exactly the same before, but was not getting results. The difference is: the new BELIEFS!!!>

WRONG!
That's like saying Kobe Bryant isn't good because of his skills and physique but because he recovered from injury. Your negative beliefs neutralized the seductive effect of your looks...and now that you have changed them you're letting your looks manifest ... Good looks + good beliefs = your success Not so good looks + good beliefs=?

<I could, but I know it won’t get you anywhere, so I won’t>

Ok so you're a tall, good looking guy that's in shape.

Why the fuck do you guys need affirmations to feel good about yourselves?
Did you think you were ugly before doing them?
Sometimes I wonder... why did Cory Skyy need affirmations?

Well...at least we agree on something, Iulian!

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

you know what Iulian? you are right...
you don't need affirmations or anything. Nothing is going to work for you, all you can do is sit at home and rant that you are screwed.

It's a lot easier and you can always say that nothing worked because you haven't tried anything....

good day

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

One can also use his/her LifePurpose as an
affirmation, and that´s something to think about
most of the time. Why not direct it to something
worth while, the mind. Planning, doing, living.

Fastest way to change a belief is to examine your
values, when you change values, you change beliefs,
it´s going to be like a chain reaction, every belief you
had because of a value, will fall down, to support a
new value.

_________________
♫♫♩♫‿◦

Corry didn't need affirmations, he lost his V card at the age of 13 and was always confident, he's probably on some marketing bullshit with that spiel.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

not exacly true, on MM he said that he had a motorbike accident or something. Then he was
lying at his parent's basement (that's where he was living after the accident) and he looked in the mirror and didn't like what he saw (his image).

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Although I have to say that the fat guy can visualize himself as being slim and fit... and that WILL help him LOSE WEIGHT FASTER. I speak from personal experience.

I used an affirmation "I deserve to look good."...and I started unconsciously eating less and I lost around 5-6 kgs or more in a week.

The best affirmation I did in front of my mirror (in my underwear) was after a good session at the gym, my muscles were all tensed and big and I was like "damn, I look good today"... (I have an approximately 3 years fitness experience). I didn't have to force anything because I had the visual proof in front of me. The problem is when guys get a nice body shape and they still believe they have an ugly body (dysmorphobia). Girls do appreciate reasonably muscular/fit guys...as opposed to very skinny or obese ones.

Let's stay on topic. I asked you guys advice on getting approached in 2 threads and you ended up posting stuff about looks. Tell me stuff about getting approached now )

You want a simple formula? try the one I used to quit smoking:

-Will Power
-Taking Action

That's it, your obsessions do you no service whatsoever, eating less is something you can consciously do, you don't have to force yourself to believe something, especially when it's right in front of you!!

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

How can it not be?

Surely it is better to be approached than to approach

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Yes, let’s say you believe you not good-looking. Are you really not good-looking or is it just a belief? Well, who knows, because that’s all subjective. BUT instead of believing that you are NOT good-looking, you can internalize a new belief: “all women find me good-looking”.
That will give you the CONFIDENCE that all women are looking after, not necessarily the good-looks
So? Do that, then! And when did I disagree? In fact I said in another thread that action MUST follow too!

You are discussing just for the sake of it.
Do you know what your biggest problem is? You are making assumptions left and right, and that CAN be fine, but in your case they are all negative and self-defeating!

I am 5,6”, if you must know
WTF??? YOU are the one who has been crying about looks the entire time.
So why don’t you test out and let us know?

Looking forward to it. Good luck

Nailed it.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."